


Not very (n)ice!

by ThunderFrost2012



Series: Fluff&Fun&More [1]
Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Baboon, Basti is a secret agent and he doesn't even know, Bastian and Lukas fear the worst, Bastian has a plan;, Bastian takes his mission very seriously, Bored Thom is love, Determined Toni is determined, Discovery, Drawing, Erik and Christoph are sweet and innocent puppies;, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, FIFA World Cup 2014, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, German National Team, I'm really proud of the previous tag, Jealous Lukas is jealous, Lukas and Bastian are in trouble, Lukas can't really say no to Bastian, M/M, Manu and Phips have a secret passion, Manuel does love Nutella, Manuel doesn't love only Nutella, Mario feels lonely, Masks, Mats and Benedikt are oblivious, Mats and Benni risk multiple heart attacks, Miro and Thom influence each other, Miroslav and Thomas are evil, Miroslav can be an actor, Miroslav is determined, Miroslav just wants a romantic time with Thomas, More characters to be added, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Never Piss Fips off, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge, Schweinski is always a good thing, Sexy Sudoku, Sleepy André is sleepy, Sorry Not Sorry, Strip Games, Thomas has infallible plans, Thomas is paranoid as well, Thomas needs attentions, Thomas thinks about stuff in the weirdest times, Toni and André are hiding something, Toni and André deserved a moment only for themselves, Tree Climbing, Turquoise Nutella, Twitter, Walkie-talkie slang again just because;, a smutty Kloller moment, agitated Poldi is fun, and...scoop!, annoyed Miro is fun, awkward misunderstanding, crazy craziness still rules, everyone is in love, exasperated Philipp is love, final prank, fluff and craziness all over around, fluffy craziness and crazy fluff, grouchy Jogi is love, grumpy Miro is love, have fun, hints of Gotzeus, hints of kinky stuff, ice buckets, ice is the core of the mission, insulted Basti is fun, lame excuses, lots of crack, more crazy stuff to come, not so serious Miroslav, obsessed Thomas is fun, oh wait it was supposed to be smutty but it turned out comic, paranormal pranks, poor Manu and Fips are misunderstood, pranks of the past, restless Thomas, selfie - Freeform, someone is plotting...., there will be other pairings but I won't spoil, this is turning crazier and crazier, walkie talkie slang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderFrost2012/pseuds/ThunderFrost2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 July 2014. Post Round of eight. There’s so much adrenaline still left, especially for one of the players. It’s supposed to be a day of relaxation, but with Thomas Müller around you can never relax. What if someone else helped him in his mischief?</p><p>1st Aug 2016: completed!!!!! \*o*/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I: I’m booooored!

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, it’s me again, I’m sorry, but inspiration doesn’t want to leave me alone.  
> Blame twitter for that, the #IceBucketChallenge gave me weird ideas. At the beginning I wanted to write about it (after all, Jerome challenged Lukas and the game can go on and on … ;P ) but then I chose something different… hope you won’t mind.
> 
> There’s lot of Kloller (Klose/Müller) with a bit of sappy smut, hope you won’t mind that, too ;P
> 
> Warning: exaggerate amount of fluff, silliness, hilarity. So, if you love just and only angst, keep as far as you can from this fic! XD I’m sorry if I disappoint you, but Miro and Thom here are very, very happy …
> 
> Beta: Thanks to the wonderful Peter for his huge help, support and patience.  
> Go to read his Gotzeus stuff ^^ here http://archiveofourown.org/users/Peter_Ambos/pseuds/Peter_Ambos
> 
> Disclaimer: Not true, never happened *sighs* , the characters belong only to themselves and I write just for fun.

“Miro, Miro, Miro, Mirooooo...”  
No response.

Thomas decided that words weren’t enough and started to push and tug him, softly.  
“Miroooo, MIROO, Miro!!” He insisted, pushing him a bit more rudely.

“What the hell do you want?” Poor Miroslav barked, jolting awake, abruptly.

His eyes met a way too hyper Thomas, who sat on his bed,  staring at him expectantly.

There were pros and cons when sleeping with Thomas. That was definitely on the cons list.

“Hey, Miro, were you sleeping?” The younger asked him, innocently.  
“Nooo, Thomas, why should I sleep at _eight o’ clock_  in the morning on a _holiday_?” Miroslav grunted sarcastically, trying to get his sleep back.

“But I’m booooored!” Thomas whined, disappointed.  
“It’s not my problem. Watch TV, read a book, play videogames, go jogging, find yourself a new hobby, just let me sleep!” Miroslav replied with his eyes closed, before burying his head under the pillow.

“But Miroooo…”  
Another whimper.  
Thomas could be even more stubborn and persistent than Luan and Noah put together, but Miro had decided to use the same strategy that he adopted with his sons: deliberately ignore him.

It seemed to work, because Thomas kept silent for at least four minutes. Four precious minutes of quiet.  
But it wasn’t over yet.

“Fine, so if you want to be left alone, I guess I’ll have a looong phone call with Mario. In Italy it should be midnight or a tad later. Wait. If he’s still in Italy. Oh, well, I’m going to find out.” Thomas spoke out loud on purpose, fidgeting with his iPhone.

An arm quickly rose from the sheets and was placed on his mobile. A few instants later, a head popped out from the pillow as well.

“Don’t you even try. I’m more than awake now. You can speak to me!” Miroslav almost growled, putting his mate’s mobile back on the night table.

– It always works! – Thomas mused devilishly, smiling to himself.

“So, do you want to talk about yesterday’s match? Let’s talk. Yeah, beating France is always a good thing, even if we had to fight hard for that.” The older commenced, sitting up on the bed.

– Goodbye, plans to rest until noon! – He sighed mentally.

“Hell yeah we had, but then Mats rescued our asses!” The younger nodded excitedly. “And now it’s Semi-Finals, again! Brazil, you’d better start fearing us from now on!” He added, almost jumping around on the bed.

“Yeah, right, but Tuesday is still far away, can you try to relax now?” Miroslav gave it another try.  
Utterly useless.

“Nope, I just can’t, I’m too restless. And I’m bored. Let’s do something!” Thomas exhorted him.  
“Such as?” Miroslav yawned.

“I don’t know, but I just want you to be awake, so, at least… we can get bored together!” Thomas winked at him with a sexy innuendo.  
“Oh, baby, you know how much I enjoy… getting bored with you!” He played his same game, kissing the top of his nose affectionately, before getting up to drink some water, in order to better wake up.

He took a glass and poured himself the water that he had forgotten to put back in the mini fridge the day before, but he didn’t drink it.  
After all, there was nothing worse to drink than warm water in such a hot day.

 “Do you know what you could do? Be a good boy, go outside and get me some ice, the ice I had has melted.” Miroslav said, handing the now empty ice bucket to him.

Thomas got up and stared at him, sort of enlightened.  
“Ice, you said, hmm?”

But after all those years together, Miro had learned to recognize that light in his eyes. And that dangerous smirk, too.

“Thomas, no!” He tried to reason with him.

“Why not? C’mon, it’ll be fun!” The younger struck back.  
“They’re gonna hate us forever!” The older warned him.  
“Don’t be so tragic, it’s just a joke!”  
“It’s a bad joke!”  
“It’s a great joke! And here it’s hot as hell, they’re going to thank us for that” Thomas debated.

He had some points. Miroslav had to recognize that he missed Europe with its fresher temperatures.

“I don’t know, Thom, it’s so childish and lame…” He retorted, but not as firmly as before.

Thomas took a step closer to him and cupped his partner’s face with his hands, staring deeply into his eyes, blue drowning into another shade of blue.

“C’mon, love. Be a child again, with me…” He whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth.

How was Miroslav supposed to refuse such a tempting offer?

“On one condition.” The Pole agreed.

“Anything.” The German replied, wishing it wouldn’t be a too serious condition.  
And, lucky for him, it wasn’t.

“We must start with the lovebirds!” Miroslav winked at him.  
Thomas grinned and nodded, before hugging his boyfriend tight.

Who said that Miroslav Klose couldn’t be funny sometimes?

“Well, Thommie…” The older murmured, letting his hand slip gracefully under the CK grey T-shirt Thomas wore. “Now it’s still too early for jokes. So how about stick to the world of adults again and find some rather interesting ways to kill time, hmm?” He suggested, peppering his boyfriend’s neck with kisses, while he was toying with one nipple, before giving the same attentions to the other.

Thomas hissed in delight, pressing himself against his lover even more, his hand already finding its way into Miroslav’s black Adidas boxers.  
 “I couldn’t agree more!” Thomas giggled, smashing his lips against the other’s so hard that they lost balance and walked backwards, until they fell back onto the bed again, with all the purposes to spend a relevant amount of time there.

Thomas could have spent ages worshipping every inch of Miroslav’s body, savouring his salty skin, enjoying every of his cries of pleasure, kissing him until the last of their days, resting in his arms and losing himself in the incredible feeling of their souls melting into one.

He loved him, he really did, and couldn’t believe his luck realizing that such a football legend, such a wonderful man, was his.

Sure, saving the times they belonged to their wives. Their heart was split in two. It was unconventional, it was weird, it was risky, but they could make things work.

Miroslav could have never gotten tired of Thomas, he loved everything about him: the softness of his hair, the smell of his skin, the taste of his kisses, the darker blue his eyes turned when lust overwhelmed them, the skill of his hands and mouth, the things he whispered to him, the way he moaned when they made love.

There were pros and cons when sleeping with Thomas. That was definitely on the pros list.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

At about a quarter past nine, after finding a larger bucket for their evil plans, Miroslav and Thomas were ready to strike.  
Once they reached the planned spot, they placed the bucket on the floor and filled it with water. Then they added some ice cubes and waited for the ice to work its magic.

Everything was ready; showtime could finally begin.

“Please, remind me once more, why am I doing this?” Miroslav asked him in a whisper, not to be heard.

“Oh, well, that’s simple, because you love me,” Thomas replied in the same way, stealing a quick kiss from him. “And mostly because, deep inside, you know that you want to do that, too.” He chuckled.

“Shut up and lift the damn bucket up!” The older snorted, lifting it with him and getting ready to knock.

Behind that door, poor Lukas and Bastian were still sleeping peacefully; unaware of what was waiting for them.

(end part I)


	2. II: But you,... Miro!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pranks start, how will everyone react?  
> Let's check the first loving couples - I mean, victims!- ;P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo :)  
> thank you soooo much for comments, kudos, subscriptions… everything that shows me you care *O*  
> I hope you’ll still do…
> 
> Beta: The wonderful Peter :)

Miroslav exchanged the umpteenth understanding look with Thomas and knocked on the door, fast, loud and repetitively.

“Whhaaaa..tt the ff..uk?” Someone slurred from the other side.

Miroslav and Thomas couldn’t be totally sure about it but it could have been Bastian’s voice.

“Room Service, Sir!” Miroslav disguised his voice perfectly, with a remarkable English accent.  
“Confess! You are also an actor besides being a football player, right?” Thomas whispered at him, astonished.

“But weee ddiiii n’ order ..ny thing!”  
Another slurred answer and this time it was Lukas’s.

“Room Service, Sir, please, open the door!” Miroslav went on with his flawless performance.

He and Thomas could hear some footsteps approaching and got ready to do their duty.

“Listen, really, we didn’t order any…” Lukas attempted to explain.  
As soon as the handle had been pulled down and the door pulled behind, the mischievous duo sprayed icy water on the unlucky owners of the room.  
Yep, because Bastian was right by his fellow’s side.

There was laughter from one side and yells and cursing from the other.

“Gooood moooornig!” Thomas cheered, giggling.  
“Are you two nuts?” Bastian growled, but he was too frozen for any kind of reaction.

“Well, I would expect such stupid pranks from Thomas, but _you,_... Miro!” Lukas complained, pointing at the oldest and blaming him with his look.

Bastian’s nonstop multitude of cursing, bad words and insults worked as a background for the whole scenario in the meantime.

“Yeah, he’s funny! I’m so proud of him!” Thomas grinned, wrapping his arm around the older Pole’s waist.

“What can I say? If you sleep with the dog, you’ll wake up with the fleas!” Miroslav shrugged.  
“If you _fuck_ the dog, in your case!” Bastian woke up from his sort of pissed-off trance, making the pair laugh.  
Truth must be told, only Lukas and Bastian knew Miroslav’s and Thomas’ ‘dirty little secret’.

“So am I a dog, now?” Thomas pretended to act insulted.  
“Well, Miro feeds you, takes you outside for walks, pets you, _plays_ with you…” Lukas commenced, taking two dry towels and handing one to Bastian.  
“And someone said you howl when you’re with him!” The blond added.

Thomas turned redder than his Bayern Munich uniform.

“Mirooo! You weren’t supposed to tell anyone!” He whined, slapping his shoulder.  
“Well, but you do, puppy!” Miro replied, patting him like a good doggie.

“Stop it or you’ll get an ice bucket as well!” Thomas snapped.  
“As if it was a real threat, I use to bathe in ice, in case you forgot!” The older shrugged.  
“I take it back, you’re not funny!” his boyfriend snorted.

As they quarreled, the other two were busy rubbing each other inside their towels.

“Awww, look at them, aren’t they super cute?” Thomas teased.  
“Fuck you and shut up! It’ll be your fault if we catch the queen of flues and can’t play the match!” Bastian snapped.  
“Oh, please, you’re a big boy, a few drops of water won’t kill you for sure!” Miroslav retorted.

“If this comforts you somewhat … you’ve been the first target on our list!” Thomas informed them.  
“Oh, really? That’s so nice of you, we’re touched!” Bastian struck back sarcastically.

“But the day is still long and we still have so many victims to claim.” Thomas announced.

Lukas surprised everyone with his offer.

“What if we helped you?”

Bastian was the most shocked one.

“Whaat?! But, Prince Poldi, I was sure you hated stuff like that!” He asserted, staring at his best friend/soul mate/love of his life in wonder.  
“Phew! I hate it so much more when someone bursts into my room with a video camera, while I’m still sleeping, and then wakes me up rudely and humiliates me on You Tube!” Lukas snorted, narrowing his eyes at his best friend/soul mate/love of his life.  
“Ahah, yep, I remember that, it was fun!” Thomas gave Bastian a high five, both of them chuckling.

“Well, I think it’s even worse to be stuck in one of Thomas’s tricky logic games!” Bastian recalled, glaring at the youngest.  
“It’s not my fault if you’re so naive!” Thomas struck back.

“However, why do you want to help us, Lukas?” Miroslav asked him, frowning.  
“Well, I guess that to be your partners in crime is the best way to keep an eye on you!” The younger Pole explained.  
“That’s brilliant, you, genius!” Bastian approved, pecking his mate’s lips.

“What do you think, Thom?” Miroslav consulted with his boyfriend.  
“The more, the merrier!” The youngest smirked.  
“Fine, then, now sort yourselves out and when you’re ready just join us. Now we’re going to deal with Manuel.” Miroslav informed them.

“Sounds good. Now Basti and I will have a shower.” Lukas stated.  
“Not together!” Bastian rushed to point out.  
“Yeah, sure. _Not_ together!” Thomas pretended to believe them, rolling his eyes, while Miroslav chuckled.

It was the other two’s turn to blush considerably.

“Whatever… see ya later and if you don’t find Manu in his room, try Phips’.” Lukas advised them, already pushing the midfielder inside the bathroom.

“Right, I hadn’t thought about that.” Thomas slapped his forehead, leaving the room with Miroslav.  
“Wait. What is right? Why should Manu be in Phips’ room?” The Pole frowned and narrowed his eyes.  
“The proper question is ‘why should he _not_ be there?’” The German winked at him.  
That was a more than explicit answer.

“Manu and Phips together?! Really?” Miroslav realized. “The German National Team is not the one of yore anymore!”  
“Nope, it’s not, now it’s definitely better, my dear veteran!” Thomas smirked, hugging and kissing him, taking advantage in no one being around yet.

They arrived at the corridor where Manuel was supposed to be, but, surprise, surprise, they didn’t find him in his room.

Of course, they had hidden the buckets before knocking on the door and finding only his rather asleep roommate who informed them that Manuel wasn’t there.

“Why didn’t we hit him, too?” Miroslav wondered, as they walked away.  
“Because Kevin is no fun all alone, we’ll strike later, when he’s in a group.” Thomas ordered.  
“Okay, Boss!” Miroslav smirked. “So, where are we headed now?”  
“Try to guess, honey!” Thomas winked at him.

“Different scenario this time.” The younger said, once they were in the corridor of Philipp’s room.  
“I had already imagined that when you chose to use two buckets this time.” The other replied.

“That’s it. I’ll go first. If I’m not wrong, and I’m rarely wrong…” Thomas commenced, but Miroslav seemed to have something to say about it.  
“Actually…”  
“Shut up!” The German stopped him with a gesture of his hand. “As I was saying, they are in the same room now, which means they’re more than awake. Phips is a discreet guy and won’t like to be seen with Manu in public, so he’ll try to hide him. That’s why I’ll go first for Phips and when he thinks it’s over, you’ll get inside, searching for Manu to hit him!” He illustrated his infallible plan.

“When exactly did you turn into a second-rate copy of Sherlock Holmes?” Miroslav made fun of him.  
“Shut up, Watson!” Thomas struck back.

Instantly, Miroslav trapped him into his iron embrace.  
“Hey, kid, you’re shutting me up way too often today.” The Pole made him notice, in a sort of threatening tone.

“I know, but I promise that later I’ll let you test all the ways you want to shut me up.” Thomas sexily offered.  
Miroslav kissed him hungrily, but Thomas broke free.  
“Later, I said. Now let’s continue with the plan. Hide there.” He instructed him.  
   
Just as Thomas had predicted, Philipp and Manuel were in the Captain’s room, in the same bed, extremely busy in morning sex.

“You like it, don’t you?” Manuel smirked, straddling him.  
“I’ll like it even more when I’ll have you fully inside me and…”

Knock-knock.

“What was that? Is someone knocking?” Philipp startled.  
“Nope, it’s just us pushing the headboard of the bed against the wall.” Manuel groaned, increasing the rhythm.

It helped blow Philipp’s mind away, but only for a few instants.

“Phips, are you there?” Thomas yelled behind the door, knocking again.  
“Shit! It’s Thom!” Philipp hissed, parting from Manuel, getting up and searching for their clothes, scattered all around the room. “And you must hide, now!” He ordered, throwing to the goalkeeper his boxers and T-shirt.

Snorting, Manuel crouched at the edge of the bed and covered himself with the sheets and the pillows.

“Phiiips, c’mon!” Thomas insisted.

“Yeah, I’m here, just give me a minute!” Philipp yelled back, wearing his tracksuit and then turned to Manuel or rather a giant pile of sheets. “That’s not hiding, that’s more a ‘waaaah, why do you have a mountain on your bed?’!”

“Ok, I’ll try something else…” Manuel came back to surface and rolled his eyes, trying to go under the bed.  
“It’s too narrow, I can’t fit!” The goal keeper justified, woeful.

“Philipp, hurry up, I need to speak with you, there’s something you absolutely must know!” Thomas urged him.

“I’ll be at the door in a second!” Philipp struck back, nervous, while he dealt with his boyfriend.  
“Let me see.. uh, right… go behind the curtains, they’re long and heavy, they’ll cover you!” He instructed him, pushing him towards the large window.

“I should choose more petit lovers!” He muttered to himself, walking towards the door.  
“Hey! I’ve heard you!” Manuel snapped, jealous.

“Don’t move and don’t speak!” The smaller summoned him, while he finally went to the front door.

“So, Thomas, what should I know so damn important that you can’t hold on a second more?” He snorted, opening to him.  
“How gullible you are!” Thomas laughed, showering him with the icy water, from his hair to his feet.

“Aaaaaaaaaaah! Tho- Thomas, you, da- damn idiot! I me- mean, you’re almost twe- twenty-five years oooold, for God’s sake, you mu- must grow up. There’s no- no time for such chi- childish crap, it ‘s not e- even funny and…”

His angry – because of the prank – and shivering – because of the cold- speech was interrupted by a resounding laughter. And nope, it wasn’t from the striker.  
Thomas giggled and rushed to the large window, before Philipp could stop. But, really, even if he had walked in slow-motion, Philipp would be too damn cold to even move a leg.

“Well, well, Philipp, since when do you have curtains that laugh?” He said, pulling them and revealing a caught-off-guard Manuel.  
“Damn you, Manuel! You were supposed to be hidden, quiet and mostly silent!” Philipp snapped, starting to recover from the cold.

“I don’t give a damn, it was worth it, I mean, look at you!” Manuel burst out laughing again.  
He didn’t even notice a quick figure entering the room.  
“Don’t cheer to soon, Manu…” Thomas warned him, while Miroslav positioned himself.  
“Uh?” Manu was puzzled, but it was far too late to do anything.

“Hey, Manu, try to stop this, if you can!” Miroslav challenged him, before splashing the water against him.  
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, it’s fucking freezing!” Manu whined, while, as caring as always, Philipp arranged bathrobes for both of them.

“Thomas is a big asshole, we all know that, but _you_ ,… Miro!” Philipp stated, sort of upset, while Manu looked at the oldest with pure disbelief.

“Well, I wanted to prove to myself that I can be funny, too!”  Miroslav shrugged.  
“Idiot, not funny!” Philipp snapped.  
“Maybe both.” The Pole agreed.

“Trying to break the top-scorer worldwide record is not good for you, Miro: you have sunk to the same level as he did!” The Captain went on, pointing at the youngest.  
“Hey! He did not _sink,_ he’s just _rose_ to my level!” Thomas corrected him.

Philipp realized something important: Manuel hadn’t said anything for some minutes.

– Is he going to get hypothermia? – He wondered, deeply concerned.

His lover chose just that moment to break the silence and burst out laughing again.

“Dammit, Miro! I’d never expected such a thing from you, ahahah, I adore you!” he said among giggles.  
“Wait! You’re not pissed off?!” Philipp frowned at him.

“Naaah, I’m just amazed. Who would ever say? Opa is fun! What’s next, will you go around with us at night, ring at bells random and then fly off?” Manuel said, patting his shoulder.  
“Hey, sounds good!” Thomas approved, already excited.  
“Do. Not. Even. Try.” Miro warned him, as calmly as coldly.  
“Thanks God, that’s the Miro I know and cherish!” Philipp commented, relief evident in his face.

 “Hey, Phips, tell us, why was Manu here in your room this early in the morning?” Thomas had fun interrogating him.  
Philipp and Manuel became paler instantly. And it wasn’t because of the cold.

“Yeah, right, was he fixing your curtains? You know, it’s rather hard to believe…” Miroslav added, making them feel even worse.

“Well, he needed to…” Philipp babbled.  
“He called me here because…” Manuel jabbered at the same time.

“Calm down, guys. We know.” Miroslav said, with a very eloquent look.  
“You do?” Philipp asked, astonished.

“Sure, and we aren’t the only ones.” Thomas informed them.

That was the real wet blanket for the Captain and the goalkeeper.  
   
“I was sure we were so discreet…” Manuel muttered, while he hugged Philipp as a child would hug his favorite stuffed animal.  
“Yep, just like now!” Thomas rolled his eyes.  
   
“Whatever! Manu, no wonder you’re not bothered, to you the real tragedy would be if they stole the stockpile of Nutella that you keep in your room!” The smallest asserted.

Manuel immediately stopped to hug him and turned to the other two, pure terror in his eyes.  
“Wait… what? You would never dare… would you?”  
“Who knows? We even passed by your room…” Thomas answered with his best mysterious attitude.  
“We have a very busy agenda today, so… see ya around, guys!” Miro waved his hand and walked away with Thomas, closing the door behind their back.  
   
Philipp dried himself a bit more and then he went back to bed.

“Well, Manu, if I recall right, we were in the middle of something…” He invited him, undoing the belt of his bathrobe very slowly.  
But Manuel wasn’t in the right mood anymore.  
“I don’t know. I’m not relaxed. What if they did something to my stockpile?” Manuel wondered, walking in circle, very nervously. “I’d better go back to my room and check.” He decided, heading towards the door.

“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this!” Philipp muttered to himself, opening the drawer of his night table and procuring out of it, a jar of Nutella.  
“Uhhh, Manuuu, look what I got!” He called him, opening the jar.

That vision had the same effect on Manuel as a magnet would've and he dove on the bed.  
Philipp smirked, dipping his index in the chocolate cream and waiting for Manuel to suck it good and proper.  
Once he was done with his finger, he took care of his lips, kissing him for a long, long time.  
After all, Nutella plus Philipp was a mix that could drive Manuel crazy.

“And I’ll tell you something else – if you are a good boy you can smear it all over my naked body.” Philipp promised, once he was free to breathe again.

“I love you!” Manuel declared, grabbing the jar.  
“Wait, who are you talking to? Me … or the Nutella?” Philipp teased him, pinching his nipple through the T-shirt.  
“What a silly question.” Manuel pretended to be insulted, then giggled. “Both!”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I confess, I’m fond of the Manu/Phips pairing, c’mon, look at them, they’re so impossibly cute together *O*  
> show your love for such a wonderful pairing ^^ *asks for more Manu/Phips fics around * 
> 
> And after all the Nutella spots with Manuel that I watched on you tube, I just had to put Nutella in it XD
> 
> About Thomas’ tricky logic games… watch this (I understood it only because I found the English gifts on the web), it’s just too hilarious ^^
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lHA4FcTdH0 
> 
> If I made you smile at least once, my mission is accomplished ;) , but feel free to tell me anything, really, even if you want me to stop bothering you with my stuff!
> 
> If this story doesn’t play tricks on me anymore, next part should be the last ;)
> 
> p.s. Next update will be ‘Too Soon’ , don’t miss it! ;)


	3. III: The mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nope... I'd better keep silent (and run away)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again.
> 
> I'm so flattered by all your wonderful comments, I have no words to thank you, it means the world to me that you're enjoyng this fic so much , so I hope you'll keep having fun ^^
> 
> Warning: don’t even try to find a glimmer of normality or wisdom, they’re gone! Weird madness overwhelmed this story, will it be a bad or a good thing? I’ll let you judge…
> 
> Uh, there’s also a romantic Kloller moment somewhere, kudos if you find it ;P
> 
> Besides, since you happened to enjoy Manu and Phips a lot, there will be another moment involving them – Okay, just kidding, I would write it anyway XD 
> 
> Beta: the amazing Peter, thank you so so so much :)

‘Meet us at the gazebo near the beach. L’

Lukas’ text on Miroslav’s iPhone was very plain, so he and Thomas couldn’t do anything but do as they had been told.  
The more they got closer to the gazebo, the clearer their view became.

“I can already see Lukas from afar… but where’s Bastian?” Miroslav wondered.

“I can’t see him anywhere, either. But the real question is… why is Lukas with a soldier, a trooper or something?” Thomas wondered, while only a few meters separated them from the gazebo.

“Thomas… I’m afraid that Lukas is really with Bastian, indeed.” Miroslav figured out, sort of stunned.

“Hey, guys! How did the prank go? We were right, weren’t we? Manu was at Phips’, right?” Bastian approached them.

“We aren’t going to answer not even to a single question until you explain to us what the hell you’re wearing!” Thomas snapped, even more stunned.

“And why you’re wearing that! What, did you lose a bet?” Miroslav added.

As a matter of fact, Bastian wore a sort of realistic camouflage battle dress.

The only thing missing was a couple of black greasepaint strips under his eyes, in order to make him even more aggressive.

“Phew! You’re just envious, because you don’t have one for the mission! But even if you did, you would never look as good as me.” He cockily declares.

“Well, he has a point…” Lukas recognized, staring at his boyfriend, while a relevant amount of kinky fantasies were filling his mind.

“Of course, he has, you just can’t wait to play Florence Nightingale with him!”

While everyone would expect such a witty remark from Thomas, it had been Miroslav who had said that, but Lukas was too busy blushing to strike back.

“First; there are at least forty degrees around here, aren’t you suffering inside that ridiculous thing? Second; you don’t need a stupid uniform for what we must do. Third; where the hell did you find a shop that sells such stuff?”

Once again, everyone would expect such a speech from Miroslav but it was Thomas who had just spoken.

Probably the two lovers had a mutual influence on each other.

Bastian burst out laughing.

“A shop? No way, I didn’t buy it anywhere around here.”

Both Miroslav’s and Thomas’ jaw could have touched the ground; because of the dumbfounded way they were staring at his friend.

Lukas didn’t seem so impressed by his boyfriend’s answer, so he probably already knew the truth.

“Do you mean that not only you bought somewhere, someday a camouflage battle uniform, but you deliberately brought that thing with you from home?” Miroslav questioned him in disbelief, while both Bastian and Lukas proudly nodded.

“I was there when he packed his stuff for Brazil!” Lukas explained, grinning.

“Sure, you never know what could happen when you’re on a journey. You’d better get ready for anything!” The blond justified.

“Excuse me, when you say ‘anything’ you mean a sudden war between Brazil and Germany, right?” Thomas made fun of him, rolling his eyes.

“That is going to happen on the field only, on Tuesday!” Lukas asserted with a smirk.

“Okay, now let’s come back to the mission,” Bastian said, searching for something in the small plastic shop bag he was holding.

“Can you at least stop calling it the ‘mission’?” Thomas politely asked him.

“Nope!” was Bastian’s equally polite answer. “These are to keep us in contact!” He went on, handing a walkie-talkie to Thomas and Miro and keeping one for him and Lukas.

 “Walkie-talkies?!” Thomas questioned him with his look.

“ * The Avengers * walkie-talkies?!” Miroslav necessarily pointed out, waving the colorful toys in front of Bastian.

“Sure, every proper mission requires walkie-talkies!” The midfielder nodded.

“I didn’t know he put them in his trolley!” Lukas admitted, frowning.

“Couldn’t we just use our mobile phones?” Miroslav wondered. He always preferred more practical solutions.

“No way! It's way more fun with walkie-talkies!” Bastian retorted.

“Okay, I can accept the walkie-talkies, but before we start doing anything… please, go change your outfit!” Miroslav pleaded.

“Yeah, Saving Private Schweinsteiger, I can’t look at you dressed so poorly!” Thomas topped it off.

“It’s not poorly, it’s just fitting!” Bastian protested, glaring at the youngest. “And don’t call me that!”

“As you wish, Ramb-astian!” Thomas wittingly stroke back, as spiteful as a cat.

“Geez, that’s even worse! Ok, I’ll go bloody change, anything to make you shut the fuck up!” Bastian grumbled, insulted. “Be right back.” He attempted to leave.

“Wait, I’ll come with you!” Lukas offered, reaching his mate. “And don’t put that battle dress back in your trolley: tonight we could make an alternative-sexy version of ‘Apocalypse now’!” He whispered in his ear, sensually.

Bastian cast a naughty smirk in his direction.

“Why should we wait until tonight?” He whispered back, eagerly.

His only answer, Lukas grinned madly.

But Miroslav was not that naïve and had noticed the way they were staring at each other.

“Hey, you two!” He called, approaching them with a short run. “No cuddling time for you, got it? You’d better be back here in five minutes, don’t make me wait even a single second more!” He ordered, straight-faced.

Thomas had reached them as well and he watched their two friends leaving with snorts and grumbling.

“Mm, there was so much authority in you. My love, dominance goes to your head!” He purred, rubbing his cheek against the elder’s.

“Does it disappoint you somehow, honey?” Miroslav purred back, caressing his hair.

“Quite the contrary!” The other grinned. “By the way, I was wondering, must we respect that ‘no cuddles’ rule as well?” He asked him but it was more like a sexy suggestion.

Miro took a deep sigh.

“You know,  Müllie, I would abolish that stupid rule, if it wasn’t for those waiters down there, the couple right behind us and that family who is walking there.” He explained, while he pointed to everyone he enumerated, with all the possible discretion.

“Those are the incredible delights of the secret affairs!” Thomas muttered in a sort of bittersweet irony.

Miroslav understood and pulled him closer; entwining the younger’s fingers with his.

“You’re _not_ an affair. Never say that again. You’re so much more to me and if only things were a tad easier I’d show you right here, right now.” He murmured, his forehead resting against the German's.

Thomas squeezed his hand, smiling sweetly and nodding, before parting from him and assuming a less ambiguous pose.

Lukas and Bastian were back four minutes later.

Finally Bastian was wearing Bermuda shorts and a shirt, more or less like the other three.

“We’re still waiting to know where these came from!” Thomas retorted, wavering the Avengers walkie-talkie in front of the blond.

“It was a gift for Louis.” Bastian revealed.

“It doesn’t explain why you have them!” Miroslav pointed out.

“Well, Louis didn’t want them.” Bastian woefully admitted, staring at the ground and kicking the grass.

“Thanks God, my son is a clever child!” Lukas smirked.

“I guess that even Luan and Noah would refuse them without a second thought!” Miroslav stated.

Thomas snorted annoyed.

“Geez, your kids have such fussy tastes in matter of gifts! I found these tools adorable!” He confessed.

Bastian raised his gaze, grinning like an idiot.

“Finally there’s someone who speaks my same language!” He said, giving a high five to Thomas.

“Maybe it’s because Miro and I are Polish!” Lukas sarcastically stroke back, rolling his eyes, as the oldest did.

“Hey, Thom, you know what? You and I will be the only ones who actually can use the walkie-talkies, Lukas and Miro will only have the code name!” Bastian decided.  
“What?” Thomas, Lukas and Miroslav asked in unison.

The only difference was that the first has asked it with excitement, the other two with pure disbelief.

“Basti, for God’s sake! You hadn’t told me about the code names!” Lukas complained.

“What can I say, honey? I’m a source of surprises!” The blond winked at him.

“This is so impossible cool, it’s just like those action movies, you know?” Thomas babbled and he was practically bouncing.

“Code names? We don’t have time for that!” Miroslav opposed.

“Code names are the core of the mission! No one will move from here until we don’t find the proper ones!” Bastian ordered.

“What about Pole1, Pole2, German1 and German2?” Miroslav suggested after some minutes of deep and concentrated silence.

Bastian and Lukas didn’t even give him an answer, while Thomas patted his shoulder, encouragingly.

“Honey, I guess that creativity is not one of your best qualities!”

Silence fell over the group once again; this time it was Bastian to break it.

“I got it! I’ll be ‘Tiger’, just because! And Lukas will be ‘Dolphin’ because, oh, he’s so smart and nice!” The older German said, flicking his boyfriend’s cheek. “Miro can be ‘Eagle’ also in honor of Lazio,” He went on and Miro nodded in full approval.

“Hey, what about me?” Thomas whined.

He hated to be excluded, no matter about what.

“I’m still looking for the right one…” Bastian mumbled.

“Ferret!” Miroslav anticipated everyone. “Thom, you’ll be 'Ferret'.”

“Yeah, it’s great!” Bastian approved.

“No way, I don’t like it!” Thomas grimaced, shaking his head like a spoiled kid.

“Hun, it’s just perfect and it fits, you’re so weedy and cute!” Miroslav insisted.

“Could I reevaluate German2?” The youngest politely asked, turning to Bastian.

The midfielder grinned devilishly.

“I’m afraid it’s too late, Ferret!”

“Okay, guys, we got the teams, we got the code names, we apparently got also the walkie-talkies…” Miro recapped, snorting. “Now we must decide who’ll be the next victims.”

“Yep, can’t wait for it!” Lukas grinned, before realization hit him. “Wait a minute. We all know that the Captains always get the biggest room, so Philipp has to share it with two other guys. Who are they?”

“Benny and Mats…” Thomas replied.

“Alright! Sounds like we have the next target!” Bastian rejoiced, before frowning. “But… how are we supposed to find them?”

“Maybe we’d better ask a certain someone…” Miroslav smirked, drawing out his mobile phone and dialing a familiar number.

 

***************************** (In the meantime)

 

“Are you ready for the big surprise, baby?” Manuel grinned.

“I’m so eager I could jump on the bed, actually.” Philipp stroke back “Which wouldn’t be something wise, considering the fact I’m blindfolded…”

“Well, I always catch balloons with my big and shielding hands; I could catch you as well if you fell, in case you want to try…” The goalkeeper purred sensually in his ear.

Manu’s voice in the dark – actually it was pitch black for Philipp, because of the blindfold – could send such pleasant thrills down Philipp’s spine.

“Mm.. as tempting as it sounds and despite how I would love to fall into your strong and protective arms… we’ll try this another time, love.” The oldest replied. “C’mon, Manu, tear the bloody blindfold away from me!”

“As you wish, honey.” He obeyed. “Enjoy the precious gift of sight again.” He threw the strip of black satin he had used as blindfold on the floor, drawing out a big bag from under the bed, which he poured on the mattress.

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaanuuuuuuu!”

Philipp had utterly forgot his usual composure and demeanor of Captain and had jumped on his lover’s neck, squeezing him tight to his chest, as happy as a child.

“What my baby wants my baby gets.” Manuel proudly smirked, kissing him. “Although it wasn’t so easy to find them!”

The smallest observed ecstatic the tons of little cases of plastic coated paper that were scattered all over the sheets.

They could have tons of hours of fun and pleasure with such stuff.

“Can we start?” Philipp asked, excited, especially when Manuel nodded.

He was about to grab the first case, but his iPhone decided to start ringing just in that moment.

“Oh-oh, duty calls!” Manuel giggled. “Maybe Jogi has some extra work for his fave pet!”

“Jogi can bloody fuck off, it’s holiday for me, too, today!” The other snapped, searching for his iPhone that was buried under the cases. “And for the umpteenth fucking time, I’m _not_ his bloody pet!”

“Oh-oh, watch your language, Captain naughty-mouth!” The youngest made fun of him.

After all, pissed-off Philipp was rare to be seen - even more rarer was pissed-off Philipp wearing just Manuel's large T-shirt... and nothing else!-  and probably, if Manu’s iPhone wasn’t buried under the cases as well, he would have filmed the whole moment.

Philipp managed to find his mobile phone at the sixth ring.

“It’s not Jogi… it’s Miro!” He informed Manuel, before picking the call up.

"Hallo?"

“Hey, Phips!” The Pole greeted him.

“What? Are you planning another prank against me?” The German barked, suspicious.

“Nope, we’re done with you!” The other calmed him down.

“And in case you’re still wondering, Manu, no one touched your precious Nutella!” Thomas interfered.

“Good to know, kid!” Manu answered, since he had slid closer to Philipp in order to hear the conversation.

Sure, they could have used viva-voce, but Philipp preferred it to remain a private conversation.

“How did you know Manu was still here?” The Captain frowned, glaring at him because he wasn’t supposed to answer back.

“Call it sixth sense!” Thomas smirked.

“I knew Manu was there!” Lukas said from afar, giggling with Bastian, but Philipp had heard them.

“Whaaaaaaat? Miro? How many people are there with you?” The smallest asked, panic-stricken.

“Only the ones who already knew everything even before Thom and Miro, so relax, Phips!” Bastian sneaked in.

Probably those four were using viva-voce.

“Wassup, Manu took up residence in your room, Phips?” Thomas joked.

“Or maybe only in your bed?” Bastian sharply added.

It’s useless to say that poor Philipp ended up blushing like a tomato.

In the meantime, Manu was gesturing to Philipp to end that conversation soon.

The older used labial language to say ‘I still don’t know what they want!’

Manuel replied in the same way ‘Ask them, then!’

“Okay, so… may I know the reason of this call?” Philipp casually wondered.

“Sure. What about your roommates? Do you know where we can find them?” Miro asked him.

“Benny and Mats? Uh, they love jogging along the beach, so I bet they’re there… there’s an isolated beach not far from here, you know, without fans, paparazzi, no one around…” he informed them.

Manu decided that labial wasn’t enough anymore.

“C’mon, Phips, hang up, I can’t hold anymore!” He urged his boyfriend.

“Uh-uh, someone is eager there!” Miroslav chuckled.

“C’mon, Manu, be quiet, I’m almost done here!” Philipp pleaded.

Manu’s answer didn’t help.

“But I want to fill it all!”

“Me, too, just not now, okay?” His lover retorted.

“You have a passionate lover, don’t you, Philipp?” Miro observed amused.

“Wooow, cool down, guys!” Bastian made fun of them.

“Get yourselves a room! Oh… wait, you already did!” Thomas giggled.

It was only then that Philipp realized how the whole situation could be oh so horribly mistaken.

“Wait, what…”

But what Manuel said drew his attention.

“Suit yourself! I’m going to start without you!”

“Don’t you dare, dude, we must do it together!” Philipp imposed, almost growling.

Their teammates were giggling on the other side.

“Okay, coming back to what we were saying, I’m very lucky, because Mats and Benedikt always leave this room free. Sometimes they go jogging, sometimes they take a trip around the town… one night they didn’t even come back here, I don’t know where they have spent the night…”

All this precious info was insinuating a doubt in his listeners.

Well, save for Manuel, he seemed to have other priorities.

“We’re going to do it while you’re on the phone, then. Can you use your mouth?” He asked him.

“Geez, Manu, I’m on the phone, _speaking_. Do you really think I can use my mouth?” Philipp rolled his eyes. “Besides, I can’t use my hand, either!”

“What’s the problem? Use your free hand and put it into my mouth!” Manuel advised him, grabbing one of the cases and handing it to his mate.

On the other side there was an unintelligible jabber.

\- Oh no! – Phips recalled his previous fear.

“Eeeww, you two are perverted, ill people!” Lukas was the first to speak.

In the meantime, Philipp was bringing the case to Manuel who tore it open with his teeth, allowing him to examine his contents as well, just like Manuel had already did with his first case.

“You two want to do kinky stuff while you’re talking at the phone with us, Phips! Shame on both of you!” Bastian reproached them.

The Captain jolted and, finally, also Manuel seemed to realize the endless, ambiguous misinterpretation that that they were causing.

They both were staring at each other in shock.

“No, no, no, no, no…” Manuel started his mantra.

“No, wait; calm down, guys, it’s not what you think!” Philipp justified.

“Sure it’s not, it must be even worse!” Thomas retorted.

 “Yeah. We’ll call you back when you two find your decency again!” Miroslav hung up.  
   
Philipp and Manuel stared at the display of the iPhone speechless, for a while.

“Did they really think that we wanted to do… while I was at the phone?” Philipp babbled.

“Well, it’s true, we do a lot of kinky stuff.” Manuel recognized with a smirk. “But, geez, we have our limits! Besides, we need another kind of activities once in a while, don’t you think so?” He went on, opening another case.

“Sure we do. By the way, who have you got there?” Philipp asked him.

“Some guys from Camerun, Australia and Croazia, Pique, our Bayern teammate Robben and… your rival from Brazil, the Captain!” Manu answered, showing him the trading card of David Luiz.

“Ah, that’s funny! I got _your_ rival from Brazil, Julio Cesar, and then Lulic from Bosnia, which is also Miro’s teammate in Italy, two guys from Chile and Columbia and, that’s weird, other two goalkeepers: Buffon and Casillas!” Philipp revealed.

“You have a thing for goalkeepers, don’t you?” Manuel purred.

“Only for one.” The older crawled towards him, kissing him properly.

“But the most important thing is… no identical trading card, so far! We’re doing great!” The Captain exulted, parting from him.

“Yep, and we still have hundreds of cases to open!” The younger agreed. “Can I have some Nutella again, Phips?”

“No way! You would end up staining our pretty cards and album with your smeared hands!” Philipp protested.

“Okay, Mummy!” The other snorted. “Okay, let’s start attaching the cards!” He added, opening the  –  still immaculate – FIFA World Cup 2014 album.

“We won’t leave this room for a relevant amount of hours!” Philipp grinned, opening a couple of other paper cases.

“Yep, Phips, we won’t stop until we have this album utterly filled, no matter if I have to empty all the kiosks in town!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, no ice buckets/pranks in this chapter… will you forgive me anyway? *O*
> 
> Okay, before you call a psychologist (Someone should!) , here’s some notes to explain how this crazy/absurd/crack chapter was born:
> 
> \- Bastian with a camouflage battle dress must be too cool for words.  
> \- ‘Ferret’ fits Thomas so damn much. I agree with Miro, or rather I made ‘this’ Miro agree with me  
> \- The mental picture of Phips and Manu enjoying trading cards was so impossibly cute that I just had to make it happen, no matter what ;P
> 
> About next chapter (Sorry, I can’t assure it will be the last… ), well you got a hint of next pairing here, if I have to add another little spoiler, I can say… hints of Gotzeus ;P and much more to come!
> 
> Tell me, good or bad stuff - I even accept insults, lol - but let me know something, it helps me feel more motivated to go on :)  
> So, pleeeeease, don’t disappear, otherwise I'll be extra upset! :’(
> 
> Thanks for your time.


	4. IV: Over and out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are so many pranks to set in action and so many different ways to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heelllloooo,  
> thank you soooooo endlessly much for your lovely comments, but also for every kudos, bookmark or subscription, it means everything to me <3 I’m so happy to see you’re enjoying this story so much ^^
> 
> A special thank youuuu to Charlotte_z <3
> 
> Sorry for being so shamefully late.  
> Will you still remember this story? :/
> 
> I hope I’ll make you all forgive me with this looooong chapter full of (hopefully funny?) events ;)
> 
> Huge thanks to: Peter, the best beta I could ask for ^^

"So, guys, how do we organize?” Thomas wondered.  
  
“Well, in some way or another, Philipp told us where we can find those two.” Lukas grumbled, still a bit in shock, because off their goalkeeper and their Captain’s weird exuberance.  
  
“Well, since the idea of playing a prank to them is ours, I guess it’s fair if Luks and I deal with them.” Bastian suggested.  
  
“Okay, they’re your target, then. Miro and I will do a tour of the gym areas.” The youngest established.  
  
“You’d better bring a cooler box with you.” Miroslav advised them. “Ocean water wouldn’t be icy enough!”  
“Yep, don’t forget, ice is the core of the mission, my dears!” Thomas added, thrilled.  
  
“Like I had forgotten about that.” Bastian grumbled.  
  
 “We hadn't, so it’s up to you, now, you asked for them as your target. Just do a clean job!” Miro chuckled, giving a high five to Thomas. “Come with me, Müllie, let’s go find other victims!” He sneered.  
  
“Did you hear yourself? You seem like the boss of the Russian mafia popped out of a noir movie!” Thomas made fun of him. “But I like it. I must admit that this way of speaking you developed is a big turn on for me.” He whispered in his ear, before casting a lustful look at him.  
  
 “Uh, that’s a reason more to leave. We’ll keep in touch, guys!” Miro smiled, walking away from the gazebo with his boyfriend.  
 

“I don’t have even the slightest intention of bringing around a cooler box.” Lukas protested.  
“Neither do I!” Bastian struck back.  
  
“Now I figure out why those shrewd guys left that target to us without even battling an eyelid!” Lukas rolled his eyes.  
  
“Well, we could do something different.” Bastian suggested.  
“Such as?” The younger man raised his eyebrow, interrogatively.  
  
“We search for them, find them, approach them with caution and discretion, try not to disturb them much. Then we find a way to take them away from their natural habitat and we’ll take action only when we’re back here, where we have all the necessary stuff to proceed.” Bastian displayed his plan.  
  
“For what? To study their peculiar characteristics, and then we find a way to make them reproduce and safeguard their species?” Lukas made fun of him.  
The midfielder stared at him in confusion.  
  
“Geez, Basti, you seemed to have popped out of one of those Natural Geographic documentaries!” The Pole laughed.  
 “Oops, I guess you’re right. So what? Do you prefer the soldier slang?” Bastian smirked.  
  
“Yep, definitely!” Lukas stuck his tongue out at him.  
“Okay, so we find our target, bring them to neutral territory where we’ll be able to set our secret operation in action!” Bastian corrected himself.  
  
“Alright, this is a totally brilliant plan, my General!”  
“Thank you, warrant officer!”  
  
Lukas pouted.  
“What? Am I not even a lieutenant?”  
  
The German smirked.  
“Well, hun, I’m afraid you’ll have to learn your promotion.”  
“Oh, be sure, I’m going to earn it tonight!” Lukas winked sexily at him. “Now, let’s go! Phips said that the beach is not very far from here!”  
  
**************************** (In the meantime)  
  
“The gym should be three corridors from here.” Thomas mumbled, indicating the hotel map in the hall to Miro.  
“Right. And I assume there will be vending machines there, so we can take cold water from the machine.” The older suggested, caressing his chin.  
  
“I don’t know, I guess we should use ice as well. Let’s start taking the empty buckets to the gym area and then we’ll decide what to do.” Thomas retorted.  
“Geez, Thom, you’re so obsessed with ice!” Miroslav rolled his eyes.  
“Ice is the core of the mission!” Thomas pointed out.  
  
The Pole chuckled.  
“Now you remind me of Bastian, my little soldier!”  
“Well, he must be contagious. But, really, Miro, the point is that simple cold water wouldn’t be enough.” He pouted.  
  
“Okay, we’d better find a cooler box as well, then.” Miroslav gave in.  
Thomas beamed in delight.  
“Okay, let’s go to a store, there’s no time to waste!” He urged the Pole, with all the intentions to drag him towards the first available store nearby, but someone else crossed their way.  
  
“Müller, Klose.” Joachim greeted them with a mix of surprise and annoyance.  
“Mister.” The replied in unison, quietly.  
  
Silently, they both thanked their lucky stars because they weren’t holding the buckets at the moment.  
  
“I just hope you’re spending this free day in a rather productive way.” The oldest man stated.  
  
“Sure, we are!” Thomas assured with such an angelic smile that there would have been no wonder if a halo had popped out above his head.  
“As a matter of fact, we were heading to the gym area, in order to work out for a while.” Miroslav added, less angelic, but much more believable.  
  
“Oh, that’s remarkable.” The coach pretended to congratulate with them, but clearly he wasn’t buying that at all.  
  
“So, could we go to the gym, now?” Thomas politely asked.  
“Not so fast.” Joachim struck back. “You know, Miroslav, I can’t help noticing that you’re spending way too much time with such a distracting element like Thomas. I wouldn’t be glad if this had repercussion on your exemplar conduct.” He said calmly, but there was a plain threat in his tone.  
  
 “You’re right, but actually I…” Miroslav tried to find a quick excuse, but his lover was faster.  
“That’s my main purpose: only spending time with such a role model like Miro I can improve my own conduct.” He rushed to state.  
  
Another way too angelic attitude.  
  
The coach’s suspicions could only grow.  
  
“I just hope it’s not the reverse.” He grumbled.  
Hansi, who was with Joachim for the whole time, decided to speak in that moment, probably to break the tension among the other three men.  
  
“Hey, Miro, Jogi and I were discussing about yesterday match. We would love to have your insight about it, as well.” He smiled at the older player.  
“Yeah, Miro, why don’t you join us? There’s nothing better than analyzing matches in front of a refreshing cocktail and the hotel bar makes wonderful ones.” Joachim offered.  
  
Miroslav knew better; that could be disguised as a simple and kind suggestion, but it was undoubtedly a restrictive order.  
He turned to Thomas.  
“Well, you don’t mind, do you?” He asked him.  
  
\- Of course I bloody mind! This wasn’t supposed to happen; we should go to the gyms, make all the ice bucket pranks to the others, wreaking havoc… and possibly find an empty locker to have a quickie! -  
  
That would have been Thomas’ real, honest and rather disappointed answer, if only his mind hadn’t had precious filters.  
But lucky for him, it had.  
  
“Of course, I don’t mind, Miro. I’ll wait for you around here.” He shrugged, forcing himself to smirk.  
Miro understood his real feelings about it and nodded with comprehension, leaving with their coaches.  
  
Thomas snorted, displeased and bored.  
  
\- What can I do to kill time, now?-  
  
******************************** (In the meantime)  
  
“Where the hell is this fucking beach?” Bastian snapped, while they kept walking.  
  
“Well, Basti, Phips told us it was isolated, so it must not be so easy to reach.” Lukas figured out, while he climbed through a pretty steep and slippery hill.  
  
“Slow down, Poldi, I’m not a steinbock!” Bastian grumbled, while he tried to reach him, very carefully.  
“I told you not to wear flip-flops!” The Pole shrugged.  
  
 “I’ve never thought I would die here all alone, trapped on a hostile cliff!” The German whined, acting dramatically.  
“You’re always so exaggerating!” Lukas rolled his eyes, coming back and reaching his mate. “First of all, you’re not alone. You’ll never be.” He smiled at him, while he kisses him shortly, but deeply. “And, second, c’mon, lazy guy, this hill is much easier to climb than you think; hurry up!” he added, disappearing from his sight once again.  
  
 “Hey, Luks! Wait for me!” Bastian called out, jumping here and there, in order to reach his boyfriend.  
  
“You know, honey, you remind me more of a rabbit than of a tiger!” The younger stated.  
“Really? And why? Is it because of my agile way of climbing the hill?” The older bragged.  
  
 “Nope. It was because you were so damn scared!” Lukas chuckled. “But tender, too. Mein Hase.” He murmured, kissing the tip of his nose.  
“I like it.” Bastian smiled, before kissing him.  
  
There was a hedge with bushes that surround the beach that they had finally managed to reach.  
And Philipp had guessed right: Benedikt and Mats were there.  
  
“Huh, Luks, correct me if I’m wrong, but I was sure that people used to practice jogging one next to the other, not one _upon_ the other!” Bastian whispered to his lover, amused.  
  
“Right. And actually people who practice jogging wear more clothes!” The Pole struck back, giggling.  
  
As a matter of fact, Mats and Benedikt lied down on the beach, near the ocean, letting the water damp their feet.  
The brunet was resting on the blond’s chest and they both wore nothing but their boxers.  
 

“I can’t believe no one knows about this heavenly beach.” Benedikt murmured, caressing his boyfriend’s hair.  
“Well, that’s better for us, we can take all the advantages!” Mats purred, kissing him good and proper.  
  
“And I can’t believe that Phips is so naïve; I mean, this will be at least the tenth time we go jogging since we’ve been here.” Benedikt chuckled.  
“Well, but it’s just the truth: we are two guys who love physical activity very, very much!” Mats replied, making the other smile.  
  
The blond cupped the brunet’s face.  
“Sure we do, especially when we get horizontal, baby!” He winked at his partner, kissing him again, while the brunet caressed his chest.  
  
  
“Oh, Mein Gott, Luks! This is such a hot scoop!” Bastian whispered to his boyfriend, thrilled.  
“Yep, but we’d better start before those two… get horizontal for real!” The Pole suggested, a little embarrassed.  
  
“You’re right, but first we have to inform the others.” The German practically ordered, walking near the edge of the cliff to be sure not to be heard by the couple.  
He proudly drew out his walkie talkie, testing if those toys could work properly.  
  
And, surprisingly, they did.  
  
“Tiger to Ferret, can you hear me? Over.”  
  
Silence from the other side.  
  
“Ferret?” Bastian tried again. “Over.”  
  
There was a confused noise and a scratching sounds, as if the one holding the other walkie talkie was messing around with it.  
Then, finally, the answer came.  
  
“Hey you, Tiger and Dolphin, I hear you, but I guess you must wait for me to get Eagle back. Over.” Thomas babbled, sort of awkwardly, but perfectly respecting the walkie talkie slang.  
  
“Why, where’s Eagle?” Lukas asked.  
  
Bastian was glaring at him and then the Pole realized what he wanted.  
“Over.” He added, rolling his eyes.  
  
“Eagle is trapped in Löw’s clutches. I’m going to set him free. Just give me five minutes. Over and out.” The youngest ended the conversation and turned the walkie talkie off.  
  
“So what can we do in the meantime?” Lukas wondered.  
  
“Well, let’s just hope that the lovey-dovey down there will go on with the making out session for long, without already jumping to … the big final!” Bastian grumbled.  
“You know what, Basti? At least now we know that they wouldn’t be so contrary to the project of make them reproduce!” Lukas giggled, making his lover laugh as well.  
  
********************************  
  
\- Lucky for me, there’s plenty of Brazilian people here, so no one heard me saying those stupid sentences! – Thomas mused, leaving the Hall and heading towards the bar where he knew Miro was still in.  
  
He managed to place himself in order to make only Miroslav see him, while Joachim and Hansi had their back turned to him.  
  
It didn’t take long for Miro to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend and the younger gestured to the older to reach him as soon as possible.  
  
“Well, this was a very productive and interesting discussion, but now I really have to go working out, if you don’t mind.” Miro said, getting up and leaving the table, while his interlocutors confined themselves just to nodding.  
  
Shrewdly, Thomas had already walked away from the bar, not to be seen by his coach and vice-coach.  
Miroslav reached him.  
  
“Sorry, hun, but, you know, I had no chance to refuse…” The Pole justified.  
  
“Yeah I know. However, how can it be that when I ask you to talk about a match, you settle the matter in a bunch of poor seconds; but with them you can go on and on for more than fifteen bloody minutes?” Thomas grumbled, a little bothered.  
  
“Well, because, you know, Jogi and Hansi manage to make deeper analyses than ‘Wooaah! How cool! We kicked those motherfuckers’ asses!’” Miro struck back, trying to imitate his lover’s voice and typical attitude.  
  
In order to improve the effect, he closed his hands in fists and bent his arms, pushing the elbows forward and behind.  
  
“I never do that!” Thomas muttered, denying the evidence.  
“Sure, like you never jump on the bed when you do that!” Miroslav retorted.  
“The jump is the funniest part!” The younger betrayed himself.  
  
“So, what did you do while you were waiting for me?” The Pole asked.  
“Well, firstly, I provided a cooler box, then I’ve already set everything close to the gym areas.” The German explained proudly. “And then I came back to the hall, reading a magazine to make an impression.”  
  
“Did you read a _Portuguese_ magazine?” Miroslav made him notice, amused.  
  
“Oh, well, I’ve just watched the pictures!” Thomas admitted, rolling his eyes.  
  
“Well done, my boy. Now we can go to the gym.”  
“Yep, but first there’s Basti who has something to tell us, come with me.” Thomas informed him, dragging him to a more isolated corner.  
  
Only when he was sure that no one was coming around, he drew the walkie talkie out from his pocket.  
  
“Ferret here, Tiger. I got Eagle back, now you can speak. Over.”  
  
“The deer and the gazelle are jumping the same moat. Over.”  
  
“What?!” Miro and Thomas asked in unison. “Over.” Thomas rushed to add.  
  
“The vulture and the condor are flying in the same sky.” Bastian gave it another try. “Over.”  
  
“Tiger, confess, are you drunk or something?” Miroslav questioned him. “Over.”  
  
“Oh, for Jesus’ sake! This way it’s going to take until midnight before they understood!” Lukas muttered, snatching the walkie talkie from his mate’s hand. “Benny and Mats are shagging like rabbits! Over.” He made things a lot clearer.  
  
“Lukas! You screwed the spirit of the mission up!” Bastian hissed and Miroslav and Thomas could easily hear him.  
  
“Well, at least they got the point!” Lukas shrugged.  
  
“Waaaaaaah!” Thomas exclaimed, while Miro chuckled. “That’s a bloody hot point! So… are they really shagging… right now?” He grew curios. “Over.”  
  
“Well. Nope, but if we keep waiting they will eventually end up doing that. Over.” Lukas replied  
  
“So what are you waiting for? Hit them, before things get too… awkward.” Miroslav spurred them. “Over.”  
  
“You’re right. We just thought that it was nice to inform you before acting. Over.” Bastian retorted.  
  
“Yep, Tiger, thank you so much; my life is a lot better now that you filled my mind with the pictures of Benny and Mats fucking each other like there’s no tomorrow!” Miro snapped. “Over!”  
  
“Okay, Dolphin, Tiger, you’ve just informed us. Now do your duty and don’t fail. Over and out.” Thomas closed the conversation.  
  
“So, they’re getting to see Mats and Benny having fun.” Thomas recapped. “You know what? Sounds like we have chosen the wrong target.” He pouted.  
“What?” Miroslav jolted, surprised. “Hey, Müllie, I didn’t know that you had such a voyeur side.” He observed, more intrigued than everything else.  
  
“Well, I’m a just curious, that’s it. I don’t know, the thought of those two together sort of turns me on. They must make such a hot match!” The younger admitted.  
“More than us?” Miro questioned him, in pure disbelief.  
“They wish!” Thomas struck back, giving a peck on his lips and making the other smile. “Okay, now we should concentrate on the rest of Die Mannschaft. I checked before and if nothing has changed, Sami and Mesut were doing stationary bike, or rather Sami was busy singing a Craig David song at the top of his lungs, while Mesut was mucking around with his iPhone.” Thomas made his listener smile. “Erik and Chris were stretching out and that’s all. I guess that all the others chose a funnier way to spend this day.” He went on, while they entered the gym area.  
  
****************** (In the meantime)  
  
“So what do we do now?” Bastian wondered.  
  
An idea flashed in Lukas’ mind and he smirked, enlightened.  
  
“Honey, think about it: we know something that Benny and Mats don’t know. Let’s take advantage of this weapon.” He sneered, right before whispering his plan to his boyfriend, who gladly approved.  
  
Lukas crossed the bushes, pretending to casually meet the other two.  
  
“Oh, Mein Gott! Benny, Mats! What the hell are you doing?” He commenced, acting utterly shocked.  
  
The two clandestine lovers jolted and instantly parted from each other.  
  
“Wait, Lukas, it’s not what you think it is!” Benedikt uselessly protested, while Mats was just too panic-stricken to utter a single word.  
  
“Oh, really? So what? Were you giving some gay sexual education lessons to an invisible crowd?” Bastian sardonically gave them a hard time, reaching his mate.  
  
Benedikt stared at the ground, blushing defeated.  
  
“There’s no need to be ashamed. Love between guys is always something awesome; Basti and I are the living proof!” Lukas giggled, giving a noisy kiss on Bastian’s cheek.  
  
“But… that’s bloody different; even the walls know that you’re together, while… no one suspected about us… until know.” Benedikt retorted.  
  
“Maybe they didn’t, but now we saw you and this is such a succulent scoop. Can’t wait to let everyone know!” Bastian sneered.  
  
“No, please, don’t!” Mats pleaded, terrified, while he and Benedikt were putting their clothes on again.  
  
“I can’t even bring myself to think what happened if Löw knew.” Benedikt babbled, scared.  
  
“But mostly, if Philipp finds out about us, he won’t allow us to leave the bedroom anymore!” Mats added, worried.  
  
Bastian and Lukas exchanged an understanding look.  
  
“Oh, trust us, this is for sure the last thing that our dear Captain wants to happen!” Bastian stated, with a halo of mystery.  
  
But Mats and Benedikt were too agitated to even try to figure out what he was hinting to.  
  
“Well, guys, if you don’t want anyone to know, I’m sure that we can find a reasonable agreement.” Lukas turned to them, smirking.  
Mats snorted.  
  
“Okay, how much do you want to buy your silence?” He questioned the older players.  
“Oh, please, you’re insulting us this way. It’s not money what we’re asking for.” Bastian informed him.  
  
“What do you want, then?” Benedikt glared at them.  
“We want a bravery test from you.” The older revealed.  
  
The two younger ones stared at the other two dumbfounded.  
  
“Now just follow us, and then we’ll tell you what to do.” The Pole exhorted them.  
  
His plan was working brilliantly.  
  
“Wait. Will this really make you keep your mouth shut about what you saw before?” Mats asked for confirmation.  
“Yep, it absolutely will.” Bastian guaranteed.  
  
“Alright. Let’s go.” Benedikt nodded, while Lukas and Bastian lead the way.  
  
“See? Target has been brought to neutral territory, my General.” Lukas whispered in Bastian’s ear.  
“Okay, my warrant officer, I guess that after that you can be upgraded to lieutenant!” Bastian smirked back, in the same way.  
  
Lukas turned to their soon to be victims.  
  
“So, lovey-dovey, what about telling us how everything started?” He grew curious.  
“Shut up and just walk!” was Benedikt’s rather annoyed reaction.  
  
“You’re not in a corner of confidence mood, huh?” Bastian giggled.  
“At least you must satisfy this curiosity of mine: is this the place where you spent that night that you didn’t come back to your room to sleep?” Lukas questioned them.  
  
The younger players stared at him dumbfounded.  
  
“But… how do you know about that?” Mats babbled, frowning.  
“Did you two stalk us or something?” Benedikt accused them, aggressively.  
  
“Let’s say that a little bird told us…” Bastian replied vaguely.  
“And little is the most fitting word!” Lukas giggled.  
  
Poor Benedikt and Mats were as clueless as ever.  
  
“Well, I assume we were right, did you hide here, didn’t you?” Bastian insisted.  
“Well, yeah, let’s say that this used to be our secret place…” Mats started.  
“Before you nosey parker found out!” Benedikt concluded.  
  
“Schweini, what about coming back here tonight?” Lukas whispered to his lover, while they all were leaving the hill “I have the feeling that those two won’t come back here so soon and this beach sounds so quiet and peaceful…” he pleaded.  
“That’s it, hun, we’re going to have wonderful sex under the stars tonight!” The older whispered back at him.  
 

“Here we go!” Lukas stated, once they were back at the hotel once again.  
He and Bastian had taken Benedikt and Mats to the first available bathroom and Bastian was preparing the ice buckets.  
  
“So, tell us, what do we have to do?” Mats wondered, oblivious.  
“It’s very simple.” Bastian answered, coming back to them, while he held the buckets. “Just face this little freezing shower and then we’ll be done.”  
“What? Is that all? Why?” Benedikt asked, with utter diffidence.  
“You heard us. Yes. Just because.” Lukas replied synthetically to every of his questions.  
  
“Well, guys, if you prefer something more dreadful, like… I don’t know, a bucket full of spiders and worms, we can settle for it.” Bastian suggested, smirking.  
Of course, it was a bluff.  
Mats and Benny’s faces lost several shade of complexion.  
“Hairy spiders with those horrible hairy legs?” Mats babbled, terrified.  
“Worms… crawling and slimy worms?” Benedikt shivered in fear.  
  
“Icy water will be fine!” Mats spoke for both of them.  
“Yeah, come on! Do your best… or your worst.” Benedikt urged them.  
The more Lukas and Bastian got closer, the more Benny and Mats hugged each other.  
  
“Don’t worry, honey, I’ll protect you from the cold, it won’t last long.” The brunet murmured to the blond, making his body a shield for him.  
“No way, baby, you’re the younger, you need more protection!” Benedikt retorted, covering the brunet with his arms and shoulders.  
“Oh, please, stop it; you’re going to make me puke!” Lukas rolled his eyes, disgusted.  
  
“Yeah, stop acting like scared ladies and face the matter like two real men. Part from each other and get ready for the bucketful!” Bastian instructed them.  
Reluctantly, Mats and Benedikt obeyed.  
  
“On the count of three.” Lukas decided with Bastian and their victims nodded.  
The older guys brought the buckets on their heads.  
“One…”  
They started to incline them, slowly, like ever proper torture must be.  
“Two…”  
Splash.  
  
“Aaaaaaaarghhhh! That’s s-so un-unfair!” Benny whimpered, shattering his teeth, because he was completely drenched.  
“Heeeeeeeeeeeey! You… you said at the count of th-three!” Mats growled, soaked to the bone, as well.  
  
“Yeah, we know, but truth is that you would have never been truly ready for ‘three’.” Bastian justified.  
“Damn right. So, in a certain sense, we made you a favor!” Lukas smirked.  
  
 “Ye-ah, you have no idea how grateful we are!” Benedikt barked, trying to recovering from the cold.  
“Oh, c’mon, it’s nothing you can fix with a warm shower.” Lukas shrugged.  
  
“Well, if you manage to find your bedroom, free, but I don’t think so!” Bastian chuckled, leaving with Bastian and leaving the other two trembling and confused.  
“Poor guys, at least we could have allowed them to use our room!” Lukas said, feeling a bit guilty.  
  
“Naaah, why? I’m sure they’ll find tons of available showers around the hotel. And if they don’t … there’s always that oh so classical and funniest way to heat each other up!” Bastian smirked, making his boyfriend laugh.  
  
“So, Basti, who’s our next target?” Lukas questioned him.  
“You know what, Poldi? I’m thinking big…”  
  
**************************************  
  
“Lucky for us, the stationary bike room and the push-up room are distant and acoustically isolated.” Miroslav observed, after visiting them.  
“Yep, this means two easy pranks without anyone noticing anything!” Thomas grinned. “So, where do we start from?” He asked, before the door behind them opened and Mario showed up.  
  
He walked over them and entered in the weight room.  
“What about from him?” Miroslav suggested.  
  
“Mario? I don’t know, hun. He already looks so unhappy and nostalgic… I don’t want to make him feel even worse.” The younger debated.  
“That’s the point. We’re adding him to the prank list in order to make him feel less alone and take his mind away from his melancholic thoughts for a while.” Miroslav made him notice.  
“You’re right. I hadn’t considered it from that perspective.” Thomas replied.  
 “Okay, that’s the room at the bottom of the corridor; no one should hear us once we’re inside it.” Miroslav stated. “Let’s go preparing the ice bucket.”  
 

“Hey, Miroslav, do you want to work out a little as well?” Mario greeted him, seeing him coming in, while he was busy lifting a load behind his back.  
“Err.. nope, not exactly, kid.” Miroslav answered, before gesturing to Thomas that the way was clear.  
  
Thomas rushed inside the room, holding the bucket.  
Miroslav locked the door and Thomas didn’t even give Mario the time to abandon the seat and flooded him with the icy water.  
  
“AAAARRRRRGGGHH!! Thomas! You’re a damn son of a gun!” Mario snapped, trying to get up and get his clutches on the Bavarian, but Miro held the youngest firm. “And, Miroslav, you’re even helping him. I’d have never expected such a thing from you!” He blamed the oldest, breaking free only in order to squeeze his drenched T-shirt and shorts.  
  
“I know, kid, no one expects that; it’s the Leitmotiv of the day!” The Pole giggled.  
 “And just because you didn’t expect it it’s even more fun!” Thomas proudly declared, while Miroslav handed a clean towel to their victim.  
  
Mario wrapped himself inside the towel, enjoying the warm sensation.  
  
“You know, guys, Marco used to play such stupid pranks at me!” He sighed, becoming a little upset.  
  
Everyone in the National team knew what was going on through Mario and Marco and the two guys knew as well that everyone was aware; so there was no need to treat that as a secret, no one would make a fuss about it.  
  
“No, no, Mario, this wasn’t supposed to happen, quite the contrary, Miro and I did that to cheer you up a little bit.” Thomas retorted, approaching him. “I’m so sorry if it didn’t work.” He sincerely apologized and Miro nodded.  
  
Mario sighed again.  
  
“Marco used to apologize after his awful jokes.”  
  
Things were getting worse and worse.  
  
“Hey, you know what, Mario? Thomas and I have other jokes to set. Would you like to join us and turn all the other’s lives into a living hell?” Miroslav offered, smirking.  
Deep inside, Thomas was disappointed by that, he craved to have Miro only for himself, especially in such a day dedicated to a not-Miro’s-usual-thing; but he perfectly understood while the Pole was doing that and smiled in response.  
  
But also Mario had figured out the real reason.  
  
“Thanks, guys, but, guess what? After acting like a fool, Marco always tried to make things right as well…” He revealed, while his eyes were getting teary.  
  
Thomas Müller was known to be a short-tempered guy and he was about to prove it once again.  
He had already been way too patient for his standards.  
  
“Mario, fuck you!” He snapped.  
Miroslav glared at him, but Mario had a total different kind of reaction.  
“Marco always fucked me!” He burst out crying desperately.  
  
“Listen, kid, you keep talking about Marco as if he didn’t belong to this world anymore, but he still does, he has just an injury, he’ll recover and you will play again tons of matches together! Probably even next World Cup!” Miroslav comforted him, sitting close to him, just avoiding the wet spots.  
  
“Well, not this one!” Mario sniffed, trying to put back together.  
“I know, but you must be strong, both for yourself and Marco.” Thomas suggested him, much calmer.  
  
“It’s not so easy, I feel so misplaced here, probably it would have been better if Löw hadn’t called me…” Mario babbled, on the edge of another breakdown.  
“Don’t you dare say that anymore! Jogi knows what he’s doing. He utterly trusts you as I do. Mario, believe me, I have the feeling that you’ll make the difference in a very important match!” Miroslav said and, nope, he wasn’t just trying to cheer him up, he truly believed in his speech.  
  
“Thanks, Miro, I feel a lot better know. Probably I needed both this prank and this speech.” Mario smiled, leaving the room not to risk to get a cold.  
  
“So? Don’t I make the difference?” Thomas pouted, feeling neglected.  
Miro caressed his curly hair, showing him the sweetest smile.  
“Always, baby, both on field and in every day you spend with me: you make it better.” He murmured.  
  
Thomas hugged and kissed him. They were already lying down on the bench, despite the water on it, Thomas was on top and he was about to get rid of Miro’s T-shirt, encouraged by the Pole’s moans.  
But before things got too hot to resist, they both reminded themselves that there was still some work to do.  
A bit unwillingly, Thomas got up from Miro and Miro got up from the bench.  
  
“Okay, less sappiness and more action. I get to choose now, let’s go to Erik and Christoph!” Thomas established, heading to their room.  
  
When they arrived, the first thing they noticed even from afar was that the door had been imprudently left ajar.  
And what Miroslav and Thomas saw through that made them both goggle.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. what Erik and Christoph will be doing? ;P 
> 
> You’ll find out next time… along with so much more stuff. Really, this story is getting longer and longer against my own will.. it seems that the characters here do just what they want XD 
> 
> Hope you won’t mind.
> 
> If I made you smile at least once, my job is done ^^  
> And if you want to make me smile as well, take your time –even a bunch of seconds – to let me know something :)
> 
> thanks for reading <3


	5. V I: Unsuspected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miro and Thom take adavantage of newcomers' naivety and Bastian is setting up up a raid, with Lukas' help ...and a little jealousy sneaks in both situations :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heelllooooo,  
> I should hide for the shame, I’m impossibly late with this, I’m so sorry, it’s just my fault, I work on too many things at once ! :/
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments/Kudos/Subscriptions, you’re soooo kind <3
> 
> Well, actually this was supposed to be a loooonger chapter (over 6000 words), but it would have taken me way too much time to write it all, so, for once, I decided to split it in two, hope you won’t mind.  
> After all, I guess that each half is long enough … I’m afraid that reading the whole chapter all at once would be too boring/tiring :/
> 
>  
> 
> However, here we go, hope you’ll have fun reading it ^^
> 
> In case you’re wondering, yes, it’s full of crazy craziness even this time XD

Erik and Christoph were busy working out, indeed, but they seemed to have found a very peculiar way to do that.  
 Erik was straddling Christoph while he was flexing, so whenever the older managed to lift his back from the floor with his hands locked behind his nape the younger was ready to reward him with a kiss.

“See, baby? I told you that I would have found a way to make working out more enjoyable!” Erik chuckled, waiting for him to lay down and raise up again.  
“I wish we could practise this way even on field, with the others, before training!” Christoph replied, making another push-up, before taking a break.  
   
 “You know what, Miro? Out of the blue I realize that my abs need some work-out, too. Would you mind helping me with that?” Thomas whispered to his boyfriend, being careful not to draw the younger players’ attention.  
But to be honest, Chris and Erik seemed to mind at nothing else but each other, lost in the umpteenth kiss, this time a longer and deeper one.  
“I’d like to, maybe we can do some training later. We still have some work to do right now.” Miroslav reminded to him in a whisper. “Let’s leave these cute lovey-dovey alone for now.” He added, walking away with discretion, followed by his partner.

“Stakhanovite!” Thomas playfully addressed to him. “So what do you suggest to do?”  
“What Basti and Luks did with us before. First we let them know about what we found out and then we act.” Miroslav explained. “Draw the walkie-talkie out; after all I guess that Erik and Chris will be busy for quite some time.” He smirked and Thomas obeyed.

“Ferret to Tiger, do you hear me? Over.”  
The reply didn’t take long to arrive.  
“I hear you loud and clear. Over.” Basti stated, while in the background Miro and Thomas could hear some noises, like water flowing.

“What are you and Dolphin doing? Over.” Thomas questioned them.  
“We are setting things up for a raid!” Bastian proudly stated. “What did you call us for? Over.”

“We’re adding victims to our mission!” Thomas fiercely asserted. “Over.”  
“Okay, tell me who they are without actually naming them.” Bastian instructed them. “Over.”  
“What?!” Thomas asked, so confused that Miroslav added ‘Over’ for him.  
“Tiger here is practically saying that he wants you to use figurative speaking to allude to the team mates in question.” Lukas clarified. “And I want that as well. Do your best. Over.”

“Huh? Okay, let’s see what I can do. First, Eagle and I met the Sun who was missing his Sky so, so badly… Over.” Thomas made a first attempt and it worked.  
“Awww, poor Mario!” Lukas sighed.  
“Yep, there’s no day that that poor guy spent without mourning after his Marco.” Bastian softened as well.  
“Wait a minute, does it mean that you two hit him with an ice bucket, regardless of his misery? You’re awful! Over!” Lukas accused them.  
“Well, I know it’s hard to believe, but at the very end Mario sort of thanked us for that.” Thomas tried to justify. “But mostly it was Eagle’s idea, I didn’t want to agree in the first place!” He added for good measures.  
“Well, not only you did then, but you even enjoyed it a lot!” Miro retorted. “Over.”

“Whatever. Who’s next? Over.” Bastian wondered.  
“Well we still have to hit them, but…” Thomas wavered.  
“Who?” Bastian insisted.

“Geez, how am I supposed to say that?” Thomas scratched his temple, frustrated, before Miro rushed to help, sort of enlightened, whispering the solution in his ear.  
“What the hell? It doesn’t make any sense!” Thomas protested, frowning.  
“It does. Trust me.” The Pole insisted.  
“We’re still waiting here. Over.” Bastian urged them.

“Okay. Two… No, wait, Eagle, how was that?”  The German turned to his boyfriend who whispered the sentence to him once more.  
“With twenty-three colours, on fifteen canvases, two painters are painting the same pictures. Over.” Thomas babbled in utter disbelief.

Bastian and Lukas jolted in surprise.

“Chris and Erik?! _Mein Gott_!” Bastian exclaimed.  
“I can’t believe it. Are they a couple? Really? They were so unsuspected!” Lukas commented, in awe.  
“Well, maybe not enough.” Bastian chuckled, before turning to the others. “Geez, guys, this is such a scoop! Over.”

“What?! Does it mean that you actually understood what it meant? Just how? Over.” Thomas frowned.  
“Told you so.” Miroslav singsonged, visibly pleased.  
“Does it mean that you didn’t get it? But it’s you who told us! Over.” Lukas protested.  
“Nope, it’s Eagle’s suggestion, I was only his spokesperson. Over.” Thomas admitted.

“A spokesperson who doesn’t emerge for his smartness! Over.” Bastian made fun of him.  
“Hey!” Thomas snapped, insulted.  
“Well, I like him the way he is. Over.” Miro asserted, before kissing his boyfriend and calm him down.

“So, what’s the raid that you mentioned before? Over.” Miro asked curios, once he parted from Thomas.  
“All at once. That’s all I can say. Over,.” Bastian grinned.  
“Cool! Sounds so shrewd. I’d like to see you two in action. Over.” Thomas said.

“Well, you are in the Gym area and we’re heading far away from that, I don’t think you’ll have a chance to see that..” Bastian explained. “Besides, you’re busy with the brand new lovey-doveys now. Are you going to rush in the room and soak them to the bone? Over.”  
“You know what? Maybe we won’t need the surprise effect this time. Over.” Miroslav replied, winking at Thomas.

His mind was thinking up a plan and he couldn’t wait to share it with his soulmate.  
“Oooh, Klosie, you are planning something, aren’t you?” Thomas figured out, intrigued.  
“Maybe.” The older smirked.

“What? We want to know, too!” Lukas protested. “Over.”  
“Later guys. Now we gotta go. Over and out.” Miro greeted them, ending the conversation.  
   
“Tell me, tell me, tell me!” Thomas insistently urged him, as eager as a child.  
“Well, it’s simple. Since Chris and Erik are new in the team, we could take a little advantage of that.” The Pole smirked, before revealing everything to the young German.  
“It’s brilliant, can’t wait to do that!” He approved excitedly.  
“Okay, but let me speak to them first and try to play my same game.” The older instructed him, while they silently headed back to the push-up room.

As they expected, not only the door was still half closed, but the people inside were still busy kissing and climbing each other, with their hands already under each other’s T-shirt.

Miro slammed the door open and rushed in.

“Oh, dear gosh, what’s going on here?” He wondered,  acting shocked.  
“Geez, Erik, Christoph!” Thomas followed him, with the same awe.

“Shit!” Erik jolted.  
“Fuck!” Christoph echoed his boyfriend, parting from him.

“Mind your language, kids!” Thomas had fun pretending to reproach them, who stared at him woefully.

“Well, guys, don’t you even dare to deny what we’ve just seen, because it’s not very deniable.” Miroslav commented.  
“We know, but…” Erik babbled, still looking like a deer in the headlights.  
“Please, don’t tell anything to the others about... well ... this.” Christoph pleaded, more cool-headed.

“Others like… the Captain?” Thomas teased them.  
“I was mainly thinking about Löw or Flick, but even Philipp is a scary eventuality…” Christoph mumbled.  
“Oh my, not Philipp, please! He would never ever let us play again, not even in a friendly match against the least dreadful of the National teams!” Erik whimpered, panic-stricken, while Christoph hugged his boyfriend in order to comfort him.  
“Yeah, that’s for sure, he wouldn’t be happy at all hearing about such a thing happening in his oh so virtuous team.” Miroslav asserted so seriously that he sounded extremely convincing.

“It won’t happen again, we promise!” Christoph swore.  
“Wait, what does it mean it won’t happen anymore? Are you breaking up with me?” Erik asked him, even more terrified than before.  
“Of course I’m not, sweetie, never. I just meant … not in public with the team!” The Borussia Mönchengladbach player reassured him, patting his shoulder.  
“Okay, then.” The Borussia Dortmund player nodded. “Yes, we promise, but, please, don’t tell him!” He begged Miroslav and Thomas his way.  
   
“If only they knew that right now our so virtuous Captain is doing stuff with our dear goalkeeper that compared to that it makes Kama-Sutra seem like a book for kids!” Thomas whispered to Miro and the Pole made a huge effort not to burst out laughing.  
   
“Guys, I guess it’s time you know about what we call ‘ The Rule’.” Miroslav commenced.  
“What’s the rule?” Erik frowned.  
“Whenever some players are caught up doing some… inconvenient stuff, they can win the silence of the one who discovered them, by facing a sort of trial. This is the Rule.” Miro explained.

“Is it a physical trial?” Christoph wondered.  
“Well, yeah, sort of.” Miroslav shrugged, not understanding why they both looked so scared.

“Isn’t it anything dealing with cuts, right?” Erik questioned, agitated.  
“Or burns? I hate them as well!” Christoph asked, paling only at the thought.

Thomas burst out laughing.

 “Please, guys, calm down! Nothing like that will happen. We’re not Emo and we’re not in Hunger Games, either!” He pointed out.  
“Even though I would always volunteer to be your tribute.” Erik managed to whisper into Christoph's ear without either of the senior players noticing.   
“What?” Miroslav wondered puzzled, staring dumbfounded at everyone, as they were talking gibberish.

“Never mind, Opa, I guess that that is way too futuristic language for you!” Thomas chuckled, shrugging. “Coming back to the trial, boys, don’t worry. It’s nothing so hard to face. You must trust us.”  
“I don’t trust you one bit. To begin with, why have I never heard about this so called Rule so far?” Christoph barked at them.

 Miroslav hadn’t thought about that detail, but Thomas was ready to answer.  
“Of course you haven’t. The Rule is secret and no one who has been through this stuff can reveal that to anyone, unless they have to use it against someone else. This has been going on for generations” He invented at the moment, resulting very believable.

“And now it’s happening once more with the two of you.” Miroslav remindend them, admiring Thomas’ brilliant gimmick.  
“So if you are caught revealing it to someone in the team the punishment would be so terrible that I can’t even bring myself to name it.  It’s far much worse than cuts and burns!” Thomas added with the purpose of scaring the hell out of his young listeners.

“Okay, we won’t tell anything. Never ever!” Erik swore.  
“And we will face whatever we have to face. Go on with that.” Christoph urged them.  
“Okay. Wait for us here. Eyes closed.” Thomas instructed them.  
“Be right back.” Miro informed them, walking away with Thomas.  
   
“The Rule? How did you come up with such a thing?” Thomas asked his partner, while they were making their ice buckets.  
“I don’t know, I got inspired by that American fraternity stuff and shit like that!” Miro chuckled. “But you were a genius saying it was a secret issue, with the terrible punishment and everything!” He congratulated him.  
   
When they were back to the push-up rooms, Erik and Chris were still standing still, with their eyes closed.

“We are back. It’s trial time.” Thomas announced.  
“Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.” Miroslav informed them, while they were both ready to raise the buckets.  
“Wait!” Erik said, without opening his eyes. “Can we at least hold our hands?” He pleaded.  
“Granted, kids.” Miro chuckled, waiting for them to hold their hands.  
“Okay, now we’re ready!” Christoph confirmed, a second before an icy shower submerged them.  
   
“WOOOOOAH! It’s freezing like hell!” Christoph whined, opening his eyes just to glare at his torturers.  
“Act- tually He-hell is sup-posed to b-be anyt-hing but freezing!” Erik corrected him, shivering and stuttering.  
“Whatever.. it’s horrible anyway!” His boyfriend retorted.  
“C’mon, guys, look at the positive side of the situation. It’s over. And your secret is safe!” Thomas pointed out.  
“Yep, you bought our silence. Now go warm yourselves up and change clothes, before you get a cold, we don’t want anyone missing on Tuesday match!” Miroslav stated and the kids followed that wise advice, leaving the room.  
   
“Newcomers are just so much fun!” Thomas giggled, once they were alone.  
“Yeah, words coming from the _old_ player!” Miroslav rolled his eyes.  
“Well, most of all I’m glad because finally now I know that Erik has a love interest inside the team. I’ve always thought that he wandered around you way too much for my liking!” The younger confessed.

“You are not jealous, are you?” Miroslav chuckled.  
“Oh, well, he’s younger than me and you have the tendency of seducing kids…” Thomas pretended to complain.  
“Shut up! You have been my first, unique and last case. And you always will.” Miroslav declared, hugging him from behind.  
“That’s what I like to hear!” Thomas smirked, satisfied, throwing his head back in order to kiss his mate.

“Miro?” Thomas called him, when they parted.  
“Yes?”  
“Is it because they both like painting for hobby?” The younger asked. “I just didn’t know that, how do you and the others know?”  
“Honey, what are you babbling about?” Miroslav questioned him, sort of concerned.

“The figurative sentence you used before! How can it be related to Erik and Chris? Why was it so obvious to anyone but me? And what about the colours and the canvases?” Thomas pointed out, losing his patience.  
“Oh dear, you’re still thinking about that!” The Pole rolled his eyes. “Well, let me give you a hint, the solution is just in the numbers of the colours and the canvases. Think about it.” He winked at him, but Thomas just looked even more confused than before.

“Okay, think about it later. Now we have only Sami and Mesut missing on our list. We’ll have to resort to the surprise effect once more.” Miroslav reminded to him, also because he needed to change topic. “Are you ready?”  
“I’m always ready, honey!” The Bavarian grinned. “I’m just wondering what Poldi and Schweini are up to… “

************************* (In the meantime )  
   
“Another water balloon is ready!” Lukas informed Bastian, placing the umpteenth balloon in a bowl filled with ice cubes; just like his boyfriend were doing at the other washbasin.  
“Alright, we need at least forty ones of them, so we can throw some of them again in case we miss our goal.” The German said, knotting his filled balloon, after putting in it little pieces of ice.

“Well, it’s not a real and proper ice bucket prank but I hope that Miro and Thom will be fine with that.” Lukas said.  
“My idea is just too brilliant not to be fine with that!” The blond bragged, passing a hand though his own hair. “Well, keep on filling balloons; I’ll go searching for another thing in the meantime.” He informed his boyfriend, before leaving the bathroom where they were hiding inside.  
“Wait, where are you going?” Lukas called for him, but it was too late. “Damn him, why does he never tell me things before doing stuff?” He muttered out loud, while he kept filling balloons with water and ice.  
   
Bastian was back after about ten minutes.  
“What did you disappear for?” The Pole questioned him, sort of bothered.  
He just hated whenever Bastian acted without consulting him first.

“Well, I had to pick these things to keep the balloons icy once we place them in our rucksack.” The German replied, showing him some chemical ice plastic packs. “We’ll put them in the frigo bar until the X hour.” He explained.  
“Nice move.” Lukas approved. “By the way, when is the X hour supposed to be?” He frowned.  
“Well, I guess it’s better right after lunch, when we can be sure that everyone will be where we want them to be!” Bastian explained.  
“Very wise.” His boyfriend nodded.

“And before that, we can set a proper plan of action. Look at this!” Bastian added, drawing out a folded sheet of paper and opening it, placing on a part of the floor that wasn’t wet.  
“Geez, Basti, where did you get a track map of the hotel?” Lukas jolted, bewildered. “Did you steal it?” He grew worried.  
“What? Naaah! I simply asked for that!” Bastian replied, shrugging.  
“And when did you exactly learn how to speak _Portuguese_?” Lukas interrogated him, in pure disbelief.  
“There’s no need for that when you are very good at gesticulating, like I am!” The German smirked. “Besides, the receptionist seemed to have a soft spot for me. How can you blame her, after all? She’s a connoisseur!” He giggled, pleased with himself.

“Who is she? Is she pretty? Did you give her your number? Let me have a little talk with her!” Lukas snapped, ready to leave the bathroom.  
“Easy, Poldi!” Bastian grabbed him by his hips. “Geez, I thought that Sarah was the jealous type, but you’re even worse!” He chuckled.  
“There’s nothing funny about that! It’s just your fault, you’re way too sexy to freely walk around on your own!” Lukas growled.  
“Oh, really? So what? Are you planning to buy me a leash for my next birthday?” The blond teased him, gently nibbling his neck.  
“Don’t give me such ideas, Basti!” Lukas murmured, before kissing him, marking his territory once more.

“Now, just sit down and study the map with me.” Basti ordered, parting from him. “See? There are two ways in, we can split. I take care of zone A , you take care of zone B, then we’ll be out before they can say _Wunderschön!_ ” He explained, pointing at the map.  
“Yep, I guess it’s easier if we split, but, really, I don’t think that ‘ _Wunderschön’_ is on the top 10 most probable things they could say after we succeeded!” Lukas made him notice, chuckling.

“I guess you’re right, whatever! Now let’s put the chemical ice in the refrigerator, let’s have lunch and then the fun will start!” Bastian suggested, folding the track map and putting it back in his pocket.  
“Hey, Basti, do you think that we’ll discover some new pairings even there?” Lukas hopefully wondered, while he collected the bowl with the balloons.  
“Naaah, it’s a way too public place, no one would betray themselves in such a stupid way!” Bastian replied, leaving with his partner both in crime and in life.

 

(End I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and cookies for you if you already figured out where Basti and Luks are going to strike and if, unlike this not-so-smart Thomas (lol) , you got the meaning of Miro’s ‘cryptic’ sentence XD
> 
> I hope you liked it and smiled at least once ^^ .
> 
> You know, this is probably the story I’m fond of the most, so I really hope that, despite my awful late, you won’t abandon it … even a little, tiny sign that you’re still sticking around would mean so, so, so much to me <3 , besides it makes me want to write faster ^^ 
> 
> Thanks anyway, see you as soon as possible with the second part (I still have to write it, Dammit!), get ready for other pairings to be caught up, even the most… unsuspected ;P
> 
> *runs away*


	6. V II: Unsuspected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More pranks, more new pairings to find out... and (hopefully) more fun ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo!
> 
> Believe me or not but this happened again… tons of unplanned stuff popped out of my crazy mind and the result is this part which doesn’t contain yet all the things I really planned to write.
> 
> I suppose I have to ‘accuse ‘ Mel who wanted someone for poor, dear, sweet Julian, and Kira who wanted a pairing betraying themselves ;P, (hope you’ll both be fine with my choice ^^ )
> 
> But thanks a lot to all of you who take your time to let me know what you think and thanks a lot for all the kudos and thanks for subscriptions/bookmarks, too, you’re so so so kind. <3
> 
> Not betaed and not fully re-read (it’s getting late here..), so I apologize for all the mistakes, I’ll try to correct it asap
> 
> So now here’s the second part:

 Miro and Thomas walked back to the stationary bike room, but the door was closed.

“Dammit! If we now open the door to take a look and then go out, if they’re still there, they’ll grow suspicious. But we need to find out who is in that room first…” Thomas grumbled.  
“Looks like the mission will be delayed.” Miro snorted, clearly disappointed.

By then he was taking a liking for that.

“Wait, I saw a window before, when I glanced at the room.” Thomas recalled.

And he was right. When they stepped outside, they saw a large window, placed in the middle of the room.  
The only problem was that they were on the ground and the gym area was located at the second floor.

“We can’t see anything from here!” The Pole complained, but the German didn’t want to give in.

“Honey, what do you think that trees were invented for?” He smirked, pointing at the tree in the garden with one of its large branches just in proximity of that window.  
“What? No way, Thom, I’m not going to climb up; I’m afraid I don’t even remember how to do it.” Miroslav protested.

“Don’t worry, Opa, I didn’t expect that you would. I’m going to do it!” The younger declared, placing his hands on the rind and testing with his feet the robustness of the trunk.  
“Are you sure, baby?” Miro glanced at him, concerned.

“Of course, it’s daily routine for me! Once, in Bayern Munich, Robert, Mario and I climbed on a tree to throw flour bombs to all the others, once they left the stadium. It was so much fun!” The Bavarian giggled at the memory. “Basti, the king of pranks, couldn’t believe to have been fooled so easily, also Phips must still remember that day for sure, but the most comic-dramatic reactions were from Dante who kept whining about his smeared hair and Manu for ruining the bread with Nutella he was eating!” He recalled, amused.

“And you even survived to his rage after that!” Miroslav chuckled. “Geez, I would have liked to see that!”

“It’s your fault. You leave Bayern; you miss all the funny stuff!” Thomas retorted.  
“Well, it wouldn’t be so fun, since I would have been one of the victims!” Miro observed.

“Whatever! I proved my point. I can climb, so now let me do that!”Thomas insisted and started to climb up, with remarkable agility.

In a matter of few minutes he was already sitting on the large branch.

“Do you see them?” Miro yelled at him.  
“Yep. They both are still there and still alone.” The German yelled back at him.  
“Good to know. And are they cycling now?” The Pole questioned his boyfriend.  
“Nope!”  
“Are they still pretending to?” Miro figured out.  
“Damn right. Mesut is still fidgeting with his iPhone and Sami is still singing… lucky for us it’s an acoustically isolated glass!” Thomas chuckled.

“Oh, c’mon, maybe he’s not so bad!” Miroslav defended the Tunisian. “However, now we have the info we needed. You can go down.” He added and Thomas obeyed.

“Well, if only the window was open, it would be so cool to sneak inside from it, jumping from the branch with the ice bucket…” Thomas daydreamed about it.  
“Sure, jumping from fifteen feet, holding a heavy bucket full of water… Give it a try when you become Spider Man, maybe!” Miroslav struck back.

“What? So, does Opa really know about Spider Man?” Thomas pretended to be astonished, making fun of him.  
“Yeah, believe me or not, but Ben-Hur is not the last movie I’ve seen!” The Pole replied with a smile, giving a proof or his self-parody. “Now let’s go.”

It only took them nothing more than five minutes before they slammed the door open.

Sami was busy singing ‘Just the way you are’ by Bruno Mars at the top of his lungs and Thomas had to reconsider his opinion about him: Miro was right, he wasn’t bad at all, especially judging by the ecstatic way Mesut was staring at him with.

But since the Tunisian kept his eyes closed, all engrossed in singing, he couldn’t see that.

However, the spell was broken once Mesut noticed the two intruders’ presence.

“Miro, Thom. What are you doing here? Do you want to cycle, too?” Mesut wondered.  
“Yeah, sure, like you were cycling for real!” Thomas rolled his eyes.

Mesut shook Sami’s shoulder and finally he opened his eyes.

“Hey, guys! What are you holding? It looks heavy, do you need some help with that?” Sami politely asked them, pointing at the bucket.

“Oh my, they’re so cute and naïve that I almost can’t bring myself do this to them.” Miroslav whispered at his partner.

Mesut and Sami kept staring at them, rather dumb-founded.

“So are we going to give up?” Thomas whispered back, but then he saw on his boyfriend’s features the sneer he loved so much, mostly because it was very rare to be seen.

“I said _almost_!” The Pole pointed out, walking towards the unlucky and unaware duo along with him.

“Thom? Miro? What the hell…” Mesut wondered disquieted, starting to feel a coming soon threat.

He attempted to leave his stationary bike, but it was too late.  
Sami had just resumed listening to his iPod, as if nothing was happening.

“Have a refreshing break, guys!” Thomas giggled, splashing with Miro the icy water all over their teammates.

“Damn you, bloody fucking assholes! This is not fucking fun!” Mesut roared, soaked to the bone and shivering because of the cold.  
“Speak for yourself! It _is_ fun!” Thomas struck back, challenging the Turk with his look.

Mesut was mentally debating between two priorities: beating the hell out of Miroslav and Thomas for their stupid joke or checking if his iPhone was okay and mostly if all the videos that he had shot of his beautiful Sami while he was singing were safe and sound.

Sami.  
The guy who had brought Mesut to question himself about his own sexual orientation. He had always thought he was straight, he had never had not even the slightest attraction towards a guy… until he met Sami. Sami, with his oh so  sweet attitude, Sami with his oh so bright smiles, Sami with his oh so perfect body.  
Through all those years in the team together, Mesut had achieved to share a great friendship with him, they were best friends, but he craved so much more and the worst part was that he couldn’t tell him but he had to keep his secret, too afraid of Sami’s awful reaction if he had found the truth.

The second priority won and the fact that those videos was perfectly intact instantly made the Turk less angry towards the mischievous duo.

“Wow! This iPod is waterproof for real!” Sami chuckled, while he kept dancing along the rhythm of the music.  
The way his grey T-shirt lifted up, showing his abs and half of his belly was driving Mesut crazy. Besides, Sami’s dance was extremely sensual and this was not helping at all.

The Turk didn’t even know where he found enough self control for doing what he did.  
He held his friend still and took his headphones off.

“Sami, in case you didn’t notice, we’re soaked to the bone now and it’s only their damn fault!” He made the Tunisian notice, pointing at the guilty duo.

“Yeah, I did notice. So what?” He shrugged.

“You know what? Miro and I are rather astonished. We have witnessed every sort of reaction from the others to this little prank of ours. At least Mesut wanted to kill us, but then he changed his mind, for reasons.” Thomas stated.  
“Don’t make me change my mind again, Müller!” Mesut growled, glaring at him. “I still wonder why you didn’t run away after that!”

“Because we’re anything but coward and we’re ready to face the consequences of our actions.” Miroslav explained.  
“Damn right, so if this leads to a riot we’re more than ready to fight!” Thomas declared, showing his fists.  
“Hey, speak for yourself! I’m a pacifist!” Miroslav protested.  
“Nope, if you really were, you hadn’t done this in first place!” Mesut snapped, squeezing his shorts and the lower part of his white T-shirt that practically was revealing all of his chest.  
“Touché.” Miro grumbled.

“Once for all, Sami, tell us, why didn’t you get angry?” Thomas asked him, growing curious.

“Well, first, you didn’t ruin my iPod; second, it was getting pretty hot here, but maybe this way it’s even way too fresh!” Sami started, shivering a little bit and sneezing.  
Mesut rushed to cover him with his towel, but the other gestured him he didn’t need that.

“Third, the shower of water reminds me to all those boy bands videos, like Boyzone, Backstreet Boys, ‘N Sync and shit like that! It’s cool!” He chuckled.  
“Someone here regrets a pop-music career.” Thomas made fun of him.

Sami just ignored him and went on with his list.

“Last, but not the least, this prank brought to important realizations: at least now I know that Opa can be fun… and a little idiot, too.”  
Miro blushed a little bit but eventually nodded.

“Please, talk to the posterity about me as a serious professional player, but not always so serious after all!” The Pole said with a smirk.

“But mostly now I finally know that, if possible, Mesut looks even sexier when he’s drenched!” Sami absented-mindedly added, utterly unable to take his eyes off of his friend.

“What?” Mesut wondered dumbfounded, opening his eyes even wider than usual, so much that it was a miracle if they didn’t pop out of his head.  
“What?” Miroslav and Thomas wondered in perfect unison, equally surprised.  
“What?” Sami asked himself, rather panic-stricken. “Did... did I really say that  out loud?” He stuttered, mentally cursing himself.

How could have he made such a huge mistake? That was his precious secret, so well hidden for years and now he had just indirectly revealed that he had feeling for Mesut that went far beyond the simple friendship.  
He knew he was bisexual since he was a teenager, but Mesut had the power to make him utterly forget about all the other guys and girls’ existence.

But now Mesut knew and judging by his shocked sort of paresis it hadn’t been a good idea.  
This was the real icy shower for the concerned Tunisian.

There was only a thing to do: run away, as far as possible.  
That’s why he rushed outside the room, without even minding at all the wet footprints he was leaving through the corridor.

Mesut seemed to recover from the shock of such revelation.

“Did… did I heard it right? He found me sexy, doesn’t he?” He asked for confirmation to his ‘torturers’.  
“Yep, it seems so.” Thomas babbled.

Mesut’s confused face turned into the brightest grin ever.

He didn’t even feel the cold in his bones anymore, a stronger warm sensation was overwhelming him.

Sami – his Sami – did care about him. So maybe there was a chance to take their friendship to a definitely more interesting level. He just had to try.

“Saaaaaamiiii, wait! Let’s talk about it!” He pleaded, with a mellifluous tone, rushing after his teammate and following his tracks.

 

“So… even Sami and Mesut?” Miroslav realized, preferring to leave that question incomplete.  
“Yeah, that’s new even to me.” Thomas mumbled.

“You know, baby, this started as an innocent game of pranks and it’s turning into a sort of secret couples detector!” the older giggled.  
“You’re right, but not in this case. I mean, geez, those two weren’t already together?! Everyone in the team was sure that they were a more than established pairing!” Thomas explained.

“Really? Well, I didn’t, they just struck me as very good friends; just like Basti and Luks… or Mats and Benni or… wait, okay, I got the point, they could have been a couple as well!” The Pole figured out and then exchanged an understanding look with his boyfriend. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Hell yeah!” The German giggled, drawing out the walkie-talkie. “And I’ve even found the perfect figurative speaking to make them understand!”

“Tiger? Dolphin? Can you hear me? Eagle and I have the king of scoops. Over.”  
“Spit it out. Over.” Bastian exhorted him.

“The Turk monkey likes climbing up the Tunisian tree and the Tunisian tree likes that as well but they just didn’t know! Over.”

“What?! How can it be? We were sure they had been in love with each other for years!” Lukas babbled. “Over.”

“See? They got it!” Thomas bragged, grinning at Miro and placing a hand on the receiver not to be heard by their friends.

“How did you find it out? Over.” Bastian wondered.

“Actually an explicit remark about Mesut escaped from Sami’s mouth after we put them on our list.” Miro explained.

“Yep and this triggered a sort of drama/love scene between them. Oh, my feels!” Thomas added, pretending to be touched. “Over.”

“Geez, I want to find out a secret couple, too!” Lukas whined, sort of envious.  
“Well, we’ve found Mats and Benni.” Bastian reminds to him.  
“Well, it’s not enough, I want more!” Lukas insisted. “They have already found two ones!”  
“When did it exactly turned into a competition?” Bastian chuckled. “However, now Eagle and Ferret have just found out that two guys who were supposed to be already together actually aren’t. It doesn’t count as a secret pairing. Over.” He made them notice.

“Well, just wait until Mesut reaches Sami and they’ll become one for sure!” Miro stated, amused. “So this _does_ make two for us against one for you. Over.”

“Don’t forget that we were the first finding out about Manu and Phips. So we are even!” Basti retorted. “Over.”  
“May the best win, then! Over and out.” Miroslav ended the conversation.

“Am I wrong or this wasn’t supposed to be a competition?” Thomas reminded to him, chuckling.  
“I know, but let’s hope they won’t find out anything new. I’d like to remain even if we just can’t win!” Miro grumbled.

“The hell with the competition, I do hope they’ll find something new, our Mannschaft is turning into a soap opera and I don't want to miss not even an episode!” He grinned.  
“We’ll see… now let’s just try to have lunch, it’s half past Midday, aren’t you starving?” Miro asked him.

“A little, but actually I have another kind of appetite now… especially after seeing that special and sexy  push-up section…” The younger cast a lustful grin at the older.  
“See? A reason more to eat and fill up with energy before that!” He chuckled, leaving the gym area with his partner.

******************************* (In the meantime)

Also Bastian and Lukas were on their way to have their lunch, but while they were heading towards the first available restaurant, Bastian caught a glimpse of a shop, a Carnival costume shop.

“Hey, honey, look! Wouldn’t it be the perfect disguise to strike?” He said, pointing at the shop window, where lots of masks were displayed.

“You are a genius! And if we try to camouflage even our voices no one will recognize us!” Lukas grinned. “So which ones do you want to pick? I can’t decide between Chip ‘n Dale and Mickey Mouse and Goofy!”

“No way! Those two are the perfect match for us!” Bastian struck back, pointing at another pair of masks.

The Pole rolled his eyes.  
“Geez, Basti, please, do something to get over your stupid Avengers fever!” He snorted.

“Be glad that I’m just aiming at the mask and not at the whole custom!” The German chuckled. “Now let’s go there, before the shop closes!”

“Hey, wait a minute, when did I exactly say yes?” Lukas retorted.  
“Oh, c’mon, Luks, we both know that you’re unable to say no to me.” Bastian smirked.

“Sure as hell that I’m able. No! See? That was pretty easy!” The younger sneered.

“Oh, c’mon, those superheroes are everyone’s favorite OTP, they’re made to be with each other, just like us!” Bastian made him notice.

“Really?” Lukas raised his eyebrow. “No, wait, this doesn’t change anything. No!” He insisted.

The older stared at him with languishing eyes.  
“Poldi…”  
“No…” Lukas resisted, but he didn’t sound as resolute as before.

Bastian resorted to his pout.

“Prinz Poldi, c'mon, pretty pleeease…” He pleaded.

And poor Lukas was at Bastian’s mercy.

“Okay, okay, let’s buy them!” he gave in, helpless.

\----------------------------------

After lunch, Lukas and Bastian collected all their stuff in their room, put it in their rucksack and wore them up front to take the water balloons more easily.  
They reached the swimming pool in a few minutes and split, taking two opposite directions, just like they had previously planned.  
They had synchronized their watches in order to strike at the same time and X hour would be at 1:30 p.m. .  
There were still three minutes before that.

Basically it was nap time and no one was swimming. Basti couldn’t have chosen a more perfect time of the day.  
And he couldn’t wait to spoil everyone’s relax. He was hiding behind a tree, already wearing his mask.  
And since the tree was close to Roman’s sunbed, he would have been his first victim.

Also Lukas had found a tree to hide himself behind and it was located near Julian and Matthias, who, for reasons, seemed to stay more isolated than the others.  
And from that distance, Lukas could hear the guys very easily and those two weren’t talking nor acting like two plain friends.

“July-Juls, c’mon, just a little cuddling, no one will notice us!” Matthias pleaded, letting his hand sink in his hair.

“First, do _not_ call me that!” The Schalke player snapped, snorting. “And second, get a grip, we can’t do that here. In case you’ve forgotten, this is a public place, very public!”

“Oh, c’mon, all the others around us are busy sleeping, no one is watching!” The Dortmund player insisted.

“Please, Matthy, let’s just not push our luck, okay?” The older tried to reason with him, in a softer tone.

Lukas couldn’t believe his luck, he had just found a new, very secret and totally unsuspected pairing.

\- Can’t wait to let Basti know about that, anyway… geez, what’s this alchemy between Schalke and Dortmund? They seems to draw each other like magnets! – He pondered, wearing his mask, ready to strike.

Only a minute to X hour.

“Okay, no cuddling, got it!” The younger gave in, snorting. “At least could you help me put the tanning lotion on my back? Sun is getting pretty hot and you don’t want it to harm my skin, do you?” He said, taking the lotion.

“Fine, my dear pain in the ass; I suppose I can do that!” Julian rolled his eyes, moving closer to him and sitting on his sunbed.

The blond laid with his stomach on the sunbed and waited for Julian to put the lotion on his hand.  
As soon as the brunet started to smear the lotion all over his back, the blond purred contently, but both of his oh so soft skin to touch and his moans of pleasure were giving Julian a very hard time.

And Matthias did know that for sure. His shrewd plan was brilliantly working.

“Matthy…” The older tottered.  
“My offer still stands. No one is watching…” The younger singsonged, turning to stare at him.

It was all it took for Matthias to finally get a kiss from someone who was definitely on his way to become his boyfriend.

X hour.

Lukas arranged better his mask and grabbed two balloons, still very cold, thanks to the chemical ice.

“Hey, lovebirds, looks like you need some help to cool your excitable temper down!” an unfamiliar voice made them jolt and, before they could realize what was happening, a sort of Captain America in shorts were splashing icy water on them and running away.

“Woaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Who the hell was that guy?” Matthias wondered, freezing.  
“Dammit! See? I was right, we ran a risk and that’s the result!” Julian cursed, searching for his towel to warm himself up.

“But… just how? Where the hell did he pop out from?” Matthias replied, mirroring his actions.  
“I don’t know. Maybe he was one of Löw’s special sentries, because he doesn’t want anything like that to happen in his team!” Julian grew more and more concerned and agitated.

Lukas kept running along all the row of beach umbrellas and sunbeds, hitting and/or waking up every of his marks: Ron-Robert, Schrokodan, Max  and Kevin and disappearing from their sight before they could react.

On the opposite side of the swimming pool, a certain guy wearing a Iron Man mask were attacking his victims the same way: Roman, in first place, then Per and Jerome… who didn’t seem very happy about it.

\- Geez, why did I get all the very big dudes? – Bastian mentally whined, fearing for his own safety, while he tried to run as fast as he could.

The rucksack was just too heavy, if he wanted to go faster he needed to get rid of it and he did, throwing it in the swimming pool.

Lukas must have had his same idea, because once he crossed his way again, he didn’t have it anymore, either.  
Without minding at the very pissed off crowd who was chasing after them, thanks to God only knows what miracle, they both managed to leave the swimming pool, safe and sound… and lacking oxygen in their lungs.

But they stopped only when they were one hundred percent sure that no one was still following them.

They had ended in the saunas zone. Who would have ever wanted to go there in full Summer?  
They were safe.

“Geez, this is worse than Löw’s training! I’ve never run so much in my life!” Bastian complained, once he caught his breath.

Lukas was still panting hard, bent over, with his hands on his knees.

“Shut the fuck up! It’s only your bloody fault! It’s you who suggested the master stroke in the swimming pool! Damn me for always listening to you!” He finally managed to reply, glaring at the blond.

“Oh, c’mon, admit it, it was fun. Sure, risky as hell, but fun!” The German retorted.

Lukas found himself grinning at his partner.

“Yeah, so damn fun that I want a souvenir of that. Come here!” He said, sitting on a low wall and gesturing for the older to reach him.

Once he did, the younger drew out his iPhone and pulled Bastian closer, taking a selfie of them, still wearing their mask.

“This is the Lukas I cherish and love!” The German grinned, kissing his boyfriend.

During the kiss, Lukas recalled that he had important stuff to share with his lover and parted from him.

“Guess what, Basti? Miro and Thom are going to lose; we have just reached three discovered new pairings now!”

 (TBC)  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So from 1 to ‘Oh my god, I’m going to put a straitjacket on you so you won’t write anymore!’ … how crazy was that?
> 
> I don’t know why, but I find extremely easy to picture Thomas climbing trees, Sami dancing and singing R&;B/Pop Music, Miro becoming competitive about something and Luks and Basti being such troublemaker ;P
> 
> And there’s much more to come in the next chapter… all I can say is that if you see someone still missing there’s a reason ;P
> 
> Well, did I make you smile? Did I bore you to death? Do you think I’m mental? XD
> 
> whatever the answer is, pleeeease , let me know.  
> Every sort of feedback is more than loved and every new reader is welcome ^^  
> I swear this story will reach its end one day XD  
> Thanks for your time, hope to see you still around ^^  
> Hugs
> 
> Lu
> 
> p.s. Next update will be ‘Highs and Lows’ because I haven’t written it for ages… arrgh :/ Just give me a bunch of days 
> 
> p.p.s. as always, if you want to find me on Twitter... @CherishedDream4


	7. VI: I got it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lukas makes a huge mistake; Bastian has always a plan for everything, Thomas is enlightened out of the blue, Miroslav wishes for more romance …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo,  
> sorry for late, I was trapped in another fandom, lol!
> 
> Huge thanks to all the lovely girls who support me in every single chapter: Mel, Helga, Kira and Arbie, I’ll never thank you enough <3<3<3<3
> 
> thanks to every new reader, like Brandy<3, aoiyuno and Keysi <3 , every reader who came back, like Elyse <3 and for every kudos/bookmark/subscription, it means A LOT to me ;’)  
> a special thanks to meinewolfboy3, for all the kudos she left to my stories ^^
> 
> About all the readers I lost through the chapters :( ... I’m sorry if this story ended up boring you, but thanks for all the time you dedicated to it ^^
> 
> Okay, I’ve finished to write it at 3:00 a.m. and I’ve slept less than 4 hours *yawns* but … here’s the new chapter and… lol, it wasn’t exactly what I expected to write, but I give up, the characters here keep doing as they please XD
> 
> Not betaed, all mistakes are mine.

“… so Matze was insistently asking for Julian’s attention…” Lukas went on with his report.  
“So what? That little pest always looks for everyone’s attention!” Bastian chuckled.  
“Nope, that’s not the point, you still have to hear the most juicy part!” the other insisted, when he felt his iPhone vibrate.

One. Five. Twelve times.  
Odd. But not so unusual, after all, that’s why he didn’t pay attention.

“I thought that it was only because Matze wanted to annoy him, also because Jules seemed to be so reluctant at the beginning, instead…”  
“Did they kiss?” Bastian anticipated his boyfriend, eagerly.  
“Hell yeah! And before things became too hot, I intervened and…”

Other vibrations arrived from his Smartphone. Two. Four. Ten. Sixteen ones.

“Hey! It looks like someone is insistently looking for you. Should I be jealous?” Bastian joked about it.  
“Don’t be silly, no one is looking for me; I mean, usually it happens when I post something on twitter, but I haven’t…”

Abrupt pause.  
Gulp.  
Cold sweat.  
A terrifying doubt.  
Both for Lukas and Bastian.

“Lukas, do me a favor and try to read some of your notifications.” The German fearfully exhorted him.  
“ Huh, okay. ‘Hello, Captain Poldi and… Iron-Basti!’. Shit. ‘So, what are you guys up to?’, ‘Hail to the kings of pranks!’ Oh, double shit! ‘Where did you find such cool masks?’ Fuck…” Lukas started to read out loud.

“Fucking shit! Damn you, Poldi, that selfie was supposed not to be posted. Never ever.” Bastian scolded his boyfriend.  
“I know and I didn’t mean to… but probably I must have downloaded a new App that posts every pic you take directly on Twitter and I forgot to remove it…” He babbled.  
“How the hell could you forget something so damn important?” Bastian yelled at him. “We’re dead.”

“You’re so exaggerating. I’m sure that none of our buddies has already noticed that so I can delete it and…”  
Lukas stopped as soon as he saw some important tweets.  
“Oh-oh.  ‘I should have known better, since you’re the source of every prank. You and Basti are oh so dead!’ by Per; ‘I’m going to find you, wherever you’re bloody hiding!’ by Jerome… an endless list of not very nice words by Roman… uhmm okay, it’s too late. Now we’re officially in serious danger.” Lukas established, trying to remain calm.  
“That’s it, you won’t be allowed to take any bloody selfie with me any-fucking-more!” Bastian snapped. “Now let’s just hope no one find us here… probably we’ll have to dress up as gardeners, waiters, domestic stuff or something.” He grumbled.

Lukas giggled.  
“Cool! Just like those comedy movies, you know, when the escaping person knocks out someone and then dresses up like them, or when they sneak through the janitor’s closet and …" The younger started to daydream about that situation.  
But Bastian was not in the same cheerful mood.  
“Lukas Josef Podolski! This is not the proper moment to laugh!” The older almost growled and he sounded convincing enough.

“Sorry…” The Pole whimpered and then they heard another buzz from Lukas’ iPhone.  
“ ‘So nice of you to take a selfie that… shows where you are, thanks to the background!’ Oh, shit, this was from Kevin, probably he told the others , probably they’re already coming here…probably…” Lukas started to agitate.

“Okay, Luks, calm down!” Bastian said, shaking his shoulders until he calmed down for real. “Now I suggest to save our breath to… run the hell away from here!” He said, before scooting, followed by an equal scared Lukas.

********************* (In the meantime)

Thomas and Miro didn’t have any trouble and could spend their free time in the best way ever, surely more relaxing than the other duo.  
As a matter of fact, they were on their bed, once again, and Thomas was testing that very special push-up session with Miro, probably even a hotter way, because they were utterly naked.  
Every time Thomas flexed their cocks connected and Miro rewarded him for such pleasant vibrations with hot kisses.

“Geez, Miro, I’m perfectly aware that I’m monopolizing you, since we’ve started the World Cup Championship, but it’s stronger than me, really, honey, it's not that I didn't try, but I just can’t help it…” Thomas justified, flexing once more and Miro took advantage of that to viciously attack his neck.  
“Does it look like I’m complaining, baby?” He purred against his skin.  
Thomas giggled, both for his answer and for the tickle of that vibration.  
“Nope, of course you are not, but, you know… I guess it’s my right, after all, because once the Championship is over, possibly with us winning, we’ll have to wait 'till the 2016 Euro Qualifications to meet again.” The younger explained, kissing him.

Next Euro Qualifications…  
Miroslav was already considering the possibility of retiring from the National Team and concluding his last year as professional football player just in Serie A; he hadn’t decided yet, but there was a high probability that he would, especially if Germany had won the World Cup.  
Besides, of course, also breaking the Top World Scorer record wouldn’t be bad…

\- Well, there’s no reason why I should tell Thomas about it. For now let’s enjoy the moment. – He pondered, pushing the younger closer for a sweet kiss.

Well, it was supposed to be sweet, but Thomas kissed him back with such a passion that things became way too hot for them to hold on any longer.  
It was enough only a look between the lovers to establish who would have taken the lead.  
Miro rolled on top and Thomas slid down on the mattress, spreading his legs and surrendering to his boyfriend’s control.

“Sami and Mesut…” Thomas murmured after the first slow pushes.  
“Ballack and Frings!” Miroslav answered back.  
“What?” Thomas jolted, sending a oh so pleasant vibration to Miroslav.  
“Well, you’re not the only one who thinks about other people while we are doing… stuff!” The Pole retorted, a little insulted.

Thomas burst out laughing and that broke the magic moment between them.

“You, silly! It wasn’t that kind of thought, you, pervert old man!” He laughed, parting from him and hitting his head with a pillow, repeatedly.  
“I was just thinking about the dynamics between them. You know, they are crazy for each other and they didn’t know and didn’t even dare to think that the other could ever feel the same… _Who_ do they remind you to?” The German explained.  
“Uhmm… two people chasing each other for years, trying to ignore their feelings… I really don’t know who they remind me to!” Miroslav answered sarcastically.  
“If it had been only up to me, we would have ignored our feelings for so much less time!” Thomas chuckled, giving a peck on the older ‘s lips, before narrowing his eyes at him.

“What’s the look now?” The Pole inquired him.  
“Do you really think about Ballack and Frings whenever we do… stuff?” The German ventured.  
Miro burst out laughing.  
“Of course I don’t! I was just only kidding you and they were the first names that popped into my head!” He justified. “I could have also named Basti and Lukas… or Marco and Mario!”  
“Pff, this is such a cliché!” Thomas rolled his eyes, pretending to be bored.  
“Well, I didn’t mention which Mario it was!” Miroslav smirked, with an hint of mystery.  
“So my boyfriend has fantasies about his sworn enemy while he’s making love to me. That’s hot!” Thomas giggled, kissing him.

The magic moment between them was back.

“However, as I was trying to tell you before, I was thinking about Sami and Mesut. I’m happy that finally, thanks to us, they have found their way.” the German murmured against his lips.  
“Yeah, so probably now that they made things clear, they will be locked inside their room, making sweet and hot love, just like me and you.” The Pole purred, determined to resume his previous activity.

 “Oh, Miiiroooo.” Thomas moaned, grasping his shoulder.  
“Oh, Müller… Gerd!” Miroslav teased him on purpose.  
“You, big dummy!” Thomas laughed, slapping his chest playfully and Miro laughed with him.

It was enough just another little push to make any hilarity fade away.

“Geez, Miro, I’m so close…” Thomas warned him, afraid that he couldn’t resist for long.  
“Me, too!” The older growled, sealing their lips into a passionate kiss, before descending to the younger’s neck.

Thomas threw back his head, slave of lust, but he kept his eyes open and in the process he focused on his T-shirt, abandoned on a chair.  
It was a training T-shirt and he could clearly see the number, although it was upside-down: 13.  
A number. On a T-shirt. The National Team T-shirt. A sign of identification. So many possibilities.  
He could easily recall Miro’s words.

_/” The solution is just in the numbers of the colours and the canvases’/_

The numbers.

Maybe it was all the adrenaline, the climax of pleasure, maybe it was that vision, but something hit Thomas’ brain.

“The Jersey!” He screamed, while he released between their stomachs.  
“What?” Miro frowned, exploding inside his lover’s body.  
“I got it! The meaning of the figurative language. It’s about the numbers of Chris’ and Erik’s jerseys. It wasn’t about what they did in the sentence!” Thomas figured out, while he cleaned up his mess.

“Were you still thinking about that? But mostly in _such_ a moment?” Miro asked him, parting from his boyfriend puzzled.  
“Yeah, you know that I can’t sleep at night if I have an unresolved issue in my mind.” The Bavarain justified, curling up on his lover’s lap.  
“Well, it means that you’ll be able to sleep tonight.” The Pole smiled, toying with Thomas’ curly hair.  
“Damn right. So let me see if I got it straight: Chris and Erik could have been even two gardeners pruning the same hedge… I don’t know using fifteen grass shears in twenty-three ways.” Thomas stated, caressing his abs.  
“Good boy, you’ve learned the lesson.” Miroslav giggled, nodding.  
“Or two biologists who study the same atom, or two astronauts exploring the same planet, or two…” Thomas tried again, thrilled like a kid who has just found an amusing game.  
“Geez, Thomas, yeah, I got it, you figured out the trick. Enough is enough!” Miro rolled his eyes.

“Well, I was just training a little bit. Why are you so pissed off?” The German pouted.  
“And you even ask me? I mean, you talked about jerseys during sex! Besides, we’ve been teasing each other all time long. This is one of the less romantic times we had.” The Pole grumbled and gently pushed him away, in order to reach the bathroom.  
“Well, to me this was one of the best times!” Thomas chuckled, getting up from the bed as well to follow his partner.

“Whether you like it or not, my oh so serious man, I’m turning you into Mr. Fun. It’s just a matter of time…” He smiled, kissing the older.  
“I never mind whatever you want to do to me, baby.” Miro murmured, deepening their kiss.  
“However, if now you allow me to have a shower with you, I grant you a very serious sexy time!” The younger winked at him.  
“Permission granted!” Miro smiled, making room for him in the shower box.

*******************************

At every step they took, Bastian and Lukas kept taking a look around, fearing one or more of their teammates at the swimming pool to approach them with very unfriendly intentions.  
They kept sliding quickly along walls, plants, brushes, statues, every sort of building, very prudently.  
They had already got rid of the mask, or rather, Bastian would have liked to throw them in the garbage because of all the trouble they had brought, but Lukas insisted saying that - good or bad-  it was an important memory to store and offered to keep them both hidden inside his shirt.  
Lucky for them, the coast was always clear, until they finally managed to reach their goal.

Well, more Bastian’s than Lukas’ goal.

“Geez, Basti, please, repeat to me once again why we are here. This is such a suicidal move!” Lukas grumbled, running with him through the hall and heading toward the closest elevator.  
“Actually it isn’t. Think about it, baby. If you look for someone who doesn’t want to be found, firstly you search around the most unusual places.” The older tried to reason with him.  
“You’re right. Like the sauna zones.” Lukas figured out.  
“Yep, we wouldn’t be safe there, especially after you _tweeted_  that place to everyone!” Bastian hissed, glaring at his boyfriend.  
Probably he wasn’t already completely over that issue.

“Do you plan to still hold it against me for long? I didn’t do that on purpose  I’ve already told you in every language that I’m sorry!” Lukas rolled his eyes, annoyed.  
“Well, try Polish, too!” Bastian challenged, him. “However, the only thought that now they’re probably turning that place upside down, sure that they can find us, it’s enough to amuse me and make me forget and forgive your mistake.” Bastian chuckled, making the smile come back on his lover’s features as well.  
“So what’s the plan? We remain stuck inside this elevator until everyone forgets what happened?” Lukas suggested, giggling.

“Mmm… I would surely know how to spend the time trapped here with you…” Bastian winked sexily at his mate. “But, nope, we’re going to hide in a room.”  
“Our room?” Lukas dared to guess.  
“No way, when danger increases it’s time to join forces. We need Opa’s protection.” The German explained.  
“Sounds wise.” Lukas approved. “But wait… are you sure that the hotel is the best place for us to hide? I mean, okay, this is so obvious that no one would search around here, but what if someone decides to take a look just because we think that no one thinks that we’d hide here?” Lukas rambled, confused.  
“Dammit, Luks, you’re giving me headache!” Bastian whined, rolling his eyes. “However, trust me, this could never happen.”  
“Why?” Lukas raised his eyebrow.  
“Because no one can be cleverer than us!” The German fiercely declared, making the Pole smile.

They left the elevator and walked through the corridor where Miro’s and Thomas’ room was located.  
“Okay, now let’s check where they are, if they’re not here, we’ll try at Fips’ room.” Bastian stated.  
“What? Noooo, wait, I don’t want to go to that realm of kinky lust!” Lukas grimaced at the only thought.  
“Oh shit, I had forgotten what they were doing… and probably are still doing.” Bastian grimaced the same way. “Well, I have the feeling that Mats and Benni wouldn’t be glad to help us, so let’s hope that Miro and Thom are there.” He said, drawing the walkie-talkie out.

“No way, put it back in your pocket!” Lukas pleaded.  
“Why?” Bastian frowned.  
“Those damn things are too noisy and that could draw someone’s attention…” He justified.  
“You’re right.” Bastian recognized, putting that tool back in his pocket and following Lukas towards a more isolated corner, behind some plants.  
“There are other ways to check it out.” The younger smirked, resorting to his much less noisy iPhone.

He had to wait for seven rings, before Miroslav picked the call up.

“What the hell do you want?” The older Pole practically barked.  
“Is that a bad moment? Hay, wait, what’s that noise of flowing water that I hear in the background?” Lukas asked him.  
“You know, Lukas, there’s a high probability that you can hear a noise like that when you call someone who is having a damn shower!” Miro snapped.  
“Oh. Eeeww, does it mean that you’re naked now?” Lukas wondered.

“What? Of course I’m not, I’m wearing a towel… but what’s the point? Even if I was, we are just talking on the phone!” Miro struck back.  
“I know, but it’s so gross…” Lukas whined. “Unless it’s my Basti, I don’t want to talk with naked people on the phone!” He pointed out.  
“I’m flattered, honey, but hurry the fuck up and get to the bloody point. We can’t hide here forever!” Bastian reminded to him, rather annoyed.

“Huh, right. Miro? We made a huge mistake…” Lukas started, but then he felt his boyfriend’s blaming look on him. “Okay, _I_ made a huge mistake…” He corrected himself. “Now half team is looking for us. Can we stay in your room?” He finally got to the point.

“Okay. Just give me and Thom a couple of minutes to end our shower.” Miro grumbled, hanging up.  
“We’re safe.” Lukas grinned. “Besides, see? We didn’t even have to disguise ourselves to get here.”  
“Well, this is such a pity. I wouldn’t have minded to see you dressed up as a sexy waitress!” Bastian murmured.  
“Geez, Schweini, this is not the proper moment to think about cross-dressing!” Lukas rolled his eyes.  
“It’s _never_ the proper moment!” The German retorted, snorting disappointed.  
“Trust me. One day is going to happen and you’ll even be allowed to choose my outfit!” The Pole promised to him, with a look full of expectations.  
Bastian grinned and they left the corner together.  
   
Once Miro opened the door to them, the first thing Lukas and Bastian saw was Thomas – who, just like Miro, was already fully dressed – pointing at them, laughing so hard that he almost had trouble to breathe.

“I can’t believe it! You took a selfie of your last mischief and you posted it on Twitter! Could you be any more idiot?” The youngest managed to say, among laughs.  
“This wasn’t bloody supposed to happen!” Lukas justified, while Bastian had already rushed at Thomas, trying to strangle him.  
“I’m giving you a right reason to choke!” The older Bavarian snapped, before Miro acted like a peacemaker, as always, pulling Bastian back.  
“Hands off my boyfriend or I’m going to kick you two out of our room and text everyone where they can find you!” He threatened him and it worked.

“On second thought, dear Thomas, you’re right, that was something very funny to laugh about.” Bastian forced himself to apologize.  
“That’s better now. Okay, I guess that we have to stay quiet until dinner. Once Löw and Hansi are there with us, no one will dare to raise a finger against us.” Miroslav shrewdly suggested.  
“That’s the perfect crime!” Lukas approved and also Bastian smiled.  
“See? My Miro is such a genius!” Thomas grinned, rubbing his cheek against his partner’s one, while he hugged him.

“Okay… stay here still and quiet… I guess we can do that.” Lukas said, mostly to try to convince himself.  
“Hey, Luks, how many favorite and RT did our selfie get so far?” Bastian asked him, curios.  
“What? Why do you care?” His boyfriend wondered, rather stunned.  
“Well, after all we are risking for it, at least let me enjoy its glory!” The blond chuckled.  
  “234 favorite and 178 RT.” Lukas pleased him, checking it on his iPhone.  
“In less than thirty minutes? This is what I call success!” Bastian grinned, giving Lukas a high five.  
“See? You never want to take a selfie with me!” Thomas held it against Miro.  
“We took that one in the lockers, after beating France, content yourself with that!” Miroslav retorted.  
“I’m going to make a huge poster of that one!” The youngest grinned.

“Well, since we have some time to spend here, we could do something very constructive…” Miroslav pondered, reaching for a drawer where he took a sheet of paper and a marker pen.  
“Do you want to draw?” Thomas stared at him, puzzled.  
“Nope. Let’s review the current situation. We need a recap.” He explained, sitting with the paper on the floor.  
The weirdest thing was that he was really convinced that he was suggesting something fun.  
Lukas, Bastian and mostly Thomas groaned their disappointment, but sat close to him anyway.

“At least can we make a sketch of the people, instead of simply writing a list?” Thomas made another try.  
“Fine, do whatever you want!” Miro rolled his eyes, giving them the pen and the sheet and by turn the trio managed to draw a barely decent portray of Die Mannschaft.  
It had taken more than one sheet to do things properly.  
For reasons, Bastian and Lukas had drawn themselves holding hands with heart-shaped eyes. About Thomas, since he couldn’t draw himself, nor Miroslav, because they weren’t on the list, he had fun making a sketch of a miserable Mario crying a river of tears while he hugged Marco’s jersey and Manuel hugging a huge jar of Nutella, with a very pissed off Philipp by his side.  
For reasons, Lukas and Basti had drawned Mats wearing a Schalke04 jersey and Benedikt wearing a Dortmund one and Thomas had made Sami look like a sort of famous popstar and Mesut like his craziest fan.  
The rest of the team had been portrayed pretty normal and every sketch had the proper name below.

 “I had to admit that it’s even better than a simple list.” Miro confessed, grabbing the pen marker. “So, Basti, you and Lukas were the first ones to be fooled by us…” He commenced, putting a check near their names.  
“Do you really had to remind me that?” Bastian snorted, annoyed.  
“Yes, I had!” Miro challenged him, grinning. “Then we took care of Fips and Manu…”

Another couple of checks, until they were done with all the victims of the morning.  
One by one, Lukas and Bastian enumerated all their victims at the swimming pool.

“Ron-Robert, Roman..” Miro put a check on the last two names, examining all the sheets to notice something.  
“Hey! But André and Toni are still missing!” The oldest informed his mates.

“That’s right… they weren’t around the hall, or at the Gyms, or at the beach…” Lukas recapped.  
“Looks like someone is hiding to have a very special time on their own…” Thomas singsonged.

“Wait, what? Oh c’mon, just because we haven’t met them, it doesn’t mean that they’re together by any means!” Bastian protested.  
“Yeah, right, maybe they’re just good friends… or maybe they’re not even together right now!” Lukas agreed with his partner.

“Yep, c’mon, did you mistake our team for a sort of happy land where everyone is desperately in love with one of their teammates?” Bastian asserted.  
“I couldn’t have described our team better!” Miroslav chuckled.  
“Not in this case. I’m sure that they’re not together!” The blond insisted.

“Fine. So you won’t mind if I venture to verify that. So if I casually found out that Thomas and I were right, we’ll be the ones who discovered more secret couples!” Miro made him notice.  
“No bloody way, I’m going to verify that!” Bastian instantly changed his mind.

“Hey, speaking of new secret couples, I almost forgot that Basti and I found another one!” Lukas grinned madly.  
“Okay, spit it out, I’m ready for every figurative language!” Thomas smirked.  
“There’s no reason for that, we’re not using walkie-talkie, so there’s no need to talk like that.” Lukas shrugged.

“Well, let’s pretend we’re still using walkie-talkies. C’mon, I’ve become extremely good at this game!” Thomas insisted.  
“Hey! Figurative language is not a game, it’s a wise device that soldiers use not to let a potential enemy gather important info.” Bastian pointed out.  
“Whatever it is, I’ve become very good at it!” Thomas went on. “Ask Miro, if you don’t believe me!”  
“Well, yes, to train Thom has took a relevant part of this afternoon.” Miroslav confirmed, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, c’mon, you know better than me that that’s not the only interesting thing we did!” The youngest winked at him, before turning to Lukas. “C’mon, test me!”  
“Nope. Too late. I saw Matze and Jules kissing!” Lukas revealed, without wasting time.  
“Oh, god, I’d never thought about those two together… but I like that, they must have looked so cute!” Miro stated, sort of touched.  
“Oh, yes, they were, mostly Matze, insisting so much to get Jules’ attention…” Lukas smiled at the memory.

Also Thomas was surprised by that news, but he had another goal.  
“Damn you, Lukas! You could have revealed it saying… let me think about it.. uh, right. Two thieves robbed the same jewelry, taking four emeralds and fourteen rubies.” Thomas retorted.  
“Geez, you’ve really figured out the trick!” Lukas congratulated him, grinning.

“Told you so!” The other grinned back. “And I could go on for hours!”  
“The point is that actually he can _really_ go on for hours.” Miroslav informed everyone, pretty bored. “C’mon, Thomas, we’ll play this game tonight and once we’re done with Die Mannschaft we can have fun with all the other National teams here at World Cup.” He suggested.  
“Alright! The more difficult it becomes, the more fun we’ll have!” Thomas approved excited, kissing him all over his face.

“If you don’t mind, lovey-dovey, we still have a pending mission!” Bastian reminded to everyone.  
Miroslav parted from Thomas, looking at the blond.  
“Yep, that’s right, and if I recall right you said that _you_ would deal with that.” He refreshed his memory. “So what? Are you going to keep your word or are you too afraid of leaving this room?”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this chapter was entirely about Lukas, Bastian, Miroslav and Thomas and without any ice bucket… but I had so much fun writing it and I hope you had fun reading it ;)  
> See? The figurative language trick has been revealed XD , hope you won't mind if I made Thomas maniac with that XD
> 
> Random thoughts: I’d pay any price to see all those sketches XD
> 
> Probably there are tons of other things I should say, but I can’t recall them right now XD
> 
> So I’ll wait for your comments, if you’re so kind to leave even a tiny one ^^
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Next update will be ‘Busy Schedule’ because, as always, I’m damn late with everything.
> 
> Please, if you want to see any of the characters in this series in a specific situation, let me know and I’ll try to please you ^^


	8. VII: Caught off-guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poor Toni and André have no idea of what there’s in store for them…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo!  
> I don’t even know where to start from to apologize for this shameful late… but finally I’m done.. question is… will someone still remember this (absurd) story?
> 
> I don’t think so… I just keep losing readers :/ … but if there’s still one left is more than welcome!! ^^
> 
> Not betaed, so sorry for mistakes … by the way, I have the betaed versions of the previous two chapters, just give me time and I’ll put them :)

“Okay, I’m going to find out if there’s anything beyond friendship between those two.” Bastian swore.  
“Really?” Lukas asked him, between awe and clear concern.  
“Yeah, sure, I’m going to leave this room. You can stop me any moment if you changed your mind.” The blond said, turning to Miroslav and Thomas who kept silent.  
  
Slowly, extremely slowly, Bastian walked towards the door.  
“Basti!” Lukas called for him and his boyfriend turned to his direction, with the most relieved expression on his face.  
  
Click.  
Bastian looked confused at Lukas staring at his iPhone with a satisfied look.  
  
“At least, if something bad happen, I can keep the latest memory of you!” Lukas explained, half joking, half seriously concerned.  
“You’re such a bastard!” Bastian growled.  
  
Thomas peeped behind Lukas’shoulder, to look at the picture he had taken.  
“Yeah, it can also be a very good pic to put on your gravestone, because if our teammates find you, you’re not coming out of this alive for sure!” Thomas laughed.  
“You’re _not_ funny and you’re a bastard as well!” The older German growled.  
  
“And you’re not keeping your word. Why are you still here? Now that we collected all the basic stuff for your eventual funeral, you can go.” Miroslav stated, enjoying that joke.  
“I’m surrounded by bastards!” Bastian snapped exasperated, leaving the room and slamming the door.  
  
He hadn’t a good time for sure, especially when he scared the hell out of him seeing his own reflection on a mirror and mistaking it for a guy from the team who was walking towards him.  
Actually there was someone who crossed his way, but luckily for him it wasn’t any of his teammates.  
Very carefully and very laboriously, he managed to reach the floor where André's and Toni’s room was and knocked on their door.  
  
He had to wait for a while, before Toni came to open the door, with André following him.  
  
“Basti? What are you doing here?” He wondered, kind of agitated.  
“Well, I was just checking if you guys were here.” Bastian explained, stepping inside their room without even waiting for the owners’ permission.  
He just didn’t like the perspective of spending time so exposed in a corridor.  
  
“Why? What do you want?” André asked him, sort of rudely.  
“Huh, nothing big happened, guys, calm down, I just wanted to invite you to have a drink together, down in the hall. Everyone is already there.” The oldest found a believable excuse.  
  
“Huh, okay. Thank you, but don’t count on us, we’re going to remain here.” André shrugged.  
“Yeah, right. We were watching a DVD and we want to keep watching it.” Toni added.  
  
“Okay, then. So… what are you watching?” Bastian asked them.  
“A movie.” André replied promptly.  
“A football match.” Toni replied at the same time.  
  
Bastian stared at them, questioningly.  
“I mean, yeah, we’re watching a football match, but it’s so full of actions and changes of strategies that it’s like watching a thrilling movie!” Toni tried to justify their answers, glaring at André.  
“Sure, actually we were watching a Brazil match, you know, it’s better to study the enemy before the fateful day.” André added.  
  
“Yeah, right. Good guys, that’s a wise thing to do. I’ll let you keep… your studying, then.” Bastian pretended to believe them. “See you at dinner, guys.” He said, leaving their room and silently wishing that the coast would be as clear as before.  
  
“So do you think he believed us?” André asked his mate, closing the door.  
“Why shouldn’t he do? We were so convincing. Okay, I sort of wanted to kick your ass when you said the movie thing, but when you explained the Brazil match thing… you were so brilliant. It was such a shrewd move. You could clearly see Bastian looking at us with a sort of respect!” Toni smirked, lifting up the towel they had thrown on the low table, in the middle of the room, where there was a platform of scrabble and some clothing accessories, like belts, a shoe and a sock.  
  
“Can we resume the game now?” André asked him, arching his eyebrow in a sexy way.  
“Sure, honey, but you shouldn’t have all this rush.” Toni murmured, before giving him a long, slow and passionate kiss.  
  
In the meantime, Bastian had been lucky enough to go back in Thomas’ and Miroslav’s room, without anyone noticing him.  
“Basti! You’re still entirely alive!” Lukas welcomed him happily, with a tight hug.  
  
“So did you find out anything?” Miroslav inquired.  
“Well, both Toni and André were there and apparently they weren’t doing anything suspicious.” The blond answered.  
“Why do you say ‘apparently ‘?” Thomas asked him.  
“Because they acted weird and they were way too nervous. They were hiding something for sure!” Bastian informed them, caressing his chin thoughtfully. “To begin with, they were wearing a little too many clothes for such a sunny summer day.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Miroslav frowned.  
“Well, for example, both of them had a baseball cap, a vest, Toni had a bow-tie and André wore a tie… with Bermuda shorts! And I don’t recall who, but one of them were missing a shoe… and that’s not the what you dress up when you have to stay in your room!” Bastian replied.  
  
“So what? Maybe they were simply getting ready to have some fun somewhere around here, maybe an elegant club and you interrupted them in the middle of their preparation.” Lukas supposed.  
“It’s not just that. They were acting just like they couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”  
  
“Maybe it was because you were making them be late for their date.” Lukas reasoned.  
“A date on their own,  just like an official couple!” Thomas grinned.  
  
“No, it’s not that. They really wanted to remain in their room. They even found an excuse for it. They said they were watching a Brazil football match.” Bastian stated.  
“Good guys! We should follow their example, this is a perfect way to spend the time!” Miro commented.  
“Geez, Coach wannabe, give us a break. This is holiday and holiday it will be; we’re not going to do anything that’s remotely similar to work!” Thomas struck back. “And something tells me that neither are Toni and André. Am I right, Basti?” He added, exchanging an understanding look with the older Bavarian.  
  
“Damn right! As a matter of fact, the TV was turned off and there wasn’t anything running inside the DVD reader!” Bastian informed them, before recalling another fact.  “And there was even something covered with a sheet in the middle of the room. They’re clearly hiding something!”  
“You’re right, my friend, and we need to find out what it is.” Miroslav exhorted him.  
  
“If only we could hide a microphone in their room… too bad that we didn’t bring any of them with us.” Lukas regretted.  
“Wait a minute. Do you spy people with microphones?” Miroslav narrowed his eyes.  
“Sure we do, where there’s something fun to spy!” Bastian chuckled.  
  
“Even in our room?” Thomas asked, sort of anxious.  
“No way, we said we like spying something fun, not a cheesy porn!” Lukas struck back, chuckling.  
“Hey! It’s not cheesy!” Thomas protested, insulted.  
“But mostly it’s _not_ porn! “ Miro clarified, hugging Thomas. “There’s only true love between us.”  
“The truest ever!” Thomas beamed, kissing Miroslav’s nose and making the other two grimace for all that sappiness between the couple. “However, everything would be easier if you had put the perfect spy kit in your bags, instead of the useless soldier kit!” He made fun of them.  
  
“Hey! It’s not useless!” The older German protested.  
“You’re right. I’ve lost count of all the times a war has begun in these last weeks!” Thomas struck back pungently, rolling his eyes.  
“Well, my boy has a point…” Miro chuckled.  
“I just know that it’s surely not useless to me, because Basti is so damn sexy when he wears it that I just want to jump his bone until walking turns into a hard task for him for days!” Lukas revealed, winking at his lover.  
“And then you dare to say that we’re the ones making cheesy porn!” Miroslav made them notice, making his boyfriend giggle.  
  
“Whatever, the point is that we need a microphone and we don’t have one. I don’t even know if there’s a shop here around that sells such stuff.” Lukas grumbled.  
“You know what? Maybe we don’t need to buy one.” Bastian mumbled.  
  
A plan was running through his head and maybe it could have worked.  
  
“Luks, can you give me your iPhone?” He asked his boyfriend.  
“Sure, but… why?” Lukas wondered.  
“I’m going to use it like a sort of microphone. What if, with an excuse, I went back to their room, hid your iPhone there, after I had previously already connected with mine, and set the speaker on? So I can come back here and we could hear everything that happen in their room, listening to it with my iPhone.” The blond explained his idea.  
  
“Oh my, Basti, that’s brilliant!” Miroslav approved.  
“Oh gosh, Basti, I begin to believe you’re a secret agent in disguise for real!” Thomas commented.  
  
“See? My Schweini is full of hidden qualities!” Lukas declared, hugging his boyfriend proudly.  
“And according to what you said before one must be inside his pants!” Thomas teased him, making the younger Pole blush.  
  
“We’ll just have to avoid speaking near my iPhone, if we don’t want André and Toni to hear us as well.” Bastian tried to go back to the main topic.  
“Yeah, sure. But… why do you want just my iPhone?” Lukas wrinkled his nose.  
“Oh, c’mon, honey, you’re going to have it back, after we’re done with the spying. However, you’re not forced to do anything. After all, all I need is another mobile, so if you don’t agree I can ask for Miro’s or Thomas’s one.” Basti made him notice.  
“No, no, I want to be part of that.” Lukas protested, giving his iPhone to his lover. “Take it and complete the mission; but, please, be careful.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I begin to think that no one is around.” The blond informed him, calling his number and accepting the call, in order to connect the smart-phones and then he placed his own mobile on the armchair. “Maybe all the rest of the team are having for real that drink I babbled about before!” He chuckled, leaving the room and leaving his listeners a bit confused.  
  
It was just a matter of few minutes before he reached the aimed floor.  
He was walking towards Toni’s and André’s room, when he heard a familiar voice.  
  
“Basti?”  
  
He drew Lukas’ mobile out from his pocket.  
  
“Luks? What are you doing?”  
“Just some testing before we start. Can you hear Thomas and Miro talking?”  
“No.”  
“Alright, so they’re keeping at the right distance, but they can hear you, instead.”  
  
“That’s wonderful, but know reach them or keep silent, because I have some important work to do.” Bastian required, putting the phone back in the pocket and reaching his goal.  
  
Another knock at the door.  
  
“Bloody hell! Again? What’s wrong with the damn people today?” André snapped, rolling his eyes.  
“I don’t know, but let’s hope it’s something quick.” Toni groaned, covering the table once more.  
  
“Wasn’t all the team supposed to have a drink in the hall? No one should disturb us, then!” André snorted.  
“Maybe it’s not someone from our team; we just have to open to find out.” Toni got up, but he turned to André before reaching the door. “Wait!”  
  
“What?” The younger frowned.  
“Well, baby, I guess that you’d better wear your shirt again!” Toni chuckled.  
“Huh, right. And you should wear your Bermuda as well.” André suggested, while they both put their clothes back.  
  
Finally they were ready to open the door.  
  
“You!? Again! We’ve already told you that we don’t want to have that drink in the hall!” André snapped, glaring at Bastian, but letting him in the room anyway.  
“Yeah, I know, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m so sorry for annoying you again, but I’ve lost my bracelet and this is the last place I’ve been to, so I must have lost it while I was speaking to you.” Bastian tried to persuade them.  
  
“Well, we’re going to search for it later and we’ll bring it back to you for dinner.” Toni offered.  
“No, Toni, dinner would be too late. I need to find it now. It’s Lukas’ latest gift and I have to meet him in a while… and if he doesn’t see me wearing his bracelet he’ll make a fuss!” Bastian insisted.  
“Yeah, we know how Lukas is…” André rolled his eyes.  
  
“Are you sure you lost it just here?” Toni inquired.  
“Yep, probably it must have slipped under the sofa or under the carpet or wherever else. Can I look for it?” Bastian asked them.  
“Okay, but just be fast!” André gave in.  
  
“I’ll be a flash. You don’t even have to help me. Go back watching your match.” Bastian exhorted them, making the duo sit on the sofa.  
“Right, the match. Well, no, we need the right concentration for that. For now we’ll just simply watch TV random.” Toni justified with nonchalance, turning the TV on and zapping through the channels.  
  
Behind their back, Bastian had all the time to take Lukas’ iPhone and let it slide under the sofa.  
  
“Alright, guys, I‘ve found it. I told you I’d be fast.” The older informed them, pretending to put something inside his pocket.  
“Alright! So Princess Poldi won’t be mad at you!” Toni chuckled.  
“Yep, thanks again. Bye!” The Bavarian left their room, satisfied.  
  
He managed to be back to the others very quickly, but he found a pouting and insulted Lukas welcoming him.  
  
“ _Princess_ Poldi?” He retorted, crossing his arms against his chest. “And I never make a fuss about anything!” He whined, turning his back when Bastian tried to face his look.  
“Yep, exactly like you’re not making a fuss about this now!” Thomas sarcastically made him notice.  
  
“Guys! Try to be quieter if you plan to get closer to the iPhone, because something is already going on.” Miro informed them.  
  
Everyone placed closer to the iPhone.  
  
// “Time is running out, Toni.” André reminded his mate.  
“Okay, okay!” The older grunted. “That’s the only thing I can do.”  
André burst out laughing.  
“I can’t believe it. You just wrote ‘Igel’ placing your ‘I’ near the ‘Gel’ you wrote before!” //  
  
“I got it, they’re playing Scrabble!” Thomas figured out, speaking with the lowest tone possible. “So was just this all their big secret?”  
“This is not something they should be ashamed of; quite the contrary, it’s such a clever game to keep their mind well trained. I could even spare the ice bucket to them for this.” Miroslav whispered with a nod of approval.  
“No way, it can’t be only that!” Bastian groaned and then they all focused on the iPhone again.  
  
// “So, you scored only 4 lame points , while my ‘Richter’ makes me gain 24 points!” André cheered. “Okay, take the vest off… but don’t forget you had already lost your Bermuda shorts!” He reminded to the other. //  
  
Bastian got up and then gestured the others to reach them at the other corner of the room.  
  
“Strip-scrabble! That’s what those two are playing. That’s the big deal between them!” The older Bavarian realized.  
“So… even Toni and André… geez, I guess it will be easier to find out who is not having a back room deal in our team!” Miroslav grumbled.  
“Back room deal? Even my grandpa doesn’t use that word anymore!” Thomas made fun of his boyfriend.  
  
“Okay, now that we finally found out what’s going on, we can intervene. Basti and I will prepare the ice buckets, while you and Miro can persuade a receptionist to give you the master key for their room…” Lukas suggested.  
“Not so quickly. Let me try something first.” Thomas demanded, searching for something on his iPhone.  
  
“What are you planning?” Miro stared at him in disbelief.  
“I guess it’s time for them to hear us as well…” The youngest chuckled, walking closer the iPhone on the armchair and pressing the virtual button of his own iPhone.  
They all heard the noise of some glasses breaking.  
  
// “Wha… what the hell was that? Did you hear it, too?” Toni asked, uptight.  
“Yeah… maybe some glasses in the other room broke.” André replied calmly.  
“We didn’t leave any glasses in the other room. And the noise came from here… “ Toni struck back nervously. “Maybe it was a sign… we should stop this game… “  
“A sign of what? Don’t be ridiculous, you’re just finding lame excuses because I’m winning!” André retorted, before taking the tiles from the bag and inviting his boyfriend to do the same.//  
  
“Aha-ah, I’m scaring the shit out of Toni!” Thomas sneered. “And I have something else in store…”  
“Such as?” Lukas asked, intrigued. It looked like a rather funny prank.  
“Let’s let them have another round before.” The young Bavarian suggested.  
  
This time Toni managed to write a longer word, which made André take off his last shoe.  
  
Thomas searched for another horror effect and this time the unaware couple heard the creepy sound of ghost chains, with even creepier evil laughter in the background.  
  
// “Andreeé!” Toni whimpered, visibly agitated.  
“Calm down, baby, probably it was just the wind… or our imagination.” André tried to keep calm and rational.  
“Imagination my ass! There’s something here… and we made it angry!” The older babbled, almost crying.  
“What? It’s not that we played with a fucking Ouija table, we’re just playing scrabble and shit like that happens only in stupid horror movies!” André made him notice.  
“Mind your mouth! Do I have to remind you that in horror movies the skeptic guy is always the one who dies first?” Toni struck back. “We just have to stop playing and… leave this room as well!”  
“Don’t say such craps. Maybe it’s only the TV on in the room next to ours!” André found a believable explanation. “Now let’s just play!” //  
  
Thomas had to make a huge effort not to burst out laughing out loud and reveal his presence.  
  
“I can’t believe they’re really falling for that! Especially Toni is so gullible!” He chuckled, once he was far enough to do that.  
“Someone is watching too many ghost movies maybe!” Lukas giggled. “And we should take advantage of that!”  
  
“So, which other tricks do you have on your phone?” Basti asked.  
“The best one ever. I have an app to make distorted voice, it will be the grand final!” The youngest sneered.  
  
“How cool! You have to send it to me, then!” The older German required.  
“And to me, too, once I got my iPhone back!”  Lukas requested.  
  
“Well, not to me for sure. While you kids have your childish fun, I’ll try to get the master key!” Miroslav shrugged, leaving the room.  
  
“Opa can’t appreciate good pranks!” Basti rolled his eyes.  
“I’ll teach him how to do it, bit by bit. C’mon, the pranks with ice are already a huge progress!” Thomas chuckled.  
  
By the time Miro was back, Thomas had already shared his funny app with Bastian, but they had decided to let Toni and André keep playing undisturbed and that had calmed Toni down a lot.  
  
“Okay, so we got the master key card, we got the ice buckets… let’s go!” Miro exhorted the others, pressing the ‘mute’ button on the iPhone, in order to prevent André and Toni to hear their movements.  
  
When they reached their room, Miro annulled the mute effect.  
At the other side of the door, Toni and André were going on with their game.  
  
“See, baby? It was only stupid suggestion. Nothing ‘paranormal’ has happened again in the last fifteen minutes.” André chuckled.  
“Yeah, it seems so.” Toni commented, much more relieved.  
  
“I can’t believe it, you managed to write ‘ _Gespenst_ ’!” The younger said, sort of bothered.  
“Well, the situation was inspiring. Besides, I really needed to win; you were taking me off way too much stuff!” The older giggled.  
“Oh, is it such a bad thing, honey?” André purred, sliding closer to Toni and kissing him good and proper.  
  
And then it happened.  
  
First, they heard the awful ghostly chains again and then someone spoke with a bloodcurdling, unnatural voice.  
  
// “I know what you’re doing!”//  
  
“To-To-Toni… did you hear that, too?” André asked for confirmation, startling and parting from his lover.  
“Ma-may-maybe it was ju-just the- the wind!” Toni babbled, trying to act rationally.  
“Wind does not talk! Holy shit, baby, you were right. There’s something wrong here.” The younger whimpered.  
  
// “How do you dare? Hiding from everyone to do such shameful stuff in my hotel? You’re going to pay a hard price for your amoral impudence!” //  
  
This time the voice was a tad different, but equally terrifying.  
And then there was a noise of breaking glasses again.  
  
Toni and André were practically hugging each other tightly, almost crying.  
  
“Oh God, Toni, we must get out of here!” André urged his boyfriend, rushing towards the door with him.  
  
// “I guess it’s too late for that!” // a third creepy voice said, laughing evilly.  
  
And then the scared couple heard multiple banging at their door, before seeing the handle being pulled down.  
  
“Shit! Fucking shit! Someone, HELP!” André screamed, almost tempted to jump from the window, before recalling that they were on sixth floor and probably it wouldn’t have been the safest thing to do.  
  
Toni had lost the ability of utter words and he just confined himself to screaming, until the door finally opened.  
And Toni’s and André’s sight went blank.  
Yes, because all the icy water that fell over them prevented them from keeping their eyes open.  
  
But they could clearly hear someone laughing.  
And they were beautifully normal, human laughter.  
  
“What the fu…?” André grumbled, trying to open his eyes and focalize who were surrounding them.  
  
Toni still couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes. He didn’t understand why he was feeling so freezing cold, he just kept burying his head under Andre’s armpit.  
  
“Are we already dead? That’s why we’re so cold?” Toni whimpered, hugging André even tighter.  
“Nope, it’s just that we have the most awful, bastard and annoying teammates ever!” André explained, glaring at their crowd. “C’mon, dear, trust me, you can open your eyes.” He sweetly exhorted his partner.  
  
“Yep, Toni, just avoid watching a certain kind of movies if then they scare you so badly!” Thomas made fun of him.  
That was what it took for Toni to open his eyes again.  
  
“Why are you here, guys? Huh! Wait. So... it was only a joke! The most hateful and bastard joke ever!” Toni growled. “But a joke, nonetheless! Just… how?” He wondered, while André provided towels from both of them.  
  
“You know, it’s really easy when you hide here tools like this!” Lukas explained, taking his iPhone from the sofa.  
“You!” André hissed, pointing at Bastian “There wasn’t any stupid bracelet to search in our room, then!”  
“Oh, you're so smart, my friend!” The older blond chuckled. “Let’s just say that it was very easy to create the proper atmosphere, thanks to Thomas’ amazing ringtones effect!” He explained.  
  
“Yep, did you like my voice distorter? Actually, you heard in the current order, Basti's, mine and Lukas’ performance!” He explained, proudly.  
  
“Yep, but not mine, I didn’t agree on this second prank. I was up only for the main one.” Miro confessed, still holding the now empty bucket with a pleased smirk.  
  
“I don’t give a damn if I’m cold and freezing … I’m alive!” Toni grinned, too relieved even to be pissed off.  
  
“And you don’t even give a damn to the fact that you've been caught off-guard, in the middle of a very awkward situation?” Lukas asked, pointing at their outfit.  
  
Or rather what remained of that.  
  
Their game had gone on for so long that André only wore dark blue boxers and a white tie, while Toni wore his shoes, his black shirt… and nothing else. Lucky for him, the shirt was long enough to cover his bared virility.  
  
“Okay, we found out our secret, so what? Even Lukas and Basti are together and no one has ever made a fuss over that!” André grumbled.  
  
“Just please… don’t tell a soul about us, we prefer to remain…unnoticed.” Toni pleaded.  
“Okay, your secret is safe.” Thomas guaranteed.  
After all, he knew a thing or two about couples who still wanted to remain hidden.  
  
“But, please, guys. Strip-scrabble? There are so many funnier things to do, such as strip-Twister. But we should play all together!” The young Bavarian suggested.  
“Oh yeah, that’s nothing better than a group of tangled bodies who wear less and less clothes!” Bastian approved.  
  
Toni and André were still to stunned to reply, Lukas seemed intrigued, but Miroslav just had to make his point clear.  
  
“Geez, guys, this is so gross! How can you have such ideas?” He grimaced.  
  
Thomas just giggled, sticking his tongue out at him.  
  
“Well, Opa, that would strengthen the team spirit for sure!”  
  
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really apologize for all this crack!  
> I don’t even know where this idea came from, maybe it’s because I’ve been through an awesome ‘Paranormal Activity’ full marathon and these are the results! XD
> 
> It’s just that I find the idea of Toni being so influenced by these movies and a more rational André too cute not to give it a try. 
> 
> Well, do you agree with Thomas and Basti? Should our guys play some strip-Twister? ;P  
> Oh, right, just a few helpful notes: Gespenst means ‘Ghost’ (bless Italian/Deutch dictionary XD ) and // ….. // where the part the characters could hear with the iPhone, I hope it’s clear ;)
> 
> Well, if I made you smile at least once and you want to make me smile as well, leave a comment, even a very tiny one can make my day ^^ also kudos are loved ^^  
> But thanks for your time anyway.
> 
> I don’t know it this makes you happy, but in next chapter (c’mon, hold on, the story is almost over) Manu and Fips will be back ;P
> 
> Bye and goodnight, it’s pretty late


	9. VIII: I have a bad feeling...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there’s too much stuff happening in this chapter to sum it up in just one sentence XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo,  
> sorry for late and sorry if this chapter is too long, if you find it too boring to read, I swear I’ll stick to shorter chapters next time ^^’
> 
> Thank you all for your support and amazing comments, I’m stunned <3  
> Hope you’ll still stick around ;)
> 
> Not beta-ed, sorry for my mistakes

   
“No way, we’re not forced to do anything!” André retorted resolutely.  
“Oh, c’mon, so far no one wanted to tell us how things started between them. Please, be an exception!” Lukas pleaded.  
“No one… who?” Toni grew curious.  
“Let’s just say that our team is full of lovely pairing everywhere, much more that you can guess.” Bastian hinted.  
  
“You’re bluffing!” Toni struck back, in disbelief.  
“Well, I can understand if you don’t want to believe our word, because Basti and I are Die Mannschaft’s pest and everything…” Lukas stated with a certain pride. “And Thomas is a full-time clown; but you’ll surely believe Miroslav’s word, he’s such a serious man!” He added.  
  
“He’s still holding the damn buck, for God’s sake!” André snapped, pointing at the elder Pole.  
“Well, yeah, but save for this little, irrelevant prank, he’s a very serious guy!” Thomas defended him.  
“So, Miro, can you confirm that Lukas and Basti are telling the truth?” Toni asked him.  
“Yes, I can. Trust me, for once, they’re not lying to us.” Miro nodded.  
  
“Well, if you are so curios, we can tell you what we know, on one condition: you’ll have to tell us more about you.” Bastian suggested.  
“So would you really reveal such stuff to us if we revealed a little more stuff about how, where and when we ended up together?” André questioned them, in disbelief.  
“And, for the record, how many pairings are we talking about?” Toni asked them with fake nonchalance.  
“More than four ones.” Miroslav replied.  
  
“Oh, wait, sure; save for Marco and Mario, also because there’s only half of the pairing here. And Sami and Mesut, too, not to mention Basti and Poldi!” André figured out, sort of bored.  
“Still more than four couples, even without them.” Thomas grinned. “And I’ll tell you even more: Sami and Mesut weren’t even a couple before we set a prank for them.”  
“No way, you’re kidding!” André accused him, while Toni’s mouth was open and shaped into a ‘O’ of pure astonishment.  
“Believe us, they were clearly crazy for each other but didn’t know about that and… Thomas and I sort of helped them figure that out. So, if they weren’t before, probably they’re officially together now.” Miroslav explained, smiling satisfied.  
  
“What? I want to know more about that!” Toni protested.  
“We already revealed too much, this way you already know about one of the pairings and we didn’t get anything in exchange!” Lukas complained, rolling his eyes.  
“Well, it doesn’t count, because Toni and André already considered Sami and Mesut a couple, although they weren’t.” Thomas pointed out.  
“That’s right; besides, there’s still so much stuff we can lure them with. So, Toni, you said you want to know more. You can, but, you know, there’s only a little price to pay.” Bastian spurred him.  
  
“No way, we won’t tell you anything about us, no matter what!” André insisted.  
“Huh, okay, I can understand. Sometimes there are couples who don’t want to reveal much about themselves or who don’t want even to be discovered. I respect your choice.” Miroslav nodded.  
“Thanks for your comprehension, Opa. Now, please, all of you, leave our room and leave us alone!” André exhorted them and the four intruders obeyed.  
   
“Phew, André, we could have told them something, after all. They already found out that we are together, so it wouldn’t be such a great deal.” Toni stated, locking the door.  
“No bloody way, it’s none of their business!” André struck back.  
  
“But I wanted to know all the spicy stuff about the others!” Toni whined, pouting like a spoiled kid. “Do you have any idea of who they could be?”  
“Nope, but just like they did, we could find that out on our own. Maybe we could ask Mats and Benni to help us.” The younger suggested.  
“This is such a brilliant idea!” The other approved, grinning. “But we’d better be careful not to let Philipp know about this. He wouldn’t be happy for sure if he knew about the secret love stuff that happens in his team.” He added.  
“You’re right, he’d never do something like this, so he couldn’t ever accept the relationships that were born in die Mannschaft.” André stated. “Even Miro didn’t seem happy about it, he was so uncomfortable speaking about that.”  
“Probably Lukas, Basti and Thomas must have found a way to blackmail him and force him to collaborate with them.” Toni hypothesized.  
  
They were miles away from the truth, but at least they had the right spirit to start their researches.  
   
“What about you, baby? You remember how things started between us, don’t you?” Toni murmured, letting his hands sink into André’s still drenched hair.  
"What? Do you think that I didn't want to tell us about them because I don't remember how everything started?" André figured out, amused.  
"Maybe..." Toni shrugged, acting insulted.  
   
André chuckled, hugging him from behind.  
   
"Honey, how could I ever forget? That friendly match against Sweden, my very first time in the major Mannschaft. I was nervous as hell and then you came to me in the lockers, saying that everything would be okay. I still remember your smile, the heat of your hand on my shoulder, the way your eyes were shining." He murmured in his ear, holding his boyfriend tighter.  
   
"It was impossible for me not to try to calm you down. You looked scared and lost like a little lamb. And you were so impossibly cute." Toni smiled, turning and finding his lover’s lips for a long kiss.  
   
"Maybe I looked cute to you, but you looked like a hero to me. You, Toni Kroos, who had already played in the World Cup in South Africa, that summer. You were speaking to me and you seemed to emanate self confidence from every inch of your perfect body." The younger confessed.  
   
Toni giggled, blushing a little.  
   
"Really? But you had never told me before..."  
"I'm telling you now." André smirked. "And that helped me a lot, I finally was ready for that match."  
"Actually, nothing big happened, the match ended with a draw, with no goals for anyone." Toni reminded to him.  
"Yeah, but the big stuff happened at the end of that... the way you grabbed my arm and dragged me to the lockers, with said self confidence... " André beamed.  
"Yeah, I took you far from everyone, then we stared at each other and... words weren't needed anymore. I kissed you and you kissed me back with such a passion..." Toni recalled, caressing André 's hand.  
"Then we parted from each other after something like an eternity and you exclaimed "I'm not gay!", with deep concern on your features, then I burst out laughing and replied "Neither am I!" and kissed you once more." André added, kissing Toni in the process.  
"And that lead you to spend the night in my room. The first of a very long series." Toni smirked, entwining their fingers.  
   
André enjoyed the moment and then jolted, staring at their sofa.  
   
"What?" The elder wondered.  
   
"Wait, it's not that Basti&Co put another Smartphone under it... is it?" The other mumbled.  
   
Toni left his hand only to approach to the sofa and, very slowly and prudently, he bent down, looking under it.  
   
"Nope, there's nothing here." He sighed with relief.  
"Thanks god, I don't even want to think about what would have happened if they had heard us..." André grumbled.  
   
"I know, but, relax, our secret is safe." Toni smiled, coming back to him.  "But now it's time to find out about the others' secrets!" He spurred the other.  
"That's right, baby. I also want to know about all the things those four did to the others." The younger muttered.  
"Why, don't you think we're the only victims?" The elder frowned, while they both dried themselves up better, before putting their clothes on.  
"Nope, they seemed well too organised; it's evident that they are in a sort of mission and won't stop until they get everyone." André figured out.  
   
"Well, but I bet that none of our mates will get a ghost prank!" Toni grinned.  
"Well, I don't think that's something to be proud of!" The younger rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "C'mon, let's go, maybe we're still in time to save someone from their clutches." He added, feeling like a sort of good hero who fights the villains.  
   
He was about to reach the door, but Toni stopped him, tugging his shirt.  
   
"Not so fast, Superman! Aren't you forgetting anything?" He wondered with a little pout, his eyes pleading his partner with expectation.  
"Oh, sure, sorry..." André purred, bending over him for a sweet kiss.  
"Mm.... that's better, now we can go!" Toni smirked, satisfied, leaving with his boyfriend.  
   
*************************************** (In the meantime)  
   
Bastian and Lukas followed Miroslav and Thomas, until they reached their room.  
   
"Okay, guys, see you at dinner!" Miro politely greeted them, opening the door.  
"Wait, does it mean that you're going to let us go back in our room?" The younger Pole protested.  
"All alone?" Bastian groaned.  
   
"Yep, pretty much!" Thomas grinned. "Oh, c'mon, guys, there's only half an hour before dinner, I'm sure you won't have any unpleasant meeting."  
"Yeah and even if you do, you're big enough to deal with the consequences!" Miroslav added, before slamming the door in their face.  
   
“So, I guess that we should go back to our room...” Lukas said, gulping.  
“Yeah, no one walked around the corridors so far, why should it happen now?” Bastian grumbled, more to convince himself than his lover, while he was heading towards the elevator with him.  
   
“Yeah, right, but if something happens, you must protect me!” The Pole requested.  
“Sure, but... hey! Why me and not the other way round?” The German protested.  
   
“Well, for an endless list of reason. To begin with, you’re the older, so you must give me protection.” Lukas justified, making puppy eyes at him. “Besides, the stupid idea of the swimming pool multiple prank and all the trouble it caused is yours!”  
“First, my idea was anything but stupid! And, please, Luks, correct me if I’m wrong, who had the brilliant idea to take that selfie and then published in every social network?” The blond retorted, while they stepped out from the elevator and walked through the corridors of their floor.  
   
“It wasn’t in every social network, only on Twitter and I didn’t do it on purpose!” The younger defended himself. “Well, you must protect me ... because I asked you first!” He added.  
   
Bastian narrowed his eyes at him.  
   
“What kind of stupid reasons is it?”  
“Huh, okay, then. Protect me because... oh, right, I have a son, so I can’t die, while you have no one who would mourn your death!” Lukas struck back.  
“Oh, very nice of you! Words coming from the man who is supposed to love me!” Bastian muttered, acting insulted.  
   
“Oh, c’mon, Basti, you know I love you so impossibly much and would throw myself in the flames for you... “ Lukas replied, making the German smile. “But not this time! I guess we went way too far, I’m scared as hell and I need protection, pretty please?” He pleaded.  
   
Bastian beamed, wrapping him into his strong arms.  
“You can count on that, honey. I’ll always protect you.” He assured, giving his partner a little kiss, before finally reaching their room, feeling safe and sound.  
   
******************************  
   
"Finally alone again!" Thomas rejoiced.  
"They're great guys, but they can become sort of sticky." Miro asserted, sitting on the sofa.  
"So, there's still time before dinner... any idea of what could we do?" Thomas chirped, sitting close to his boyfriend.  
"Well, there's something we can do... actually, all that issue with André and Toni inspired me." Miro confessed, switching the TV on and searching through the channels.  
   
"I knew it! You want to play strip scrabble, don't you?" The younger grinned madly. "Too bad we don't have that game, but I can create it with paper or.."  
"Although I'd really appreciate to see you working for that, that's not what I meant." The elder stopped him. "It's their excuse to avoid Basti that inspired me; I guess it's a great idea to do an extra study of our adversaries' strategies." He clarified. "That's it, here's there's a rerun of Brazil's last match. It's second half, but we have time to see it 'till the end, before dinner. We're lucky." He turned to his beloved, smiling.  
"Honey, we definitely have to redefine the concept of luck!" Thomas groaned, rolling his eyes.  
"Shut up and pay attention; since you already know Dante and I know Hernanes pretty well, we should concentrate on the others." The Pole instructed him.  
"Miro, we're still in time for playing strip scrabble, c'mon, think about it, I'll concede you some advantage, I'll accept words in Polish, even in Italian!" The Bavarian insisted, making him laugh.  
"Nice try, baby, but it's not going to work. Now behave and watch the match!" Miroslav urged him.  
   
Thomas snorted at little but then he smiled.  
After all, no matter what, as long as he was with his Miro he was happy.  
   
"You know, if we find a toy store, we can buy a scrabble box and play before sleeping... whatever version of it you prefer." The Pole suggested, without taking his eyes off of the screen.  
   
Thomas' smile grew even wider.  
   
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
   
 It was dinner time and as prudent as squirrels Lukas and Bastian reached the dining room, almost repenting for that when they realized that Joachim wasn't there yet. He meant their salvation because no one would have dared to make a scene in front of him; but without their coach there Lukas and Bastian were at everyone's mercy.  
Someone was still missing, but who they saw didn't make them feel relieved, because there were Benedikt, Mats and a relevant part of the crew at the swimming pool.  
   
   
  "Dammit, Basti, I knew it was too early... let's go back before someone sees us." Lukas pleaded, nervous.  
"I'm afraid it's too late, Roman and Ron-Robert are already heading towards us." Bastian murmured, sort of scared.  
   
"Hey, you two! We've been looking for you since this afternoon!" said the first goalkeeper.  
 "Oh, really?" Lukas asked with fake astonishment, chuckling nervously.  
"Don't you even dare pretending that you don't remember what you did!" The second goalkeeper hissed, while he and Roman took a step closer to them.  
   
"Wait; let's talk about before acting too instinctively!" Bastian pleaded, placing ahead of Lukas and opening his arms wide, in an attempt to protect him.  
   
After all, he had made a promise.  
   
"It was such a great joke! So well planned in every detail!" Roman congratulated.  
"That's right; besides, it was just what we needed in such a hot day!" Ron-Robert added, chuckling.  
"Not to mention the masks, that was a great idea!" Jerome, added, since he had heard their discussion and wanted to participate.  
   
Lukas hesitantly leant from Bastian's shoulder.  
   
"Wait... aren't you angry with us?" He wondered.  
"Not even a little bit?" Bastian added, as stunned as his lover.  
   
"Nope, that was fun!" Per said, reaching the group.  
"No wait, I still have your death-threatening tweet!" Lukas jolted, pointing at the oldest. "You, Jerome and Roman were the most pissed off."  
"Oh, but that was just something that I wrote in the heat of the moment..." Per justified.  
"Or rather in the _freezing cold_ of the moment!" Jerome corrected him, giggling, while Roman confined himself only to nodding.  
"We can recognize when a joke is fun and bearable and this one definitely was." Ron-Robert confirmed.  
   
Bastian and Lukas were still incredulous and then they saw even Benni and Mats reaching the group.  
   
"Yeah, that’s right, we had a solitary version of that prank, but it was equally well done." Mats asserted and Benedikt nodded.  
   
Lukas and Bastian beamed in response, , before reaching their table.  
   
"Does it mean that we actually managed to bring some sense of humour in our team?" Lukas whispered to Bastian, amused.  
"Yeah, it seems so. Our lifetime mission is accomplished!" His boyfriend grinned.  
   
After few minutes, when also Miroslav and Thomas arrived, Lukas and Bastian ran into them.  
   
"How can it be that Jogi is not here yet and you're still alive? That _we_ are still alive?" Thomas wondered in awe, taking a look around.  
"Guess what, guys? Apparently our teammates enjoyed the prank. At least, our victims did, but probably it's the same for yours, too." The younger Pole informed them, still grinning like an idiot.  
   
"Actually we met Erik and Christoph in the elevator and they just giggled, recalling the ice bucket and swearing that they are going to keep that secret; but we thought they were just an exception..." The elder Pole mumbled.        
 "Well, just have a walk around the tables and ask what the others think about it." Bastian suggested.  
  
"Hey guys, great joke in the stationary bike room!" Sami smiled, waving his hand at them.  
"Yeah, it was unexpected, but funny and refreshing!" Mesut giggled.  
   
Thomas and Miroslav could clearly see them holding their hands while they spoke.  
Also Mario greeted them cheerfully, before they reached their table.  
   
"Well, my dear, it seems that a warm shower is all it takes to our people to regain their good mood and forget everything." Miroslav figured out, pleasantly amazed.  
   
"I don't think so. Mesut and Sami were just grateful  to us for what we helped them figure out, Mario always smiles, Chris and Erik were the exceptions that confirms the rule... well, see? Toni and André pretended not to see us, nor Basti and Poldi!" Thomas made him notice, still in utter diffidence.  
"It's only because the prank they endured is still fresh... let's give them some time..." Miro justified their friends.  
   
"Okay, but Manu and Fips were our second victims, so, if your theory is right,  they should have already forgiven us." Thomas struck back.  
"Well, you can go asking them even now, they're coming." The Pole informed him.  
   
He was right. The Captain and the main goalkeeper entered the room with Löw and Hansi.  
   
Everyone was there, dinner could finally start.  
   
But before eating, Thomas drew Fips' and Manu's attention.  
   
“Hey, guys, did you mind our little prank to you, this morning?” The Bavarian casually asked.  
   
“What? Huh, right, this morning. I’m so ecstatic that I barely remember it.” Fips confessed, with a big smile.  
   
“That’s right, after this afternoon nothing can ruin my mood!” Manuel asserted, grinning as well.  
   
“Oh, dear Lord.  You aren’t telling us that you left your room only now... are you?” Miroslav figured out, sort of astounded.  
   
“Of course, we’ve finished only a few minutes ago.” Philipp confirmed.  
   
“Just in time for dinner!” Manu giggled, feeling very hungry.  
   
“Without even taking a shower?” Thomas wondered, looking at them with a disgusted face.  
   
“Nope. Why? We didn’t sweat that much after all...” Manuel babbled, confused, quickly sniffing his armpits and reassuring himself he smelled good.  
   
“Do you want to see the final outcome of our day?” Philipp offered.  
   
“Eewww, no, never!” Lukas answered for everyone, reaching them with Bastian.  
   
“Does it mean that you guys even dared to conserve a memory of what you did today?” Miroslav wondered, more and more stunned.  
   
“Sure we did, it would be pointless, otherwise!” Manuel replied, scratching his head.  
   
“And what did you do? Did you film yourselves?” Thomas investigated.  
   
“What? No, that would be a tad exaggerated; we just filled the album, do you want to see that?” Philipp clarified, feeling as confused as Manuel.  
   
“An album? You... fill an album with that... every time?” Bastian questioned him, in deep shock.  
“Huh, nope, not every time... only this time. We tried other times, but there was always something missing... probably Brazil had brought us good luck!” Manuel grinned.  
   
“Manu is right, so do you want to see that or not?” Philipp offered again.  
   
“Stop asking us that! We don’t want to see such indecent stuff!” Thomas grimaced, along with the others.  
   
“Why not? We worked hard for that!” Philipp insisted, rather annoyed.  
   
“Damn right! And there were risky moments, too, such as when I put it in the wrong place and it got stuck, but luckily at the end we managed to remove it without breaking it!” Manuel recalled, relieved.  
   
“For God’s sake, guys! We’re about to eat and hearing about this sickening stuff will make me lose my appetite!” Miroslav groaned.  
   
Manuel and Philipp exchanged a puzzled look.  
   
“So you don’t want us to show you, you don’t want us to talk to you about that...” The Captain recapped, snorting. “And to think that we happened to think about you, too, according to the moments...”  
   
“Yep, all of you, even more than once!” Manuel confirmed, nodding proudly.  
   
“Eewww! I don’t you to think about me or Luks while you do... that!” Bastian hissed, horrified.  
   
“Well, it that comforts you, we have thought more or less about all the National teams involved in this World Cup.”  The goalkeeper informed him.  
   
“Geez, you’re so filthy!” Thomas accused them.  
   
“You know, having all this sexual fantasies is a clear sign that there are some troubles in your relationship if you need such expedients to revive the passion!” Miroslav stated.  
   
“Hey! We don’t need to revive any-bloody-thing! The flame of our passion still burns!” Philipp snapped, hugging Manuel.  
   
“Fips is absolutely right. By the way, what’s the connection between collecting trading cards and... having sexual problems?” Manu wondered, at the apex of confusion.  
   
“Trading cards? That’s what you were talking about?” Lukas figured out.  
   
“Sure it is! We didn’t do anything else all day through... “ Manuel replied.  
   
“Well, after making love this morning.” Philipp clarified, smirking, before realizing something. “Wait, that’s it! You thought we were talking about sex, like you  thought we were doing phone sex  when you called us!”  
   
“So you weren’t having phone-sex? Thanks god!” Miroslav mumbled, relieved.  
   
Lucky for the six guys, no one was raising the tone of their voice, so no one else around could hear them.  
The other teammates, Löw and  Hansi could only see them gesticulate frantically while they talked.  
   
“No! Of course we weren’t! Oh, good Lord, how can you think such awful things about us?” Manuel snapped, indignant.  
   
“Well, you gave us and endless list of clues to think that...” Thomas confessed and the other three ruefully nodded.  
   
“You know what, guys? If you all couldn’t help jumping to such dirty conclusions, it’s _you_ who have a twisted, kinky mind!” Manuel accused them, before leaving with an equally insulted Philipp.  
   
Lukas and Bastian went back to their table and shortly after the waiters started to bring the dishes.  
   
“Well, at least Manu and Fips weren’t pissed off for the joke, but not they are for this little misunderstanding!” Thomas muttered, playing with the fork.  
   
He was actually poking his steak, studying his steamed potatoes as well.  
   
“What’s wrong, honey?” Miroslav asked him, while he was cutting his own steak.  
   
All those pranks had made him pretty hungry.  
   
“I don’t know, I have a bad feeling... everything is going too fine... everything is just too perfect... it’s like the quiet before the storm!” The younger explained.  
   
“So what? Do you think that they are playing nice with us and then... I don’t know... they poisoned our food?” Miroslav joked about it, chuckling.  
   
Too bad that Thomas took it very seriously.  
   
“Geez, that’s it! It would explain why everyone is so kind with us...” He stated, staring suspiciously at the steaks.  
   
“Oh, c’mon, Thomas, they would never do such a thing!” Miroslav tried to reason with him.  
   
“Why don’t you eat your steak then?” The Bavarian challenged him.  
   
Without any fear, Miroslav ate a piece of meat and pleasantly chewed it.  
   
“It’s simply fantastic.” He declared.  
   
“Okay, now taste the potatoes, too.” The other spurred him.  
   
The Pole obeyed and smiled satisfied again.  
   
“Are you okay with that now?”  
   
“Of course I’m not! Would you taste my steak, too?” Thomas pleaded him, feeling more and more paranoid.  
Rolling his eyes, Miroslav cut Thomas’ steak and tasted a piece.  
   
“See, baby? Nothing is happen...” The elder tried to calm him down, before coughing and trying to breathe, as if he was suffocating.  
   
“Oh my god, Miro!” Thomas freaked out, seeing Miro coughing once more and falling on the floor, passed out.  
   
Thomas was torn between remaining there, paralyzed or getting up and asking for anyone’s help.  
   
Also the teammates at the tables near them were heading there, concerned, before Miro quietly got up.  
   
“I apologize if I made you worry, people, but I was just teaching Thomas a good lesson!” He explained, speaking mainly to their coach who briefly glared at them and then shrugged.  
   
The others went back to their tables, while Thomas had figured out everything.  
   
“Hey, you weren’t funny at all!” He hissed, glaring at his boyfriend.  
   
“Well, have a taste of your own medicine, honey!” Miro struck back. “Now, just eat your _not poisoned_ dinner and shut up!” He spurred him and it worked.  
   
\------------------------------------------------------  
   
Hard to believe, but they finally managed to complete their dinner and at the end of that, all the team reunited in the hall, before deciding how to spend the night.  
   
“I guess that you guys will be rather tired after all those pranks.” Jerome commented, turning to the four pranksters in question.  
   
“Well, not so much, after all...” Lukas shrugged.  
   
“You’re right; after all you didn’t do anything special today. Each of us could be capable of that.” Ron-Robert asserted.    
   
“The real proof of braveness would be to prank Joachim, or even Hansi...” Per suggested casually.  
   
“That’s right, that would be the most epic joke ever!” Sami approved.  
   
“What? Joachim? Are you nuts? We should have a death wish to do such a thing!” Bastian shook his head.  
   
“Chickens!” Mesut teased them, making the chicken sound in the process.  
   
“It’s not about to be chickens, it’s about to be clever!” Lukas protested and Bastian nodded.  
   
Sami, Mats, Benedikt and Mario started to make chicken sounds as well.  
   
“Lukas is right, hitting Jogi would be far away from our range. We have our limits after all...” Thomas recognized, silently wishing that those chicken sounds would stop, they were becoming very annoying.  
“Okay, we can do that.” Miroslav asserted, silencing everyone.  
   
“What? Really?” Jerome asked him, stunned.  
   
“You heard me. I accept the challenge.” Miroslav retorted.  
   
“Well, don’t count on us, we prefer to live a long life!” Bastian protested and Lukas nodded in approval.  
   
“But you can count on me, Miro. Always.” Thomas smiled at him.  
   
“That’s it. Tomorrow. During the training. That’s when your prank is going to happen.” Per decided.  
   
“Fine. We’ll invent something.” Miro informed them.  
   
“Yeah, it will be something great, at least the next three generations will talk about it!” Thomas swore.  
   
All the others left satisfied, only Bastian and Lukas remained with them.  
   
“Geez, guys, you have just signed your death execution. Are you aware of that?” Bastian grumbled, sort of concerned.  
   
“You’re just envious because Miro and I are going to rewrite the prank history tomorrow!” Thomas declared, with a huge grin.  
   
“We are going to write your epitaphs, instead!” Lukas struck back, leaving with his boyfriend.  
   
“I’m glad to see you so excited for that!” Miro chuckled.  
   
“What the hell are you blathering about? I’m fucking terrified, but I didn’t want to show it to Basti, Lukas or anyone else!” The younger confessed. “But even if I have a bad feeling, I’m not going to abandon you, honey.” He smiled at his partner, holding his hands.  
   
“Oh, Thomas, I acted without thinking, those chicken sounds were driving me insane, I just wanted to make them stop.” Miroslav revealed, hugging him. “But I don’t want to put you in danger, maybe you should stay out of this.”  
   
“No way, honey. We are together. We are a couple. This means that your joys are my joys, as well as your troubles are my troubles. And whatever there is, we’re going to face it together.” Thomas assured.  
   
“Oh, Müllie...” Miroslav murmured, before taking advantage of that temporary isolated area and kissing him.  
   
“Okay, now let’s go back to our room, we have to plot something huge for tomorrow!” The Bavarian grinned, dragging the Pole away with him.  
   
Miroslav sighed relieved.  
   
\- _It seems that finally he forgot about the strip scrabble thing_!-  
   
**************************  
   
After getting sure that even Bastian and Lukas had took a different direction, all the others headed towards their coach.  
   
“Mister, we succeeded. They took the bait. Well, only Miro and Thomas did.” Erik informed him.  
   
“Weird, I was sure that Podolski and Schweinsteiger would. Anyway, that won’t save them either.” Joachim muttered.  
   
“You did the rightist thing informing us about what happened today.” Hansi stated, turning to all the players. “Tomorrow all of them will pay for that! Jogi has a wonderful plan. You’ll find out that he’s much more than a wonderful coach!” He added, looking at the oldest with devotion and admiration.  
   
“Can’t wait for tomorrow!” André rejoiced and all the others cheered in response.  
   
“Patience, my guys. Like I told you before, revenge is a dish best served cold.” Their coach sneered.  
   
“Do you mean even colder than their ice-buckets?” Roman wondered, uncertain.  
   
Löw rolled his eyes  
   
“That was only a metaphor, Weidenfeller!”  
   
   
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did you expect it?  
> After all, no matter how much I love them , Miro and Thom (along with Basti and Lukas) MUST be punished ;P
> 
> Don’t miss next chapter, the last one :P
> 
> At least 40% of the stuff in this chapter wasn’t planned, hope you didn’t mind ^^’
> 
> Take all the time you need, but pleeeease, if you’re still reading, give me a little sign you’re still here, even the tiniest one would make me smile :)


	10. IX: You reap what you sow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tags already say everything!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heelloooo? ^^’  
> I know I’m shamefully late, but I’ve had the hugest writer’s block ever in my life and even after that it took me forever to write this last chapter.  
> But it turned so long and full of events (and tons of unplanned stuff, lol) that I really hope you’ll forgive me .. sure, if there’s still someone who remembers this crazy, crazy story.  
> Not betaed and very quickly re-read, I apologize for awful mistakes..

“Okay, I got it!” Thomas said, after a long moment of deep concentration. “You just have to switch the positions of these two, move the one on the left corner up to the middle of first row and change the one in that box! And we’re done!” he gave the instruction to Miro, snatching the block notes from his hands and writing with a pen what he was saying.  
Once he finished, he showed proudly the result to Miro.  
  
“Geez, I can’t believe it, you solved the problem!” the Pole asserted, astonished. “That’s the fifth square you’ve solved in a row!”  
“Exactly, my dear… while you have solved only one so far!” Thomas chuckled.  
  
“Let me enjoy my trophy!” Miro struck back, holding tight Thomas’ baseball cap.  
“It’s time to pocket my last reward!” the younger sneered, liking his lips in anticipation, while he waved Miro’s shirt, Bermuda shorts, watch and necklace in front of his defeated boyfriend. “Boxers. Now! Hand them to me!” he spurred him, stretching his hand.  
  
“Rules must be obeyed.” Miroslav grumbled, taking off the very last garment that was covering his body and throwing it to Thomas.  
  
“Just tell me, Thomas… you know, Sudoku is well known to be a logic game that request lots of patience, concentration… calm,” Miro paused, in order to give more emphasis to the second part of his sentence. “How the hell can you be so good at it?” he frowned at his boyfriend.  
“I would become an Olympic Champion of every discipline that gets me to have you naked at my whole disposal!” Thomas winked at him. “You know, you promised me a Strip Scrabble match, too bad we didn’t find any scrabble box… but you have a brain teasers book that contains also Sudoku… and I have oh so much fantasy!” he chuckled, ready to straddle the Pole.  
  
“And it proved to be a very intriguing game, my dear. Maybe we should let Toni and André know about it.” Miro suggested.  
“No way! Let’s leave them to their oh so pleasant Strip Scrabble! There’s no need to share our new sexy game!” Thomas protested, before becoming thoughtful. “Sure, unless…”  
“Unless what, Thomas?” Miro interrogated him with his look.  
  
He had the slight feeling he already knew the answer.  
“Unless they agree to play with us at Strip Twister!” the Bavarian grinned.  
“Again with this story?” Miro rolled his eyes, trying to break free, but Thomas was holding him quite tight among his muscular thighs, unfortunately still covered by his shorts.  
  
“Oh, c’mon, Klosie, it would be so much fun. Of course, the more, the merrier! Well, Luks and Basti would be into it for sure, Mesut and Sami, as a new couple, could like some spice right at the beginning of their relationship … maybe it would be too much for the youngest ones… but Fips and Manu wouldn’t lose the chance to participate, they’re so damn kinky!” Thomas already daydreamed, straddling his ‘prisoner’ a little bit more, in order to make him moan.  
  
“We’ll see…” the Pole surrendered. “Well, Müllie, we were in the middle of something… please come back to the present kinky game and… face the consequences!” he urged his boyfriend, grabbing his shoulder to kiss him.  
  
“You’re right. It’s so rare to have you fully naked at my disposal while I’m still wearing all my clothes… and I’m going to take every single advantage of this situation!” Thomas announced, stating to kiss his nose, his chin, his throat and going down slowly, unbearable slowly.  
  
“Huh! Sure, you know… it’ almost half past eleven and we still have no idea about what to do tomorrow to prank Jogi and Hansi… but… I’m afrad I can’t properly think right now… damn you and your sexy ideas!” Miro moaned again, deeply enjoying Thomas’s kisses on his stomach and belly.  
  
Thomas lifted his head up, in order to stare at Miro. In his eyes there was the light of someone who had just had a wonderful idea.  
  
“Am I wrong or there’s a small roof terrace near the field where we train?” the younger wondered.  
“Yes, there is, but… why?” Miroslav frowned.  
“Okay, we have our plan then!” the German smirked, before revealing everything to his curios partner.  
  
“Oh my god, Thom, it’s brilliant!” Miro approved eagerly, kissing him.  
“So now what we set everything, can I go back to torture you?” Thomas sneered.  
“Yes, please!” Miro practically begged his lover.  
  
************************* (In the meantime)  
  
That night Miroslav and Thomas were not the only ones up again, despite the late hour.  
  
“I can’t believe that half team really thought we did such outrageous stuff!” Philipp muttered, his arm crossed against his chest, as he recalled in his mind all the misunderstanding episodes of that whole day.  
“C’mon, Fips, you always exaggerate! First, it’s not half team, it’s just Lukas, Basti, Thomas and Miro. And second, you know what, honey? They’re just envious because they don’t have our… creativity!” Manuel winked to his lover, leaning closer to kiss him.  
  
For reasons, Mats and Benedikt were missing even that night and Manuel hadn’t lost the opportunity to spend more time with his boyfriend.  
  
Sure, they could not sleep together because Manuel was supposed to go back to his room to sleep, but something was always better than nothing at all.  
Besides, it wasn’t midnight yet, there was still time.  
  
“You’re right, my sweet big bear!” Philipp hugged him, instantly recovering his good mood, but then he notices what his boyfriend is doing.  
“I can’t believe you’re watching it again!” he rolled his eyes, but after all he was amused.  
  
“Oh, please, Fips, I’ve even renounced to my nightly dose of Nutella, in order to keep my fingers clean and skim through the pages, without spoiling them!” Manuel defended. “I just can’t stop watching our filled album, it makes me so damn proud!” he confessed, making the other smile.  
 “You’re right, it’s been a free day well spent.” Philipp approved, re-watching the album with the younger once more.  
They paid particular attention when they reached the German National Team page.  
  
“See? I’ve attached the sticker of your face so perfectly in this assembled trading cards of the whole team!” Philipp congratulated himself  
“Oh, baby, look at you in this sticker: you have such a noble posture, such an authoritative attitude…” Manuel murmured, making his Philipp almost blush with all those compliments. “And… you seem even taller!” the goalkeeper chuckled at the end.  
  
Philipp’s recovered good mood was already a far-off memory.  
  
“Take it back!” the older growled.  
  
Manuel prudently placed their oh so precious album back on the night table, before facing his love’s fury.  
The younger silently cursed himself; why could not he remind to himself how touchy Fips was about the height issue?  
And he regretted his words even more when the Captain painfully pinched both his nipples through the cotton of his T-shirt.  
  
“Take it bloody back!” the older urged him once more.  
“Ouch! Fips, c’mon, you know I love you exactly the way you are, I’d never change an inch of my beloved, sweet, petite bear cub!” Manuel apologized among the whimper of pain.  
  
Philipp loosened his grip and became again the ‘sweet petite bear cub’ Manuel babbled about.  
  
“You know, sometimes I think you can grow tired of me and looking for someone who matches better with you, you know… more robust, taller… and stuff…” the older murmured, his face against Manuel’s shoulder, because he was too shameful to face his look.  
  
Manuel gently pulled his boyfriend, forcing him to stare at his eyes.  
  
“Oh Fips, how can you bring yourself to think such crap? I’ll grow tired of you …when Nutella becomes Turquoise!” he found a way to make his lover smile again.  
  
After all, from Manu that can be considered a declaration of never ending love.  
  
“Aww, Manu!” Philipp hugged him tight. “Well, maybe sometimes, when we hang out, I could wear heels … to make a better impression.” Philipp suggested.  
  
Manuel stared at him shocked and then he felt in a sort of trance.  
  
“Manu… Manuel? Please, tell me you’re not thinking about turquoise Nutella!” the older grumbled, half annoyed, half worried, but he sighed relieved when he saw his partner recover.  
“No way, I was just thinking… oh yes, please, Fips, wear high stilettos!” Manuel pleaded.  
  
“What?! I’ve never mentioned high stiletto… I meant those invisible heels inside the shoes, you know… shoe lifts!” Philipp clarified, almost squeaking.  
“I know, I know, but now I can’t take this picture off of my mind!” Manuel insisted.  
“What picture?” Philipp dared to ask.  
  
“You riding me. Wearing only black, high stiletto boots with studs. Wrapping your legs until the upper thighs!” the other explained, his mouth dry only at the thought.  
“Why… am I not disgusted by this sick idea of yours?” the older wondered.  
“Because you and me are one of a kind, sweetie!” Manuel winked at him. “And if would be even more perfect if we filmed the whole thing!” he added.  
  
Philipp nodded with a huge grin, before  realization hit him.  
“Geez, Manu, no wonder if half team thinks we are dirty, naughty, perverts!” he rolled his eyes, groaning.  
  
But Manuel wasn’t listening to him anymore, a totally different kind of thoughts were invading his mind.  
“Fips, how do you think that a turquoise Nutella would taste?”  
  
*************************************  
  
While, very patiently, Philipp was trying to find a proper answer to that absurd question, another couple was having trouble to sleep.  
Toni kept twisting on the mattress, kicking the sheets and snorting in frustration.  
All his rough movements ended up to wake André, too, no matter if he was peacefully sleeping.  
  
“What’s the matter, honey? Do you have trouble to fall asleep?” he wondered, turning the light on.  
“Hell yeah I can’t!” Toni replied, sitting on the bed.  
  
“But… honey, there’s still time before the match against Brazil, it’s a little early to agitate…” André made his boyfriend notice.  
“What? It’s not for the match, it’s not even for Jogi’s training … I’m afraid I won’ be able to sleep anymore until I’ve found out who are the couples Thomas, Bastian and the others babbled about!” the older confessed.  
  
“What? I can’t believe you’re thinking about it again!” André rolled his eyes.  
“Thinking? It’s turning into a real obsession!” Toni struck back, getting up from the bed. “You know what? I give in; I’m going to tell those four anything they want to know about us if they reveal their secrets. After all, it’s only a quarter to midnight, probably they’re still awake… okay, maybe not Opa, but…” he babbled, wearing the first clothes at his disposal and walking towards the door.  
  
André was faster and managed to block him, grabbing his shoulders before he pulled the handle.  
“Okay, Toney, calm down, it’s evident you’re under a sort of shock. First, believe me, everyone is sleeping now and it would help if also we two followed their example. Tomorrow will be an eventful day!” the younger tried to reason with him.  
  
He smiled when he saw Toni taking off the clothes again, but probably it wasn’t enough yet.  
  
“And second, do you want to find out who those couples are? Fine, there’s no need to involve Basti, Lukas and the others… we’ll find them on our own. Here’s the deal: if now you behave and go back to sleep and this time you try to sleep for real, I’ll set the alarm clock early tomorrow in the morning, so we can begin our researches!” the younger suggested.  
“Yes, please, Andry, let’s start tomorrow!” Toni jumped on his lover, wrapping his arms around his neck. “You know what? Now I feel very very tired, let’s go back to sleep!” he added, allowing himself just to have a proper goodnight kiss from his partner.  
  
Satisfied by that compromise, André reached his boyfriend under the sheet, turning off the light again.  
  
“Andry?” Toni whispered in the dark.  
“Mmm...?” an already asleep André managed to reply.  
  
“What’s the point in getting up very early if everybody will be probably still asleep when we are around?” the older made him notice.  
“Because secret lovers’ escapes always happen very early in the morning, or very late in the night, when everyone is supposed to sleep!” the other clarified, resorting to all his self-control, not to lose his patience.  
  
“Ooooohh, Andry, see why I love you so much? You’re such a genius!” Toni murmured happily, before falling asleep, this time for real.  
  
 ---------------------------------------------------------  
  
It had been a hectic night for some of the players, for different reasons. Also Mats and Benedikt had  one, but definitely of the amusing type.  
  
“I know that after what happened, we shouldn’t have come back to our beach, but… there was such a starry sky…” Mats murmured, heading back to the hotel with his boyfriend.  
“I know. Besides, Lukas and Bastian already discovered us, I guess the worst already happened. We paid the icy price… there’s nothing else we should worry about…” Benedikt agreed, pressing the button of the elevator.  
  
Their plan was simple: sneak into their room and reach their beds, before Philipp woke up, finding out they weren’t there.  
After all, it was five o’clock in the morning; Philipp was supposed to be deeply asleep, right?  
What wasn’t expected was the sliding doors of the elevator opening and revealing a motivated Toni and a drowsy André.  
  
“Woah! I can’t believe it! You are just the people we were looking for!” Toni cheered.  
“Huh?” Mats, Benedikt and even André babbled. The first two because of the shock of finding them there, the last one only because Toni’s yelp had woken him up out of the blue.  
“Why were you looking for us?” Mats tried to act casually.  
  
“Because we want to involve you in a hunt to all the secret couples in our team. Maybe you don’t know, but there are many, even the most unexpected and unsuspected ones.” Toni informed them.  
  
Benedikt and Mats felt goosebumps all over their body, but pretended to be surprised.  
  
“Oh my God? Really? You mean… literal love, not only for the football? Of course, save for Basti and Poldi, everyone knows they’re lovers!” Benedikt commented.  
“Yeah, save for them. Actually, it was just them who told us about all the other couples around!”  
  
André’s words stopped Mats’ and Benedikts’ heartbeat for some seconds.  
  
Lukas and Bastian were the one who had found out about them…  
  
“Yeah, but they didn’t reveal to us who they were, because we didn’t want to…” André went on, figuring out he was revealing too much. “because we didn’t want to know. That’s it.” he corrected himself.  
  
“Yep, he’s right, that’s why we want to find them on our own and were about to ask you if you wanted to join us in this research!” Toni beamed.  
Benedikt and Mats mentally sighed with relief.  
“Huh! Yeah, sure, it seems so cool!” Mats approved.  
“Well, actually we would ask you that during breakfast… by the way. Why are you already up?” André noticed, narrowing his eyes on them.  
  
Goosebumps all over Mats’ and Benedikt’s body. Once more.  
  
“Well, because of jogging, of course!” Mats found a brilliant excuse as fast as he could.  
“There’s nothing better than to run along the sea shore as the sun is about to rise.” Benni added.  
“Actually, it’s an experience I’m not dying to try!” André grumbled with a yawn.  
  
“Instead, André and I got up so early because that’s the most perfect moment to catch some of these secret couples off guard, around when they’re so sure no one can see them…” Toni explained, all thrilled. “Wait a minute!” he paused, staring at his friends intensely. “What’s the point of jogging when all of us know that Jogi will give us a hellish training, because of the free day?” he stated, doubtful.  
  
The missing heartbeat in the secret couple’s hearts were turning a bit annoying.  
  
And one of them had to think very quickly, again.  
  
“Of course there’s a logic behind it. We went jogging in order to feel less the tiredness of Jogi’s training this afternoon!” Benedikt replied.  
“Just how?” Toni frowned.  
  
“It’s like eating. You know, when you have to stuff yourself for a food challenge or for a special occasion… you warm up eating something first, just to keep you stomach trained!” Mats managed to justify Benedikt’s answer.  
  
“Huh? Does Jogi want to take us all to stuff ourselves in an all-you-can-eat restaurant?” André wondered, extremely confused.  
  
Probably he wasn’t fully awake again.  
  
“No, bab…” Toni struck back, temporarily forgetting they were _not_ alone. “Baboon!” he promptly corrected himself.  
“Baboon?!” Benedikt frowned, while Mats burst out laughing.  
  
“Sure… don’t you think he looks like a baboon a little bit?” Toni managed to justify his invention.  
“Hey!” André snapped, not very pleased by that comparison. Who would be, after all?  
At least, finally he seemed awake once for all.  
  
“Mats and Benni was just trying to say that they think it’s better to train on their own before the real training … to be less tired. It has a twisted logic but it works…” Toni clarified.  
“It doesn’t work for me. Extra training? No thanks!” André grumbled.  
“Actually I think you should aim for extra sleep. Your idea of getting up so early didn’t give any result. No one is around.” Benedikt stated.  
“But you are!” Toni struck back, staring at them doubtfully.  
  
“Sure, but only for jogging!” Mats rushed to point out.  
  
“That’s true… I guess they’re right, André … we should go back to sleep!”  
“Now you are saying the right words, Toni!” André approved greedily.  
  
“You know what? I think that the couples you’re trying to hunt probably are clever than you, I mean, you thought you would see them around during the most improbable time of the day… that’s where you’re wrong. Maybe they’re around during the most visible moments, just because no one would ever suspect something!” Mats pretend to advise them.  
“I hadn’t thought about it…” André mumbled.  
  
“Your idea was genial anyway.” Toni comforted him. “But we’ll keep our hunt later in the day. Are you with us?” He turned to the other two listeners.  
“You know… I’d like to help, but I don’t feel like I would do something pleasant: maybe those poor couples, if there are some, just want to be left alone.” Benedikt tried to make them reason and Mats nodded.  
“I don’t give a damn! If those four found so many new couples in our team, I want to do the same!” Toni insisted. “Let’s go André, it means we will be on our own!” he added and the duo left.  
  
“God bless jogging and people who so easily believe we really do that!” Mats chuckled, stealing a kiss from an equally amused Benedikt, before going back to their Captain’s room.  
  
“Did you see how shocked they were? Mats was so ashamed that he barely talked. It’s evident that they don’t care about finding out the hidden couples in our team, quite the contrary, I guess they’re even annoyed by Poldi’s and Basti’s flirting!” André babbled, once he reached again his beloved bed.  
“You’re right, we’ll do better on our own. I’m sure that by the end of the day we’ll find at least one hidden couple!” Toni cheered.  
“That’s the spirit!” André grinned, lifting both of his arms.  
  
Toni giggled.  
“What?” his boyfriend interrogated him.  
“Nothing… but I guess that ‘Baboon’ is a pet name that suits you so much!” the older revealed, before switching the light off.  
  
\----------------------------------------  
  
The morning was rather calm for all die Mannschaft, save for Toni and André who wandered around every possible corner of the hotel and in the nearby.  
But when the afternoon arrived everyone was ready … and not for the training only.  
  
“See the terrace roof I was talking about?” Thomas asked Miro, while they were running, side by side, during the warm-up.  
“Yeah. Do you think you can climb there easily?” the other asked back.  
“It will be a piece of cake!” the Bavarian chuckled. “However, I guess you could get on the top just with a somersault of yours!”  
  
“You’re always so exaggerating!” Miro rolled his eyes. “Well, many and many years ago… maybe.” he sighed with a hint of melancholy.  
“Oh, Miro, you know I hate seeing you like that. Besides, c’mon, you always underestimate yourself so much!” Thomas tried to cheer him up, but it did not work.  
  
Luckily for his Miro, Thomas was resourceful.  
“I know that you’re almost forty years old, but…”  
  
“Hey!” Miroslav almost roared. “I’m only thirty-six years old!” he clarified, very insulted.  
  
Thomas winked at him, with a huge grin.  
“That’s the point, Klosey: _only_ thirty six!” he made him notice.  
  
“Oh, Mullie, any chance for you to be less so impossibly… lovely?” Miroslav beamed.  
“Nope!” the younger stuck his tongue out at him. “So, we are ready to strike; right before the match?”  
“Right before the match.” the Pole confirmed.  
  
At the end of the warm-up, Joachim gathered all the players to set the two teams and start the training match.  
  
Well, almost all of the players.  
“Where the hell is Müller?” the coach roared.  
  
“He.. err… he had an urgency to go to the bathroom.” Miroslav awkwardly explained. “He’ll be here in a heartbeat. By the way, since we had to wait for him, I wanted to show you something. You know… a new game plan I would dare to suggest,” he added.  
“Really?” Joachim frowned.  
  
He could smell ‘prank’ from miles away, but he had to play his role and pretend to believe him.  
  
“Yeah, it’s just a little thing. See that little terrace? Okay, let’s pretend it’s the goal post and you and Flinks are the last defenders before the goalkeeper. Just go there, please.” He instructed the coach and the deputy coach and they obeyed.  
  
“Okay, so what’s the strategy?” Hansi wondered.  
Miroslav sneered devilishly. He was rare to see.  
“The strategy is… always surprise your adversaries!” the Pole yelled, stepping away from them.  
  
That was the arranged signal between the secret lovers.  
  
Before Joachim and Hansi could figure that out, an icy shower fell from the roof, thanks by a giggling Thomas who tipped the bucket over.  
  
As it’s easy to imagine, everyone burst out laughing and someone was already filming everything with their mobile; but Joachim had already noticed that.  
His rage was enough to dry him from the icy water.  
  
“If any of you dare to post that video somewhere, I swear I’ll send you to play in Oberliga!” he growled, furious and everyone immediately deleted said video, terrified.  
  
In the meantime, Thomas had climbed off the little roof, reaching Miro.  
  
They perfectly knew they had been discovered and had to face any possible and dreadful consequence, but truth is that they were extremely proud.  
  
They had won that challenge and everyone in the team would have to show them respect.  
Then… why were everyone smiling so… threateningly?  
  
“Jooooggiiiiii, come here, I don’t want you to catch a cold!” Hansi ran to his coach, equipped with a towel. No matter he was as drenched to the bone as him, he wanted to keep Joachim safe.  
  
Miroslav didn’t miss the scene and since Lukas and Bastian were the only ones without that threatening sneer, he walked close to them.  
“I bet there’s some tender issues even between Jogi and Hansi and if I’m right we’re even!” he whispered to Bastian.  
  
Wrapped in the towel, Joachim menacingly walked towards Miro and Thomas.  
  
“Okay, I had to pay a hard price for that, but at least now the fun part can begin!”  
“Wa.. wait.. wasn’t this the fun part?” Thomas asked, gulping.  
  
 “Guys, let’s take them!” their coach ordered and before they could do anything, Ron-Robert, Jérome and Per were holding them still.  
“You reap what you sow, my dear fellows!” Hansi sneered, cold but satisfied.  
  
Out of the blue, there was a little inflatable pool, near the field. Why was it empty and who had put that there?  
  
“Wait a minute… what’s that?” Miro wondered, yanking in the attempt to break free, unsuccessfully.  
His and Thomas’ agitation grew when they saw Philipp handing to Per and Jerome some robust chords.  
In a few minutes, Miro and Thomas had been placed inside the empty pool, tied back against back.  
  
“Okay, okay, you fooled us. Good job, bring the ice buckets now!” Thomas rolled his eyes.  
“Ice bucket my ass! Your punishment must be far worse” Manuel warned them.  
  
“Guys bring the mud buckets!” Joachim ordered.  
  
One by one, every player took one of the buckets full of mud they had prepared before.  
Lukas and Bastian took two buckets with nonchalance and reached the others.  
  
“Hey, you two! Don’t try to act so innocently!” Benedikt yelled at them.  
“Yeah you are as guilty as Thom and Miro!” Mats added.  
  
“What?! No wait, there’s a huge misunderstanding!” Bastian whined, while Jerome and Per were already after him and Lukas.  
“That’s right. We didn’t want to do those horrible things, Miro and Thomas forced us to!” the Pole whimpered, but it wasn’t convincing at all.  
  
In a couple of minutes the two prankers were tied the same way, placed with Thomas and Miro in the pool.  
Now the fun could start for real.  
  
The first ones walking over them with the buckets were Manuel and Philipp.  
  
“Really, guys, it’s not for the ice bucket thing…” Manuel started, spilling the mud over Miro and Thomas.  
“It’s for the shameful things you dared to think about us!” Philipp hissed, giving the same amount of mud to Lukas and Bastian, too.  
  
Erik and Christoph were the next ones.  
“You lied to us!” Erik snapped  
“There was no Rule!” Christoph roared, before they both threw mud to their ‘tantalizers’.  
  
The following ones were Mats and Benedikt.  
  
“Blackmail or not… you just deserve it!” Mats stated, while Benedikt confined himself only to grinning, before they both got their revenge against Lukas and Bastian.  
  
Also Toni and André walked side by side towards those four.  
André threw the mud to Bastian and Lukas.  
“Believe me, we really don’t want to do that…” he pretended to cry, desperate.  
“But the spirits now possess us and they expect their revenge!” Toni teased them, before pouring the mud over Miroslav and Thomas.  
  
One by one, everyone had his chance to get revenge, but Thomas noticed a little foul play.  
  
“Hey! You already did that!” Thomas hissed, turning to Mario.  
“You’re right, but … this is for Marco!” the younger justified, before throwing mud to him and Miro once more.  
  
For reasons, Mesut and Sami were the only ones who did not take the buckets.  
After all, they felt only grateful towards Miroslav and Thomas.  
Right then, who was feeling anything but grateful was the poor Miro.  
  
“Thomaaassss!” he grumbled.  
“‘Oh, please, old people love thermal baths, so shut up and enjoy the mud’s benefits!” Thomas teased him.  
“I hate you!” Miroslav snapped, trying to kick him, since strangling wasn’t a possible option, because of the ropes.  
“Forget my bed, at least for one week!” the Pole whispered to him.  
“Oh, pretty please, not even if I score against Brazil?” Thomas whispered back.  
  
Who was not annoyed at all was Lukas.  
  
“Basti, is it possible that I’m finding this scenario so damn arousing?” Lukas confessed.  
“Okay, I got it, we’ll have mud sex soon, honey!” Bastian winked at him.  
  
Even Manuel was observing them.  
  
“It doesn’t look so bad... what if we tried that, too, baby?” he whispered to Philipp’s ear.  
“In a tub filled with mud? Geez, Manu, it’s so disgusting!” the Captain grimaced.  
“Nooo, not with mud. With Nutella! Even better if it’s Turquoise Nutella!” the goalkeeper clarified, already daydreaming about it.  
“I swear that if I ever find a Nutella Rehab Center, I’ll send you there!” his boyfriend rolled his eyes.  
  
“I just wonder… how can it be that Miroslav got involved in such prank stuff so much?” Manuel mumbled.  
Lukas had heard him and the answer escaped from his mouth, almost unconsciously.  
“Because love makes people do anything!”  
  
Manuel and Philipp jolted and got the meaning of that sentence, staring puzzled and silent at Miroslav and Thomas.  
“Oh, well, what is done is done. I guess it’s even better, I couldn’t keep this secret to ourselves any longer!” Bastian stated.  
  
The joke was over and the four ‘prisoners’ were untied, ready to reach the shower.  
Maybe not so fast.  
  
“I’m not done yet with you two;” Joachim grumbled, turning to Miroslav and Thomas.  
“What else did we do?” the younger wondered.  
“What you did _not_ do! I’ve been told about all the mess you left in some rooms of the hotel. Well, fresh news: it’s not enough to wait for the water to evaporate, it leaves rings … so guess who will spend half of tomorrow cleaning all those rooms?” he informed them.  
  
Also Lukas and Bastian had heard that.  
“Well, looks like to choose the beach and the swimming pool has been a wise move!” Bastian chuckled, giving a five to his boyfriend.  
  
The coach was still busy yelling at the other two.  
“I’m not excluding you from the team only because you’re too important; but you both’d better score at least once against Brazil!”  
  
\----------------------------------------  
  
Once they were cleaned and as fresh as roses, after the regenerating showers, coming out of the locker, Bastian, Miroslav, Thomas and Lukas found Toni and André waiting for them.  
  
“What? Do you have other buckets to throw at us?” Bastian snapped.  
“No, it’s not that…” André started. “It’s just that we couldn’t talk before, with all the others…”  
  
“And we still don’t have much time, since the training match is about to start…” Toni continued. “We just wanted to say that… we give in, it’s just too hard!”  
“You give in what?” Lukas frowned, but also the other three listeners looked confused.  
  
“The hunt to the hidden couples, they’re just too hard to find. I don’t know how you managed to find more than four ones…” André complained, snorting.  
“Yeah, we tried our best, but we got only two: Jérome and Per and Roman and Ron-Robert, but you surely already know about them…” Toni grumbled, woeful.  
  
“Yeah, plus there would be also Jùlio César and… Ezequiel Garay… but c’mon, it doesn’t count, they’re not even in our team!” André added, even more upset.  
“So, the truth is that we suck in that, we’ll never reach your level!” Toni whined, leaving with an equally disappointed André.  
  
The four friends still had to elaborate all those fresh, astonishing news, but they were certain of one thing only: die Mannschaft would never cease to surprise them!  
\--  
THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it, I’ve finished this one ^^  
> After all, the adventures go on with the other sequels .. by the way I should update also ‘Busy Schedule ‘ sooner or later :/
> 
> Well, you all know how the match against Brazil went.. so Miro and Thomas are fully forgiven, lol ;)
> 
> about the terrace roof, I was thinking about something like this:
> 
> http://www.avso.org/interior-design-ideas/if-the-terrace-extends-the-living-space-the-roof-terrace-of-wood 
> 
> (Imagine that Thomas can reach the roof at the least moment, reaching that from the window… or something like that )
> 
> about the new couples André and Toni found … I found them cute… esp the one outside the team XP
> 
> This is a personal request: pleeeease, write about Toni and André, this fandom needs more fics about them, don’t leave me alone in this battle! ;)
> 
> I hope you had fun even with this part… if I’m not asking you much.. please let me know, both for good or bad opinions ^^ ‘  
> Well, now that I’m back, even so so slowly, expect stuff from me again … oops, sounds like a threat XD
> 
> thanks for reading that ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Second part will come soon. Get ready for the pranks!  
> Hope you liked it so far. Pretty please, let me know anyway ^^  
> I apologize to all the Mario Gomez’s fans, esp to the Thomas/Mario shippers, but I can’t stand him, I can’t help thinking he’s Miroslav’s nemesis (and jealousy rules , btw, I could write something about it one day… ) 
> 
> p.s. I’ll try to update also ‘Too soon’ asap


End file.
